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Re: ACROSTIC - A Poem

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  • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
    Jim, Thanks for your honest feedback. I will ponder it respectfully as I dig for other posibilities. Gwen ... contrived poem ... there. It ... the ... there.
    Message 1 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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      Jim,

      Thanks for your honest feedback. I will ponder it respectfully as I
      dig for other posibilities.

      Gwen

      --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Jim Lamoreux" <jlamoreux@...>
      wrote:
      >
      >
      >
      > ---I was reading along with this thinking what an artfully
      contrived poem
      > when I landed on the word "yell." I have no idea why I stopped
      there. It
      > makes me think of two things. 1.) we go from royalty to fishwife in
      the
      > voice and 2.) that may not be bad. Maybe it is good that I stopped
      there.
      > For some reason "yell" just stands out for me in contrast to things
      like
      > "Palpate my shores" and "the way you talk to me." This is just
      a "reader's
      > evaluation." Others may not even have noticed, the poem is so tight
      and
      > nicely done.
      >
      >
      > ACROSTIC
      >
      > Harbors and the way you talk to me
      > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
      > Play waves of sax or piano to me
      > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
      > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
      >
      > C Gwen Ames, 2007
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > Learn more about ticket2wite at http://ticket2write.org
      > Yahoo! Groups Links
      >
    • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
      Dear Dave, I think I will have to consider other possibilities as it is an acrostic really. Hugs, Gwen ... more
      Message 2 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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        Dear Dave,

        I think I will have to consider other possibilities as it is an
        acrostic really.

        Hugs,
        Gwen

        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, David Roth <davidjroth2002@...>
        wrote:
        >
        > MiLady,
        >
        > Only one thought - perhaps 'Invoke my name in ecstacy' rather than
        > yelling it out. THe word fits the rest of your splendid vocabulary
        more
        > suitably, I think.
        >
        > Dave
        >
        > queen_of_cryptic_cyphers wrote:
        > > ACROSTIC
        > >
        > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
        > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
        > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
        > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
        > > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
        > >
        > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > Learn more about ticket2wite at http://ticket2write.org
        > > Yahoo! Groups Links
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        >
      • David Roth
        You mean you can t spell Happy as happi? My daughter spells Kathy as Kathi. Same thing, isn t it? LOL Dave Now Available: Sometimes I Hear Voices ISBN:
        Message 3 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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          You mean you can't spell Happy as happi?    My daughter spells Kathy as Kathi.  Same thing, isn't it?  LOL

          Dave
           
           

          Now Available: Sometimes I Hear Voices
          ISBN: 978-1-4116-8690-8


          ----- Original Message ----
          From: queen_of_cryptic_cyphers <poetry4u@...>
          To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Tuesday, January 1, 2008 4:19:55 AM
          Subject: [ticket2write] Re: ACROSTIC - A Poem

          Dear Dave,

          I think I will have to consider other possibilities as it is an
          acrostic really.

          Hugs,
          Gwen

          --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, David Roth <davidjroth2002@...>
          wrote:
          >
          > MiLady,
          >
          > Only one thought - perhaps 'Invoke my name in ecstacy' rather than
          > yelling it out.  THe word fits the rest of your splendid vocabulary
          more
          > suitably, I think.
          >
          > Dave
          >
          >
          queen_of_cryptic_cyphers wrote:
          > > ACROSTIC
          > >
          > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
          > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
          > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
          > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
          > > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
          > >
          > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > > Learn more about ticket2wite at http://ticket2write.org
          > > Yahoo! Groups Links
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          >




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        • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
          Dave, All I can say to that is LOL, LOL, LOL, Happi LOL. Hugs, Gwen ... Kathy as Kathi. Same thing, isn t it? LOL ... than ... vocabulary
          Message 4 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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            Dave,

            All I can say to that is LOL, LOL, LOL, Happi LOL.

