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Ocean Blue

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  • Rach
    I ve been away from writing for a year at least. This is the first thing I@ ve wanted to write in all that time, any opinions would be greatly appreciated.
    Message 1 of 4 , Feb 27, 2005
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      I've been away from writing for a year at least. This is the first
      thing I@'ve wanted to write in all that time, any opinions would be
      greatly appreciated.


      Ocean Blue

      No more, ocean blue
      I have swum in these eyes
      Like a mermaid
      In her adolescence, pure and gold
      Looking for love
      and a glass slipper

      Ocean, I have killed myself
      I chose you over me
      The sweet notes from
      your instrumental fingers
      For years I lived as though
      I were that piano

      A Bosendorfer
      It seemed your favourite thing
      I could never play to you
      You died before I could learn
      How to recite
      That song for you

      But to my ears it still comes
      Echoing, haunting and taunting me
      The Moonlight Sonata
      I have been afraid it could
      Devour me as the dark approaches
      So black no eyes can see through

      And with it's empty arms
      For Heaven is no longer there
      Oh everyone woman adored you
      For paradise is in blue eyes
      I walked on water proud
      They were all mine

      Ocean blue at the beach
      That is my photo of you
      The sun in your eyes
      Instead of in the sky
      So when He collected you
      I began to offer my bones too

      If there is no more ocean blue
      and the ashes have overtaken you
      Why do the voices still come through?
      I must bite the tongue
      of those who say - so sad
      What happened to you

      The cold hand that grasped
      Your big red heart
      Murderous in its grip
      I watched them cremate you
      And I know who did this too-
      Yes God, I am through with YOU

      Rach, 2005
    • John
      Welcome back to writing Rach. I ve told you in the past that you re a seriously good poet. I m surprised you stopped. I thought you were blazing up your own
      Message 2 of 4 , Feb 27, 2005
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        Welcome back to writing Rach. I've told you in the past that you're
        a seriously good poet. I'm surprised you stopped. I thought you were
        blazing up your own path. I see this poem is on your old theme. It
        reminds me of Beethoven shaking his fist at God as he died. No bland
        comments about style. I just want to encourage you to write. Write
        as well as this. Pick up your path and follow it. John


        --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Rach" <her_rachness@h...>
        wrote:
        >
        >
        > I've been away from writing for a year at least. This is the first
        > thing I@'ve wanted to write in all that time, any opinions would
        be
        > greatly appreciated.
        >
        >
        > Ocean Blue
        >
        > No more, ocean blue
        > I have swum in these eyes
        > Like a mermaid
        > In her adolescence, pure and gold
        > Looking for love
        > and a glass slipper
        >
        > Ocean, I have killed myself
        > I chose you over me
        > The sweet notes from
        > your instrumental fingers
        > For years I lived as though
        > I were that piano
        >
        > A Bosendorfer
        > It seemed your favourite thing
        > I could never play to you
        > You died before I could learn
        > How to recite
        > That song for you
        >
        > But to my ears it still comes
        > Echoing, haunting and taunting me
        > The Moonlight Sonata
        > I have been afraid it could
        > Devour me as the dark approaches
        > So black no eyes can see through
        >
        > And with it's empty arms
        > For Heaven is no longer there
        > Oh everyone woman adored you
        > For paradise is in blue eyes
        > I walked on water proud
        > They were all mine
        >
        > Ocean blue at the beach
        > That is my photo of you
        > The sun in your eyes
        > Instead of in the sky
        > So when He collected you
        > I began to offer my bones too
        >
        > If there is no more ocean blue
        > and the ashes have overtaken you
        > Why do the voices still come through?
        > I must bite the tongue
        > of those who say - so sad
        > What happened to you
        >
        > The cold hand that grasped
        > Your big red heart
        > Murderous in its grip
        > I watched them cremate you
        > And I know who did this too-
        > Yes God, I am through with YOU
        >
        > Rach, 2005
      • Carol Carpenter
        Rach, Thank you for sharing this poem, and welcome back to writing. This poem is very strong, very emotional. I m reminded of the film Ordinary People
        Message 3 of 4 , Feb 27, 2005
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          Rach,
           
          Thank you for sharing this poem, and welcome back to writing. This poem is very strong, very emotional. I'm reminded of the film "Ordinary People" directed by Robert Redford. The film follows a family devastated over the death of the oldest son, the favorite, the "Golden Boy", if you will, and the ensuing self destruction of the family's remaining members. The mother played by Mary Tyler Moore shutters her heart from her husband and the younger son. Mostly, the film focuses on Conrad, the younger son that tried to kill himself. Conrad and his older brother were caught in a storm on Lake Michigan, and the older boy let go and drowned. Conrad struggles with his cold mother, inadequate father, and the guilt he feels not only because of his brother's death, but also because he is still alive. I think we all go through that at some point in our lives, feeling guilty because we live and others don't. We ask, "why me, God?" Why do I live on when so many others do not? I believe in fate, my reason for being, and purpose in life. I hope you do too.
          Carol
          Care to share a bit about yourself?


