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Re: nightmares give inspiration born of fear (Richard 38464)

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  • wings081
    Hi Richard. Re : Mentally challenged daughter and Visited several times by an oppressive presence which decided to pin me to the bed a couple of times My
    Message 1 of 9 , May 4, 2009
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      Hi Richard.
      Re : "Mentally challenged daughter" and "Visited several times by an oppressive presence which decided to pin me to the bed a couple of times"
      My mind went into overdrive at those statements, wondering just how strong was this daughter.

      Sorry Richard, couldn't resist it.

      As always

      Wings.










      --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Richard J. Bates" <icyimeir@...> wrote:
      >
      > I have to believe that at one time or other, young and old, we all eventually get an unwelcome visit from that other world. Sometimes it's a matter of geogrphy. I once rented a room from a Ukrainian woman with a mentally challenged daughter. I was visited several times by an oppressive presence which decided to pin me to the bed a couple of times. The Bible writes it up as the works of a toothless lion. Fear is his main weapon and when I retaliated with anger and Godly confidence he got away pretty quick. Some people never believe supernatural activity but a man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument. Hollywood needs his antics. It's good for business.
      >
      >
      >
      > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "detectivetraininginstitute" <detectivetraininginstitute@> wrote:
      > >
      > > I had a really bad nightmare the other night, and decided to write about IT, an important part of the nightmare. At first, I only managed to write a jumble of words, but I think the next try turned out all right! OK, it has a few flaws, and sounds better whispered in a scared sounding voice, but ladies and gentlemen.....I give you....
      > >
      > > IT
      > >
      > >
      > > IT is ever hunting,
      > > Ever stalking ITs prey.
      > > IT eminates fear,
      > > And dread, and horror.
      > >
      > > IT is a shape- shifter,
      > > With no one form,
      > > And can be anything,
      > > Animate, or inanimat.
      > >
      > > ITs abilities are unimaginable,
      > > And uncountable.
      > > IT can do anything, what
      > > You consider possable- and impossable.
      > >
      > > IT can catch anyone,
      > > People bolth alive, and dead.
      > > People with no security,
      > > And people with the whole world protecting them.
      > >
      > > There can be no escape,
      > > IT always catches ITs prey.
      > > The prey can run, or fight,
      > > But must do so without hope.
      > >
      > > ITs hunting me.
      > >
      > >
      > > Lorri
      > >
      >
    • Carol
      Dear Lorri, I notice that others have critiqued this poem; however, I d like to add my post. Unfortunately, your poem loses me right up front by beginning with
      Message 2 of 9 , May 4, 2009
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        Dear Lorri,
        I notice that others have critiqued this poem; however, I'd like to add my post. Unfortunately, your poem loses me right up front by beginning with a pronoun. While the piece may lean towards ambiguity, in general, a pronoun is used in reference to a previous noun. But in this piece, there is no direct noun. Here's something you might try to make the poem more concrete and concise. Take out all the "it" and "its" and see what you have left. Also, instead of mapping out the stanza, write it as just a couple of long sentences first. In addition, a spell check would be appropriate for the compositional clarity. I'd like you to try and bring whatever "IT" is to life. Give it teeth, claws (or talons), matted fur and make it growl, purr, or hiss. Make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, and then you have me.
        Carol

        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "detectivetraininginstitute" <detectivetraininginstitute@...> wrote:
        >
        > I had a really bad nightmare the other night, and decided to write ab out IT, an important part of the nightmare. At first, I only managed to write a jumble of words, but I think the next try turned out all right! OK, it has a few flaws, and sounds better whispered in a scared sounding voice, but ladies and gentlemen.....I give you....
        >
        > IT
        >
        >
        > IT is ever hunting,
        > Ever stalking ITs prey.
        > IT eminates fear,
        > And dread, and horror.
        >
        > IT is a shape- shifter,
        > With no one form,
        > And can be anything,
        > Animate, or inanimat.
        >
        > ITs abilities are unimaginable,
        > And uncountable.
        > IT can do anything, what
        > You consider possable- and impossable.
        >
        > IT can catch anyone,
        > People bolth alive, and dead.
        > People with no security,
        > And people with the whole world protecting them.
        >
        > There can be no escape,
        > IT always catches ITs prey.
        > The prey can run, or fight,
        > But must do so without hope.
        >
        > ITs hunting me.
        >
        >
        > Lorri
        >
      • detectivetraininginstitute
        Thats the thing, Carol. The point is for it to be unknown. For every person, it is supposed to be open to interpetation(sorry for the spelling). It is supposed
        Message 3 of 9 , May 4, 2009
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          Thats the thing, Carol. The point is for it to be unknown. For every person, it is supposed to be open to interpetation(sorry for the spelling). It is supposed to be unknown, and you are not supposed to know what it does. Notice that I said 'caught', not killed or tortured or raped or eaten. I meant for it to be what people fear most in their hearts. More so the irrational fear. The fear that follows you every step of your life, the fear that is spoken in every word you speak, shown in every move you make. The fear that is never from your thoughts, and creates suspicions in your mind, coloring your view of the world. If you give form to it, or know what it does, it becomes just another monster, just another bear in the woods or stalker in the streets.