            Hugs,
            Gwen

            --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, David Roth <davidjroth2002@...>
            wrote:
            >
            > You mean you can't spell Happy as happi? My daughter spells
            Kathy as Kathi. Same thing, isn't it? LOL
            >
            > Dave
            >
            >
            >
            > Now Available: Sometimes I Hear Voices
            > ISBN: 978-1-4116-8690-8
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > ----- Original Message ----
            > From: queen_of_cryptic_cyphers <poetry4u@...>
            > To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
            > Sent: Tuesday, January 1, 2008 4:19:55 AM
            > Subject: [ticket2write] Re: ACROSTIC - A Poem
            >
            > Dear Dave,
            >
            > I think I will have to consider other possibilities as it is an
            > acrostic really.
            >
            > Hugs,
            > Gwen
            >
            > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, David Roth <davidjroth2002@>
            > wrote:
            > >
            > > MiLady,
            > >
            > > Only one thought - perhaps 'Invoke my name in ecstacy' rather
            than
            > > yelling it out. THe word fits the rest of your splendid
            vocabulary
            > more
            > > suitably, I think.
            > >
            > > Dave
            > >
            > > queen_of_cryptic_cyphers wrote:
            > > > ACROSTIC
            > > >
            > > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
            > > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
            > > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
            > > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
            > > > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
            > > >
            > > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
            > > >
            > > >
            > > >
            > > >
            > > > Learn more about ticket2wite at http://ticket2write.org
            > > > Yahoo! Groups Links
            > > >
            > > >
            > > >
            > > >
            > > >
            > >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > Learn more about ticket2wite at http://ticket2write.org
            > Yahoo! Groups Links
            >
          • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
            Dear Jim, Don t hear from you so often but I really appreciated your comments on this poem. It is amazing how connotations of words vary. I rewrote that one
            Message 5 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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              Dear Jim,

              Don't hear from you so often but I really appreciated your comments
              on this poem. It is amazing how connotations of words vary. I rewrote
              that one line and think the poem is much richer now. The 'fishwife'
              is gone.


              Thanks again.
              Gwen

              ACROSTIC

              Harbors and the way you talk to me
              Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
              Play waves of sax or piano to me
              Palpate my shores with wine and roses
              Yield to new fathoms of ecstasy!

              © Gwen Ames, 2007



              --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Jim Lamoreux" <jlamoreux@...>
              wrote:

              > ---I was reading along with this thinking what an artfully
              contrived poem
              > when I landed on the word "yell." I have no idea why I stopped
              there. It
              > makes me think of two things. 1.) we go from royalty to fishwife in
              the
              > voice and 2.) that may not be bad. Maybe it is good that I stopped
              there.
              > For some reason "yell" just stands out for me in contrast to things
              like
              > "Palpate my shores" and "the way you talk to me." This is just
              a "reader's
              > evaluation." Others may not even have noticed, the poem is so tight
              and
              > nicely done.
              >
              >
              > ACROSTIC
              >
              > Harbors and the way you talk to me
              > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
              > Play waves of sax or piano to me
              > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
              > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
              >
              > C Gwen Ames, 2007
            • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
              Oops! That was suppose to read: ACROSTIC Harbors and the way you talk to me Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come: Play waves of sax or piano to me
              Message 6 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                Oops!

                That was suppose to read:

                ACROSTIC

                Harbors and the way you talk to me
                Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                Play waves of sax or piano to me
                Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                Yield not to new fathoms of ecstasy!

                © Gwen Ames, 2007
              • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
                Apologies!!! My kitty keeps jumping on the laptop keyboard. He is confused about his REAL identity. LOL Gwen
                Message 7 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                  Apologies!!!

                  My kitty keeps jumping on the laptop keyboard. He is confused about his
                  REAL identity. LOL

                  Gwen
                • wings081
                  Dear Gwen What s with this denigration of fish wives. Definitely non-PC Besides I ve known some pretty fish wives daughters. Very expressive with their
                  Message 8 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                    Dear Gwen
                    What's with this denigration of fish wives.
                    Definitely non-PC
                    Besides I've known some pretty fish wives daughters.
                    Very expressive with their terminology but made up for it in other
                    ways.
                    HNY once again

                    As always

                    Wings
                    --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                    <poetry4u@...> wrote:
                    >
                    > Dear Jim,
                    >
                    > Don't hear from you so often but I really appreciated your comments
                    > on this poem. It is amazing how connotations of words vary. I
                    rewrote
                    > that one line and think the poem is much richer now. The 'fishwife'
                    > is gone.
                    >
                    >
                    > Thanks again.
                    > Gwen
                    >
                    > ACROSTIC
                    >
                    > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                    > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                    > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                    > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                    > Yield to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                    >
                    > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Jim Lamoreux" <jlamoreux@>
                    > wrote:
                    >
                    > > ---I was reading along with this thinking what an artfully
                    > contrived poem
                    > > when I landed on the word "yell." I have no idea why I stopped
                    > there. It
                    > > makes me think of two things. 1.) we go from royalty to fishwife
                    in
                    > the
                    > > voice and 2.) that may not be bad. Maybe it is good that I
                    stopped
                    > there.
                    > > For some reason "yell" just stands out for me in contrast to
                    things
                    > like
                    > > "Palpate my shores" and "the way you talk to me." This is just
                    > a "reader's
                    > > evaluation." Others may not even have noticed, the poem is so
                    tight
                    > and
                    > > nicely done.
                    > >
                    > >
                    > > ACROSTIC
                    > >
                    > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                    > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
                    > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                    > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                    > > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
                    > >
                    > > C Gwen Ames, 2007
                    >
                  • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
                    Hey Wings Sir, No denigration intended...really. It is just that Jim recongized the contrast in tone of the earlier lines of this poem to the last one. That is
                    Message 9 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                      Hey Wings Sir,

