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Angels Nearby

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  • lynnjr2152
    ANGELS NEARBY When I was thirteen my grandma passed away. I was so close to her, there was nothing I could say. My momma said Don t be sad, she has gone God s
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 3, 2006
      ANGELS NEARBY


      When I was thirteen my grandma passed away.
      I was so close to her, there was nothing I could say.
      My momma said Don't be sad, she has gone God's way.
      He will take her in his arms, so listen to what I have to say.

      Mamma said there are always angels nearby.
      They're sent to comfort you when you start to cry.
      Though you can't always see them, they are always at your side.
      Mamma said there are always angels nearby.

      The doctors said there was nothing they could do.
      The accident had taken my mother's life and the other person's too.
      I fell to my knees as the tears fell like rain.
      But, suddenly my mamma's words echoed through the pain.

      Mamma said there are always angels nearby.
      They're sent to comfort you when you start to cry.
      Though you can't always see them, they are always at your side.
      Mamma said there are always angels nearby.

      Seven years ago my sweet angel was born.
      With every day that passes I praise the Lord.
      For the gift he has given me is the greatest gift of all.
      And every time I pray, I hear a voice call,

      There are always angels nearby.
      They're sent from heaven to watch as joyful tears are cried.
      Though you can't always see them, they are always at your side.
      God says there are always angels nearby...and so am I.
    • Manfred
      Dear Lynn, I found this piece easy to read and digest. The subject matter, very personal and I sense a relief in it s expression. If I could just comment on
      Message 2 of 2 , Dec 3, 2006
        Dear Lynn, I found this piece easy to read and digest. The subject
        matter, very personal and I sense a relief in it's expression.

        If I could just comment on the structure, and in no way detract from
        the subject matter.
        The rhyming couplets work well for the piece, however in the first
        stanza there is a repetition of (a)way and say.

        The first stanza mostly sets the pattern for what follows, so a reader
        should expect that all the following stanzas would have a similar
        rhyming pattern: aaaa, bbbb, cccc, dddd. Instead, the overall rhyming
        pattern is (mostly) aabb from the second stanza onwards.

        Repetition of a phrase can work well as a refrain, but it must be
        consistant. ie.
        "Mamma said there are always angels nearby." may work better at the
        end of all the stanzas. I understand in the current form this device
        would throw the logic out but that could be reworked.

        There are several repetitions in the piece that could be left out. How
        that would effect the logic of the authors thought processes would be
        up to you the author.

        Writing for catharsis can be quite liberating, I hope the heavier
        loads have been lifted for you in this piece's expression.

        I, for one would love to see more.

        Cheers,

        Manfred.






        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "lynnjr2152" <lynnjr2152@...> wrote:
        >
        > ANGELS NEARBY
        >
        >
        > When I was thirteen my grandma passed away.
        > I was so close to her, there was nothing I could say.
        > My momma said Don't be sad, she has gone God's way.
        > He will take her in his arms, so listen to what I have to say.
        >
        > Mamma said there are always angels nearby.
        > They're sent to comfort you when you start to cry.
        > Though you can't always see them, they are always at your side.
        > Mamma said there are always angels nearby.
        >
        > The doctors said there was nothing they could do.
        > The accident had taken my mother's life and the other person's too.
        > I fell to my knees as the tears fell like rain.
        > But, suddenly my mamma's words echoed through the pain.
        >
        > Mamma said there are always angels nearby.
        > They're sent to comfort you when you start to cry.
        > Though you can't always see them, they are always at your side.
        > Mamma said there are always angels nearby.
        >
        > Seven years ago my sweet angel was born.
        > With every day that passes I praise the Lord.
        > For the gift he has given me is the greatest gift of all.
        > And every time I pray, I hear a voice call,
        >
        > There are always angels nearby.
        > They're sent from heaven to watch as joyful tears are cried.
        > Though you can't always see them, they are always at your side.
        > God says there are always angels nearby...and so am I.
        >
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