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Port of Call

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  • Jerry
    Port of Call Vessels moor closely Sailors debark excitedly Odd delights dazzle their eyes Money burns their pockets I hawk my merchant wares Dickering over
    Message 1 of 7 , Sep 28, 2004
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      Port of Call


      Vessels moor closely
      Sailors debark excitedly
      Odd delights dazzle their eyes
      Money burns their pockets
      I hawk my merchant wares
      Dickering over prices
      Praising the worth of the worthless
      Humoring would-be patrons
      Listening to tales from afar
      Relating stories told to me
      All the while encouraging them to spend
      Lovely hard earned wages
      Too soon the sun begins to set
      I close my shop
      And take down my garage sale sign

      JK Saylor
      9-28-04
    • Carol Carpenter
      Jerry, This piece enchants me. You whisk me away on a magic carpet to the markets of Khartoum only to delightfully drop me back into Redneck heaven. I laugh at
      Message 2 of 7 , Sep 28, 2004
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        Jerry,
         
        This piece enchants me. You whisk me away on a magic carpet to the markets of Khartoum only to delightfully drop me back into Redneck heaven. I laugh at myself and enjoy the ride!
         
        Carol

        Jerry <jerry5849@...> wrote:




        Port of Call


        Vessels moor closely
        Sailors debark excitedly
        Odd delights dazzle their eyes
        Money burns their pockets
        I hawk my merchant wares
        Dickering over prices
        Praising the worth of the worthless
        Humoring would-be patrons
        Listening to tales from afar
        Relating stories told to me
        All the while encouraging them to spend
        Lovely hard earned wages
        Too soon the sun begins to set
        I close my shop
        And take down my garage sale sign

        JK Saylor
        9-28-04





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      • wings081
        Hi Jerry I like your use of alternative words from the common: debark rather than disembark. And dickering which, although similar, has a different
        Message 3 of 7 , Sep 29, 2004
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          Hi Jerry
          I like your use of alternative words from the common:

          'debark' rather than disembark.
          And 'dickering' which, although similar, has a different
          connotation in this instance to bickering.

          Entertaining Excellence, as is to be expected from your pen.

          As always

          Wings
        • Jerry
          Hey Carol, I m glad you enjoyed this piece. It had been rolling around in my head for a few days and finally came together. I too enjoyed the twist at the
          Message 4 of 7 , Sep 30, 2004
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            Hey Carol,
            I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. It had been rolling around in my
            head for a few days and finally came together. I too enjoyed the
            twist at the end. (lol)
            As always,
            Jerry

            --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, Carol Carpenter
            <carol_emt87@y...> wrote:
            > Jerry,
            >
            > This piece enchants me. You whisk me away on a magic carpet to the
            markets of Khartoum only to delightfully drop me back into Redneck
            heaven. I laugh at myself and enjoy the ride!
            >
            > Carol
            >
            > Jerry <jerry5849@y...> wrote:
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > Port of Call
            >
            >
            > Vessels moor closely
            > Sailors debark excitedly
            > Odd delights dazzle their eyes
            > Money burns their pockets
            > I hawk my merchant wares
            > Dickering over prices
            > Praising the worth of the worthless
            > Humoring would-be patrons
            > Listening to tales from afar
            > Relating stories told to me
            > All the while encouraging them to spend
            > Lovely hard earned wages
            > Too soon the sun begins to set
            > I close my shop
            > And take down my garage sale sign
            >
            > JK Saylor
            > 9-28-04
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > TIP: If you are receiving individual messages, you can modify
            your membership to receive no e-mail or a daily digest of messages.
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          • Jerry
            My friend Wings, Thank you for your high praise of my little offering. Your opinion means a lot to me. Thank you, Jerry
            Message 5 of 7 , Sep 30, 2004
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              My friend Wings,
              Thank you for your high praise of my little offering. Your opinion
              means a lot to me.
              Thank you,
              Jerry

              --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, wings081 <no_reply@y...> wrote:
              > Hi Jerry
              > I like your use of alternative words from the common:
              >
              > 'debark' rather than disembark.
              > And 'dickering' which, although similar, has a different
              > connotation in this instance to bickering.
              >
              > Entertaining Excellence, as is to be expected from your pen.
              >
              > As always
              >
              > Wings
            • Susan Donahue
              Dear Jerry...Everyone has nice things to say, and I am feeling miserable because I was contemplating getting rich by fining you $1 for each excessive adverb
              Message 6 of 7 , Sep 30, 2004
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                Dear Jerry...Everyone has nice things to say, and I am feeling
                miserable because I was contemplating getting rich by fining you $1
                for each excessive adverb and adjective. You know how I hate it
                when modifiers run amuck.

                I really like your poem, and love the surprise ending, but I am
                itching to delete and word which ends in "ly."

                Suzianne

                --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Jerry" <jerry5849@y...> wrote:
                > My friend Wings,
                > Thank you for your high praise of my little offering. Your
                opinion
                > means a lot to me.
                > Thank you,
                > Jerry
                >
                > --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, wings081 <no_reply@y...>
                wrote:
                > > Hi Jerry
                > > I like your use of alternative words from the common:
                > >
                > > 'debark' rather than disembark.
                > > And 'dickering' which, although similar, has a different
                > > connotation in this instance to bickering.
                > >
                > > Entertaining Excellence, as is to be expected from your pen.
                > >
                > > As always
                > >
                > > Wings
              • Jerry
                Suzianne, Leave it to you to be the fly in my ointment, the monkey in my wrench. (laughing) I would be tempted to turn you over my knee and teach you a
                Message 7 of 7 , Oct 1, 2004
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                  Suzianne,
                  Leave it to you to be the fly in my ointment, the monkey in my
                  wrench. (laughing) I would be tempted to turn you over my knee and
                  teach you a lesson except for the fact that you are right on target
                  as usual. Instead of charging me a dollar per excessive modifiers
                  how does a penny sound? After all, I'm only a poor boy. (lol)
                  Thanks for being upfront and honest in your evaluation of my poem.
                  It is refreshing to have someone point out a mistake. Too often I
                  post something and get no feedback at all, other than "good job"
                  or "I liked it." Although being told such things warms an author's
                  heart (everyone likes to hear their baby is cute), it doesn't give
                  him/her anything to work with to make their piece better.
                  As always,
                  Jerry





                  --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Susan Donahue"
                  <suzianne411@y...> wrote:
                  > Dear Jerry...Everyone has nice things to say, and I am feeling
                  > miserable because I was contemplating getting rich by fining you
                  $1
                  > for each excessive adverb and adjective. You know how I hate it
                  > when modifiers run amuck.
                  >
                  > I really like your poem, and love the surprise ending, but I am
                  > itching to delete and word which ends in "ly."
                  >
                  > Suzianne
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