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Re: [ticket2write] Hazardous materials.

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  • Diva
    heh heh heh, that we are. And the gods help ye if ye be the cause of interruption when said HazMat is trying to compose. wings081
    Message 1 of 8 , Oct 31, 2005
      heh heh heh, that we are.  And the gods help ye if ye be the cause of interruption when said HazMat is trying to compose.

      wings081 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
      Hazardous Material

      Health and safety in the workplace has come to the forefront in the
      UK.
      The following is a prime example:

      Element: Woman
      Symbol:  O+
      Discoverer: Adam
      Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg
      Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas with trace
      elements in outlying regions
      Physical properties:
           1. Surface normally covered with film of powder and paint
           2. Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason
           3. Melts if given special treatment
           5. Found in various grades from virgin material to common ore.
      Chemical properties:
      1.       Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones.
      2.      Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
      3.      Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
      4.      Greatly increased activity when saturated with alcohol
      5.      The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

      Common use:
      1.      Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
      2.      Can be a great aid to relaxation
      3.      Can be a very effective cleaning agent

      Tests:
      1.      Pure specimens turn bright pink when found in their natural
      state
      2.      Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen

      Hazards
      1.      Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
      2.      Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
      maintained as long as specimens do not come into contact with each
      other


      Special note: Any member of the male gender experiencing problems
      when coming into contact with the above element should wrap it
      carefully,mark it "Hazardous Material" and ship it to:

      Wings081 at t2w






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    • Diva
      And High Fives for Carol. Especially childish in groups when they will entertain each other by being windy . (winks) Marge Carol
      Message 2 of 8 , Nov 1, 2005
        And High Fives for Carol.  Especially childish in groups when they will entertain each other by being "windy".   (winks)
         
         
        Marge

        Carol <carol_emt87@...> wrote:
        Hello my friends,
        In response to Wing's concern for safety in the workplace in the UK.
        I hijacked his idea and give you the "flip side of the coin" from our
        side of the lake. Enjoy.
        Carol

        Hazardous Material

        Health and safety in the workplace has come to the forefront in the
        US.
        The following is a prime example:

        Element: Man
        Symbol: O->
        Discoverer: Unknown/allegedly God/the story is told by a man/don't
        trust the narrator
        Atomic Mass: Accepted as 175 lbs, but known to vary from 90 lb kg to
        350 lb
        Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas, established
        hunting grounds, racetracks, with trace elements in outlying regions
        Physical properties:
        1. Surface normally covered with film of grease and sweat
        2. Takes forever to reach simmer, freezes immediately after boiling
        point
        3. Melts only on special occasions
        5. Found in various grades from virgin material to common ore.
        Chemical properties:
        1. Affinity to blood, motor oil, gunpowder and all young females.
        2. Absorbs great quantities of fermented substances
        3. Falls asleep spontaneously without reason or warning.
        4. Greatly decreased activity when saturated with alcohol
        5. The most powerful happiness reducing agent known to women.

        Common use:
        1. Highly childish, especially around pretty girls, can be used for
        entertainment purposes
        2. Once warmed properly, can be a great aid to relaxation
        3. Can be a very effective building or hauling agent

        Tests:
        1. Pure specimens sunburn easily when found in their natural
        state (pack the sunscreen–they won't remember)
        2. Puffs chest and prances when placed alongside a superior specimen

        Hazards
        1. Highly foolish except in experienced hands
        2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
        maintained as long as specimens do not come into contact with each
        other (they don't like to share)


        Special note: HazMat teams are not available or trained to handle
        this element at the present time, however, any member of the female
        gender experiencing problems when coming into contact with the above
        element should wrap it
        gently and carefully, mark it "Hazardous Material" and ship it to:

        carol_emt87 at t2w

        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, wings081 <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        >
        > Hazardous Material
        >
        > Health and safety in the workplace has come to the forefront in the
        > UK.
        > The following is a prime example:
        >
        > Element: Woman
        > Symbol:  O+
        > Discoverer: Adam
        > Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg
        > Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas with trace
        > elements in outlying regions
        > Physical properties:
        >      1. Surface normally covered with film of powder and paint
        >      2. Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason
        >      3. Melts if given special treatment
        >      5. Found in various grades from virgin material to common ore.
        > Chemical properties:
        > 1.       Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones.
        > 2.      Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
        > 3.      Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
        > 4.      Greatly increased activity when saturated with alcohol
        > 5.      The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
        >
        > Common use:
        > 1.      Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
        > 2.      Can be a great aid to relaxation
        > 3.      Can be a very effective cleaning agent
        >
        > Tests:
        > 1.      Pure specimens turn bright pink when found in their natural
        > state
        > 2.      Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen
        >
        > Hazards
        > 1.      Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
        > 2.      Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
        > maintained as long as specimens do not come into contact with each
        > other
        >
        >
        > Special note: Any member of the male gender experiencing problems
        > when coming into contact with the above element should wrap it
        > carefully,mark it "Hazardous Material" and ship it to:
        >
        > Wings081 at t2w
        >






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      • wings081
        Dear Diva. I always considered ye most composed dear lady. As always Wings ... of interruption when said HazMat is trying to compose.
        Message 3 of 8 , Nov 1, 2005
          Dear Diva.
          I always considered ye most composed dear lady.

          As always

          Wings


          --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, Diva <the_only_data_diva@y...>
          wrote:
          >
          > heh heh heh, that we are. And the gods help ye if ye be the cause
          of interruption when said HazMat is trying to compose.
        • wings081
          Dear Marge Men childish in groups ??? Do you hear the children weeping. O my brothers (E.B.Browning). As always Wings ... will entertain each other by being
          Message 4 of 8 , Nov 1, 2005
            Dear Marge
            "Men childish in groups"???