          Rach <her_rachness@...> wrote:


          I've been away from writing for a year at least. This is the first
          thing I@'ve wanted to write in all that time, any opinions would be
          greatly appreciated.


          Ocean Blue

          No more, ocean blue
          I have swum in these eyes
          Like a mermaid
          In her adolescence, pure and gold
          Looking for love
          and a glass slipper

          Ocean, I have killed myself
          I chose you over me
          The sweet notes from
          your instrumental fingers
          For years I lived as though
          I were that piano

          A Bosendorfer
          It seemed your favourite thing
          I could never play to you
          You died before I could learn
          How to recite
          That song for you

          But to my ears it still comes
          Echoing, haunting and taunting me
          The Moonlight Sonata
          I have been afraid it could
          Devour me as the dark approaches
          So black no eyes can see through

          And with it's empty arms
          For Heaven is no longer there
          Oh everyone woman adored you
          For paradise is in blue eyes
          I walked on water proud
          They were all mine

          Ocean blue at the beach
          That is my photo of you
          The sun in your eyes
          Instead of in the sky
          So when He collected you
          I began to offer my bones too

          If there is no more ocean blue
          and the ashes have overtaken you
          Why do the voices still come through?
          I must bite the tongue
          of those who say  - so sad
          What happened to you

          The cold hand that grasped
          Your big red heart
          Murderous in its grip
          I watched them cremate you
          And I know who did this too-
          Yes God, I am through with YOU

          Rach, 2005








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        • Rach
          Hi, ... a seriously good poet. I m surprised you stopped. Thanks! I just took a break. ... blazing up your own path. I see this poem is on your old theme. Yes.
          Message 4 of 4 , Feb 28, 2005
          • 0 Attachment
            Hi,

            >Welcome back to writing Rach. I've told you in the past that you're
            a seriously good poet. I'm surprised you stopped.

            Thanks! I just took a break.

            >I thought you were
            blazing up your own path. I see this poem is on your old theme.

            Yes. Something happened to make me go back to it.

            Thanks for your nice words. Hopefully I will try to write something
            different soon.

            Rach

            --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "John" <brightasafig@y...> wrote:
            >
            >
            > Welcome back to writing Rach. I've told you in the past that you're
            > a seriously good poet. I'm surprised you stopped. I thought you
            were
            > blazing up your own path. I see this poem is on your old theme. It
            > reminds me of Beethoven shaking his fist at God as he died. No
            bland
            > comments about style. I just want to encourage you to write. Write
            > as well as this. Pick up your path and follow it. John
            >
            >
            > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Rach" <her_rachness@h...>
            > wrote:
            > >
            > >
            > > I've been away from writing for a year at least. This is the
            first
            > > thing I@'ve wanted to write in all that time, any opinions would
            > be
            > > greatly appreciated.
            > >
            > >
            > > Ocean Blue
            > >
            > > No more, ocean blue
            > > I have swum in these eyes
            > > Like a mermaid
            > > In her adolescence, pure and gold
            > > Looking for love
            > > and a glass slipper
            > >
            > > Ocean, I have killed myself
            > > I chose you over me
            > > The sweet notes from
            > > your instrumental fingers
            > > For years I lived as though
            > > I were that piano
            > >
            > > A Bosendorfer
            > > It seemed your favourite thing
            > > I could never play to you
            > > You died before I could learn
            > > How to recite
            > > That song for you
            > >
            > > But to my ears it still comes
            > > Echoing, haunting and taunting me
            > > The Moonlight Sonata
            > > I have been afraid it could
            > > Devour me as the dark approaches
            > > So black no eyes can see through
            > >
            > > And with it's empty arms
            > > For Heaven is no longer there
            > > Oh everyone woman adored you
            > > For paradise is in blue eyes
            > > I walked on water proud
            > > They were all mine
            > >
            > > Ocean blue at the beach
            > > That is my photo of you
            > > The sun in your eyes
            > > Instead of in the sky
            > > So when He collected you
            > > I began to offer my bones too
            > >
            > > If there is no more ocean blue
            > > and the ashes have overtaken you
            > > Why do the voices still come through?
            > > I must bite the tongue
            > > of those who say - so sad
            > > What happened to you
            > >
            > > The cold hand that grasped
            > > Your big red heart
            > > Murderous in its grip
            > > I watched them cremate you
            > > And I know who did this too-
            > > Yes God, I am through with YOU
            > >
            > > Rach, 2005
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