          Lorri

          --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Carol" <carol_emt87@...> wrote:
          >
          > Dear Lorri,
          > I notice that others have critiqued this poem; however, I'd like to add my post. Unfortunately, your poem loses me right up front by beginning with a pronoun. While the piece may lean towards ambiguity, in general, a pronoun is used in reference to a previous noun. But in this piece, there is no direct noun. Here's something you might try to make the poem more concrete and concise. Take out all the "it" and "its" and see what you have left. Also, instead of mapping out the stanza, write it as just a couple of long sentences first. In addition, a spell check would be appropriate for the compositional clarity. I'd like you to try and bring whatever "IT" is to life. Give it teeth, claws (or talons), matted fur and make it growl, purr, or hiss. Make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, and then you have me.
          > Carol
          >
          > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "detectivetraininginstitute" <detectivetraininginstitute@> wrote:
          > >
          > > I had a really bad nightmare the other night, and decided to write ab out IT, an important part of the nightmare. At first, I only managed to write a jumble of words, but I think the next try turned out all right! OK, it has a few flaws, and sounds better whispered in a scared sounding voice, but ladies and gentlemen.....I give you....
          > >
          > > IT
          > >
          > >
          > > IT is ever hunting,
          > > Ever stalking ITs prey.
          > > IT eminates fear,
          > > And dread, and horror.
          > >
          > > IT is a shape- shifter,
          > > With no one form,
          > > And can be anything,
          > > Animate, or inanimat.
          > >
          > > ITs abilities are unimaginable,
          > > And uncountable.
          > > IT can do anything, what
          > > You consider possable- and impossable.
          > >
          > > IT can catch anyone,
          > > People bolth alive, and dead.
          > > People with no security,
          > > And people with the whole world protecting them.
          > >
          > > There can be no escape,
          > > IT always catches ITs prey.
          > > The prey can run, or fight,
          > > But must do so without hope.
          > >
          > > ITs hunting me.
          > >
          > >
          > > Lorri
          > >
          >
        • Richard J. Bates
          Ya ... well I DO tend towards the sensational wings. Nobody ... well- most folks don t want to hear stuff like this but my fingers were quicker than my brain.
          Message 4 of 9 , May 6, 2009
          • 0 Attachment
            Ya ... well I DO tend towards the sensational wings. Nobody ... well- most folks don't want to hear stuff like this but my fingers were quicker than my brain. I think it's probably best for me to just write out and archive these experiences and wait until they address a broader more pertinent set of interests somewhere else. shmak!
            [slaps his fingers]




            --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "wings081" <wings081@...> wrote:
            >
            >
            > Hi Richard.
            > Re : "Mentally challenged daughter" and "Visited several times by an oppressive presence which decided to pin me to the bed a couple of times"
            > My mind went into overdrive at those statements, wondering just how strong was this daughter.
            >
            > Sorry Richard, couldn't resist it.
            >
            > As always
            >
            > Wings.
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Richard J. Bates" <icyimeir@> wrote:
            > >
            > > I have to believe that at one time or other, young and old, we all eventually get an unwelcome visit from that other world. Sometimes it's a matter of geogrphy. I once rented a room from a Ukrainian woman with a mentally challenged daughter. I was visited several times by an oppressive presence which decided to pin me to the bed a couple of times. The Bible writes it up as the works of a toothless lion. Fear is his main weapon and when I retaliated with anger and Godly confidence he got away pretty quick. Some people never believe supernatural activity but a man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument. Hollywood needs his antics. It's good for business.
            > >
            > >
            > >
            > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "detectivetraininginstitute" <detectivetraininginstitute@> wrote:
            > > >
            > > > I had a really bad nightmare the other night, and decided to write about IT, an important part of the nightmare. At first, I only managed to write a jumble of words, but I think the next try turned out all right! OK, it has a few flaws, and sounds better whispered in a scared sounding voice, but ladies and gentlemen.....I give you....
            > > >
            > > > IT
            > > >
            > > >
            > > > IT is ever hunting,
            > > > Ever stalking ITs prey.
            > > > IT eminates fear,
            > > > And dread, and horror.
            > > >
            > > > IT is a shape- shifter,
            > > > With no one form,
            > > > And can be anything,
            > > > Animate, or inanimat.
            > > >
            > > > ITs abilities are unimaginable,
            > > > And uncountable.
            > > > IT can do anything, what
            > > > You consider possable- and impossable.
            > > >
            > > > IT can catch anyone,
            > > > People bolth alive, and dead.
            > > > People with no security,
            > > > And people with the whole world protecting them.
            > > >
            > > > There can be no escape,
            > > > IT always catches ITs prey.
            > > > The prey can run, or fight,
            > > > But must do so without hope.
            > > >
            > > > ITs hunting me.
            > > >
            > > >
            > > > Lorri
            > > >
            > >
            >
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