                      No denigration intended...really. It is just that Jim recongized the
                      contrast in tone of the earlier lines of this poem to the last one.
                      That is all. I was just trying to be consistent. BTW, I think some of
                      my Norwegian ancestors were fisherman so no complaining from me.

                      Hugs to you in the new year. Wishing you blessings galore.

                      Gwen

                      --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "wings081" <wings081@...> wrote:
                      >
                      > Dear Gwen
                      > What's with this denigration of fish wives.
                      > Definitely non-PC
                      > Besides I've known some pretty fish wives daughters.
                      > Very expressive with their terminology but made up for it in other
                      > ways.
                      > HNY once again
                      >
                      > As always
                      >
                      > Wings
                      > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                      > <poetry4u@> wrote:
                      > >
                      > > Dear Jim,
                      > >
                      > > Don't hear from you so often but I really appreciated your
                      comments
                      > > on this poem. It is amazing how connotations of words vary. I
                      > rewrote
                      > > that one line and think the poem is much richer now.
                      The 'fishwife'
                      > > is gone.
                      > >
                      > >
                      > > Thanks again.
                      > > Gwen
                      > >
                      > > ACROSTIC
                      > >
                      > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                      > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                      > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                      > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                      > > Yield to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                      > >
                      > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                      > >
                      > >
                      > >
                      > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Jim Lamoreux" <jlamoreux@>
                      > > wrote:
                      > >
                      > > > ---I was reading along with this thinking what an artfully
                      > > contrived poem
                      > > > when I landed on the word "yell." I have no idea why I stopped
                      > > there. It
                      > > > makes me think of two things. 1.) we go from royalty to
                      fishwife
                      > in
                      > > the
                      > > > voice and 2.) that may not be bad. Maybe it is good that I
                      > stopped
                      > > there.
                      > > > For some reason "yell" just stands out for me in contrast to
                      > things
                      > > like
                      > > > "Palpate my shores" and "the way you talk to me." This is just
                      > > a "reader's
                      > > > evaluation." Others may not even have noticed, the poem is so
                      > tight
                      > > and
                      > > > nicely done.
                      > > >
                      > > >
                      > > > ACROSTIC
                      > > >
                      > > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                      > > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
                      > > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                      > > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                      > > > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
                      > > >
                      > > > C Gwen Ames, 2007
                      > >
                      >
                    • Jim Lamoreux
                      ... because of me, or the word. Now I catch myself missing the fishwife because she made me listen. Maybe it was just me after all. It goes to show that you
                      Message 10 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                        ---I was torn on this one because I wasn't sure if "Yell" was standing out
                        because of me, or the word. Now I catch myself missing the fishwife because
                        she made me listen. Maybe it was just me after all. It goes to show that you
                        can't really count on critiques to give you definitive advice even though
                        the new last line is beautiful. Oh well.


                        Dear Jim,

                        Don't hear from you so often but I really appreciated your comments
                        on this poem. It is amazing how connotations of words vary. I rewrote
                        that one line and think the poem is much richer now. The 'fishwife'
                        is gone.


                        Thanks again.
                        Gwen

                        ACROSTIC

                        Harbors and the way you talk to me
                        Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
                        Play waves of sax or piano to me
                        Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                        Yield to new fathoms of ecstasy!

                        C Gwen Ames, 2007



                        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Jim Lamoreux" <jlamoreux@...>
                        wrote:

                        > ---I was reading along with this thinking what an artfully
                        contrived poem
                        > when I landed on the word "yell." I have no idea why I stopped
                        there. It
                        > makes me think of two things. 1.) we go from royalty to fishwife in
                        the
                        > voice and 2.) that may not be bad. Maybe it is good that I stopped
                        there.
                        > For some reason "yell" just stands out for me in contrast to things
                        like
                        > "Palpate my shores" and "the way you talk to me." This is just
                        a "reader's
                        > evaluation." Others may not even have noticed, the poem is so tight
                        and
                        > nicely done.
                        >
                        >
                        > ACROSTIC
                        >
                        > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                        > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides - Come:
                        > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                        > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                        > Yell out my name in ecstasy!
                        >
                        > C Gwen Ames, 2007





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                      • albiaicehouse
                        Gwen, I know we all are supposed to keep our critiques suggestive and general enough so the author can work it out. But this time a single word change hit me:
                        Message 11 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                          Gwen,

                          I know we all are supposed to keep our critiques suggestive and
                          general enough so the author can work it out.

