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Re: Thaw (Rod) (38069 Carol)

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  • albiaicehouse
    Carol and Wings, I think welded grip is so descriptive and unwelds doesn t work for me. I m going with The ice slackens its welded grip, as the soft c
    Message 1 of 9 , Feb 28, 2009
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      Carol and Wings,

      I think "welded grip" is so descriptive and "unwelds" doesn't work for me.

      I'm going with "The ice slackens its welded grip," as the soft "c" in
      "ice" and the "s" in "slackens" seem to roll together so smoothly.

      Thank you both for pointing me at that part of the poem.

      Rod
      aka albi

      http://www.geocities.com/neocoda


      --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "wings081" <wings081@...> wrote:
      >
      > Dear Carol
      > A couple of words for you to ponder in your search for an alternative
      > to releases:
      > Relaxes, Slackens,Unfastens. (Its welded grip)
      >
      > As always
      >
      > Wings
      > Ps. Get back to your studies young lady.
      >
      > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Carol" <carol_emt87@> wrote:
      > >
      > > Hi Rod,
      > > My two cent's worth.....is there a word you could use in the first
      > > line that means unwelded? Say "The ice unwelds (or something like
      > > that)its grip... I think it makes a stronger statement.
      > > And the last line, how do you intend the word "live" to be heard or
      > > spoken? Pesky little thing, isn't it?
      > > The rest works perfectly for me.
      > > Carol
      > >
      > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@>
      > > wrote:
      > > >
      > > > Thaw
      > > >
      > > > The ice releases its welded grip
      > > > in the same month as St. Valentine,
      > > > with growing sun, warms your cold, cold, heart,
      > > >
      > > > But God, he hovers within your reach
      > > > always waiting in the bread and wine
      > > > to give you a totally fresh start.
      > > >
      > > > You say love's not so simple a thing
      > > > but he shows you every day so fine,
      > > > with an open heart, he will not part.
      > > >
      > > > Holy Spirit I ask you freely
      > > > will you always be my valentine?
      > > >
      > > > Live prayer and I shall never depart.
      > > >
      > > >
      > > >
      > > > By Rodney L. Aldrich
      > > > February 9, 2009
      > > >
      > > > Copyright 2009
      > > > Pawling Avenue United Methodist Church
      > > >
      > >
      >
    • Carol
      Hey Rod, Of course, it is always the writer s choice in the final analysis. I do like how that feels rolling off the tongue. Good choice. Carol ... for me. ...
      Message 2 of 9 , Mar 2, 2009
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        Hey Rod,
        Of course, it is always the writer's choice in the final analysis. I
        do like how that feels rolling off the tongue. Good choice.
        Carol

        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@...>
        wrote:
        >
        > Carol and Wings,
        >
        > I think "welded grip" is so descriptive and "unwelds" doesn't work
        for me.
        >
        > I'm going with "The ice slackens its welded grip," as the soft "c"
        in
        > "ice" and the "s" in "slackens" seem to roll together so smoothly.
        >
        > Thank you both for pointing me at that part of the poem.
        >
        > Rod
        > aka albi
        >
        > http://www.geocities.com/neocoda
        >
        >
        > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "wings081" <wings081@> wrote:
        > >
        > > Dear Carol
        > > A couple of words for you to ponder in your search for an
        alternative
        > > to releases:
        > > Relaxes, Slackens,Unfastens. (Its welded grip)
        > >
        > > As always
        > >
        > > Wings
        > > Ps. Get back to your studies young lady.
        > >
        > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Carol" <carol_emt87@> wrote:
        > > >
        > > > Hi Rod,
        > > > My two cent's worth.....is there a word you could use in the
        first
        > > > line that means unwelded? Say "The ice unwelds (or something
        like
        > > > that)its grip... I think it makes a stronger statement.
        > > > And the last line, how do you intend the word "live" to be
        heard or
        > > > spoken? Pesky little thing, isn't it?
        > > > The rest works perfectly for me.
        > > > Carol
        > > >
        > > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@>
        > > > wrote:
        > > > >
        > > > > Thaw
        > > > >
        > > > > The ice releases its welded grip
        > > > > in the same month as St. Valentine,
        > > > > with growing sun, warms your cold, cold, heart,
        > > > >
        > > > > But God, he hovers within your reach
        > > > > always waiting in the bread and wine
        > > > > to give you a totally fresh start.
        > > > >
        > > > > You say love's not so simple a thing
        > > > > but he shows you every day so fine,
        > > > > with an open heart, he will not part.
        > > > >
        > > > > Holy Spirit I ask you freely
        > > > > will you always be my valentine?
        > > > >
        > > > > Live prayer and I shall never depart.
        > > > >
        > > > >
        > > > >
        > > > > By Rodney L. Aldrich
        > > > > February 9, 2009
        > > > >
        > > > > Copyright 2009
        > > > > Pawling Avenue United Methodist Church
        > > > >
        > > >
        > >
        >
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