            "Do you hear the children weeping. O my brothers"
            (E.B.Browning).

            As always

            Wings

            --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, Diva <the_only_data_diva@y...>
            wrote:
            >
            > And High Fives for Carol. Especially childish in groups when they
            will entertain each other by being "windy". (winks)
            >
            >
            >
          • Diva
            Wings, I swear you would charm me into parting with my ice wine. Diva wings081 wrote: Dear Diva. I always considered ye most
            Message 5 of 8 , Nov 1, 2005
              Wings,
               
              I swear you would charm me into parting with my ice wine.
               
              Diva

              wings081 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
              Dear Diva.
              I always considered ye most composed dear lady.

              As always

              Wings


              --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, Diva <the_only_data_diva@y...>
              wrote:
              >
              > heh heh heh, that we are.  And the gods help ye if ye be the cause
              of interruption when said HazMat is trying to compose.







              Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

            • Carol
              Hi Marge, I just couldn t resist the chance to banter with our friend Wings. His prompts and his charm always tempt me. On a different note, my two brothers
              Message 6 of 8 , Nov 1, 2005
                Hi Marge,
                I just couldn't resist the chance to banter with our friend Wings.
                His prompts and his charm always tempt me.
                On a different note, my two brothers used to entertain each other
                after a few cold brews by conducting a belching contest (only an
                Irishman). The winner was the first fellow to burp the entire
                alphabet in one breath. Now there's something for my mother to be
                proud of. Then again, I rarely heard them say, "Hold my beer and
                watch this." (smile)
                Carol
                --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, Diva <the_only_data_diva@y...>
                wrote:
                >
                > And High Fives for Carol. Especially childish in groups when they
                will entertain each other by being "windy". (winks)
                >
                >
                > Marge
                >
                > Carol <carol_emt87@y...> wrote:
                > Hello my friends,
                > In response to Wing's concern for safety in the workplace in the
                UK.
                > I hijacked his idea and give you the "flip side of the coin" from
                our
                > side of the lake. Enjoy.
                > Carol
                >
                > Hazardous Material
                >
                > Health and safety in the workplace has come to the forefront in the
                > US.
                > The following is a prime example:
                >
                > Element: Man
                > Symbol: O->
                > Discoverer: Unknown/allegedly God/the story is told by a man/don't
                > trust the narrator
                > Atomic Mass: Accepted as 175 lbs, but known to vary from 90 lb kg
                to
                > 350 lb
                > Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas, established
                > hunting grounds, racetracks, with trace elements in outlying regions
                > Physical properties:
                > 1. Surface normally covered with film of grease and sweat
                > 2. Takes forever to reach simmer, freezes immediately after boiling
                > point
                > 3. Melts only on special occasions
                > 5. Found in various grades from virgin material to common ore.
                > Chemical properties:
                > 1. Affinity to blood, motor oil, gunpowder and all young females.
                > 2. Absorbs great quantities of fermented substances
                > 3. Falls asleep spontaneously without reason or warning.
                > 4. Greatly decreased activity when saturated with alcohol
                > 5. The most powerful happiness reducing agent known to women.
                >
                > Common use:
                > 1. Highly childish, especially around pretty girls, can be used for
                > entertainment purposes
                > 2. Once warmed properly, can be a great aid to relaxation
                > 3. Can be a very effective building or hauling agent
                >
                > Tests:
                > 1. Pure specimens sunburn easily when found in their natural
                > state (pack the sunscreen–they won't remember)
                > 2. Puffs chest and prances when placed alongside a superior specimen
                >
                > Hazards
                > 1. Highly foolish except in experienced hands
                > 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
                > maintained as long as specimens do not come into contact with each
                > other (they don't like to share)
                >
                >
                > Special note: HazMat teams are not available or trained to handle
                > this element at the present time, however, any member of the female
                > gender experiencing problems when coming into contact with the
                above
                > element should wrap it
                > gently and carefully, mark it "Hazardous Material" and ship it to:
                >
                > carol_emt87 at t2w
                >
                > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, wings081 <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                > >
                > > Hazardous Material
                > >
                > > Health and safety in the workplace has come to the forefront in
                the
                > > UK.
                > > The following is a prime example:
                > >
                > > Element: Woman
                > > Symbol: O+
                > > Discoverer: Adam
                > > Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to
                225kg
                > > Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas with trace
                > > elements in outlying regions
                > > Physical properties:
                > > 1. Surface normally covered with film of powder and paint
                > > 2. Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent
                reason
                > > 3. Melts if given special treatment
                > > 5. Found in various grades from virgin material to common
                ore.
                > > Chemical properties:
                > > 1. Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious
                stones.
                > > 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
                > > 3. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
                > > 4. Greatly increased activity when saturated with alcohol
                > > 5. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
                > >
                > > Common use:
                > > 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
                > > 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
                > > 3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent
                > >
                > > Tests:
                > > 1. Pure specimens turn bright pink when found in their
                natural
                > > state
                > > 2. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen
                > >
                > > Hazards
                > > 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
                > > 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
                > > maintained as long as specimens do not come into contact with
                each
                > > other
                > >
                > >
                > > Special note: Any member of the male gender experiencing problems
                > > when coming into contact with the above element should wrap it
                > > carefully,mark it "Hazardous Material" and ship it to:
                > >
                > > Wings081 at t2w
                > >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                > Learn more about ticket2wite at http://ticket2write.tripod.com
                >
                >
                >
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