                          But this time a single word change hit me:

                          For 'new' in the last line, substitute 'undulating'.

                          The resultant line, with an adjustment, would read:

                          'Yield not yet to undulating fathoms of ecstasy!'

                          Wow, is it getting hot in here?

                          Rod
                          aka albi
                          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jumpingstones/


                          --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                          <poetry4u@...> wrote:
                          >
                          > Oops!
                          >
                          > That was suppose to read:
                          >
                          > ACROSTIC
                          >
                          > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                          > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                          > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                          > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                          > Yield not to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                          >
                          > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                          >
                        • Susan Donahue
                          Dear Rod...OMG, there s a little Romance Writer in all of us. I think you better leave this in Gwen s capable hands. I was going to suggest she drop the
                          Message 12 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                            Dear Rod...OMG, there's a little Romance Writer in all of us. I
                            think you better leave this in Gwen's capable hands. I was going to
                            suggest she drop the word, "not" from the last line because I am sort
                            of partial to lovers yielding to fathomless ecstacy. I see the
                            pattern with waves breaking against the shore and undulation, but
                            that just might be a step too far.

                            Suzianne


                            --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@...>
                            wrote:
                            >
                            > Gwen,
                            >
                            > I know we all are supposed to keep our critiques suggestive and
                            > general enough so the author can work it out.
                            >
                            > But this time a single word change hit me:
                            >
                            > For 'new' in the last line, substitute 'undulating'.
                            >
                            > The resultant line, with an adjustment, would read:
                            >
                            > 'Yield not yet to undulating fathoms of ecstasy!'
                            >
                            > Wow, is it getting hot in here?
                            >
                            > Rod
                            > aka albi
                            > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jumpingstones/
                            >
                            >
                            > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                            > <poetry4u@> wrote:
                            > >
                            > > Oops!
                            > >
                            > > That was suppose to read:
                            > >
                            > > ACROSTIC
                            > >
                            > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                            > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                            > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                            > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                            > > Yield not to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                            > >
                            > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                            > >
                            >
                          • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
                            Rod, I love undulating even if it is a tad long for the line. The yet has to go though. As for Wow, is it getting hot in here? ... well you boys just never
                            Message 13 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                              Rod,

                              I love undulating even if it is a tad long for the line. The 'yet'
                              has to go though. As for 'Wow, is it getting hot in here?' ... well
                              you boys just never pass up an opportunity. LOL

                              Hugs,
                              Gwen


                              --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@...>
                              wrote:
                              >
                              > Gwen,
                              >
                              > I know we all are supposed to keep our critiques suggestive and
                              > general enough so the author can work it out.
                              >
                              > But this time a single word change hit me:
                              >
                              > For 'new' in the last line, substitute 'undulating'.
                              >
                              > The resultant line, with an adjustment, would read:
                              >
                              > 'Yield not yet to undulating fathoms of ecstasy!'
                              >
                              > Wow, is it getting hot in here?
                              >
                              > Rod
                              > aka albi
                              > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jumpingstones/
                              >
                              >
                              > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                              > <poetry4u@> wrote:
                              > >
                              > > Oops!
                              > >
                              > > That was suppose to read:
                              > >
                              > > ACROSTIC
                              > >
                              > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                              > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                              > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                              > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                              > > Yield not to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                              > >
                              > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                              > >
                              >
                            • queen_of_cryptic_cyphers
                              Dear Susan, I read this and thought of a question for the writers among us. As I wrote the last line with Yield my mind immediately went to a traffic. We
                              Message 14 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
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                                Dear Susan,

                                I read this and thought of a question for the writers among us. As I
                                wrote the last line with 'Yield' my mind immediately went to a
                                traffic. We yield the right of way and hold back for the legal
                                passing. So that is why I changed the line an inserted a 'not'. I
                                intended the line to read 'please don't hold back'. Am I wrong in my
                                use of that word. Since it can also be used as 'surrender', I imagine
                                it could mean two things. Please advise.

                                Gwen

                                --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Susan Donahue"
                                <suzianne411@...> wrote:
                                >
                                > Dear Rod...OMG, there's a little Romance Writer in all of us. I
                                > think you better leave this in Gwen's capable hands. I was going
                                to
                                > suggest she drop the word, "not" from the last line because I am
                                sort
                                > of partial to lovers yielding to fathomless ecstacy. I see the
                                > pattern with waves breaking against the shore and undulation, but
                                > that just might be a step too far.
                                >
                                > Suzianne
                                >
                                >
                                > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@>
                                > wrote:
                                > >
                                > > Gwen,
                                > >
                                > > I know we all are supposed to keep our critiques suggestive and
                                > > general enough so the author can work it out.
                                > >
                                > > But this time a single word change hit me:
                                > >
                                > > For 'new' in the last line, substitute 'undulating'.
                                > >
                                > > The resultant line, with an adjustment, would read:
                                > >
                                > > 'Yield not yet to undulating fathoms of ecstasy!'
                                > >
                                > > Wow, is it getting hot in here?
                                > >
                                > > Rod
                                > > aka albi
                                > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jumpingstones/
                                > >
                                > >
                                > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                                > > <poetry4u@> wrote:
                                > > >
                                > > > Oops!
                                > > >
                                > > > That was suppose to read:
                                > > >
                                > > > ACROSTIC
                                > > >
                                > > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                                > > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                                > > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                                > > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                                > > > Yield not to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                                > > >
                                > > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                                > > >
                                > >
                                >
                              • Susan Donahue
                                Dear Gwen, You are not wrong. I was thinking in terms of surrender, which I think is a very passionate thing. But, both ways of looking at it are valid.
                                Message 15 of 20 , Jan 1, 2008
                                • 0 Attachment
                                  Dear Gwen,

                                  You are not wrong. I was thinking in terms of surrender, which I
                                  think is a very passionate thing. But, both ways of looking at it
                                  are valid. Traffic? LOL...After the music, the wine and the roses,
                                  that is not where my mind was going. This is your poem, so it is
                                  your call. I will like it either way.

                                  Suzianne


                                  --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                                  <poetry4u@...> wrote:
                                  >
                                  > Dear Susan,
                                  >
                                  > I read this and thought of a question for the writers among us. As
                                  I
                                  > wrote the last line with 'Yield' my mind immediately went to a
                                  > traffic. We yield the right of way and hold back for the legal
                                  > passing. So that is why I changed the line an inserted a 'not'. I
                                  > intended the line to read 'please don't hold back'. Am I wrong in
                                  my
                                  > use of that word. Since it can also be used as 'surrender', I
                                  imagine
                                  > it could mean two things. Please advise.
                                  >
                                  > Gwen
                                  >
                                  > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Susan Donahue"
                                  > <suzianne411@> wrote:
                                  > >
                                  > > Dear Rod...OMG, there's a little Romance Writer in all of us. I
                                  > > think you better leave this in Gwen's capable hands. I was going
                                  > to
                                  > > suggest she drop the word, "not" from the last line because I am
                                  > sort
                                  > > of partial to lovers yielding to fathomless ecstacy. I see the
                                  > > pattern with waves breaking against the shore and undulation, but
                                  > > that just might be a step too far.
                                  > >
                                  > > Suzianne
                                  > >
                                  > >
                                  > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, albiaicehouse <no_reply@>
                                  > > wrote:
                                  > > >
                                  > > > Gwen,
                                  > > >
                                  > > > I know we all are supposed to keep our critiques suggestive and
                                  > > > general enough so the author can work it out.
                                  > > >
                                  > > > But this time a single word change hit me:
                                  > > >
                                  > > > For 'new' in the last line, substitute 'undulating'.
                                  > > >
                                  > > > The resultant line, with an adjustment, would read:
                                  > > >
                                  > > > 'Yield not yet to undulating fathoms of ecstasy!'
                                  > > >
                                  > > > Wow, is it getting hot in here?
                                  > > >
                                  > > > Rod
                                  > > > aka albi
                                  > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jumpingstones/
                                  > > >
                                  > > >
                                  > > > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "queen_of_cryptic_cyphers"
                                  > > > <poetry4u@> wrote:
                                  > > > >
                                  > > > > Oops!
                                  > > > >
                                  > > > > That was suppose to read:
                                  > > > >
                                  > > > > ACROSTIC
                                  > > > >
                                  > > > > Harbors and the way you talk to me
                                  > > > > Adrenaline and the highest spring tides – Come:
                                  > > > > Play waves of sax or piano to me
                                  > > > > Palpate my shores with wine and roses
                                  > > > > Yield not to new fathoms of ecstasy!
                                  > > > >
                                  > > > > © Gwen Ames, 2007
                                  > > > >
                                  > > >
                                  > >
                                  >
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