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Re: My haiku and poem (Tin 16298)

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  • wings081
    Hi Tin Maybe I ll be in teacher s bad books for writing this but I m inclined to agree with your comments regarding constricting the flow of poetry to a set of
    Message 1 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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      Hi Tin


      Maybe I'll be in teacher's bad books for writing this but
      I'm inclined to agree with your comments regarding constricting the
      flow of poetry to a set of rules.
      When it comes to poetry, I admit to being a maverick almost deserving
      of the title poetaster.
      I hold poetic license justifying my departure from the conventional
      rules of form.
      I admire the great poets. The Shelleys, the Miltons, the Byrons et al
      but I do not aspire to the gallery of such eminence
      My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes
      trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes
      meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the river of life.
      In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the number of lines or
      syllables.

      As always

      Wings
    • TIONG CHUNGHOO
      dear tin, yes, poetry should reflect the real us, our soul that undergoes different experiences in this vast universe including vibrations from unknown planets
      Message 2 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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        dear tin,

        yes, poetry should reflect the real us, our soul
        that undergoes different experiences in
        this vast universe including vibrations
        from unknown planets and stars...different
        inspirations at different times and the different
        musicality of the thumbprints we carry with us.
        by the way, i did not know that some people here like
        haiku. i would be back with more.

        john

        --- wings081 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
        > Hi Tin
        >
        >
        > Maybe I'll be in teacher's bad books for writing
        > this but
        > I'm inclined to agree with your comments regarding
        > constricting the
        > flow of poetry to a set of rules.
        > When it comes to poetry, I admit to being a maverick
        > almost deserving
        > of the title poetaster.
        > I hold poetic license justifying my departure from
        > the conventional
        > rules of form.
        > I admire the great poets. The Shelleys, the Miltons,
        > the Byrons et al
        > but I do not aspire to the gallery of such eminence
        > My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a
        > stream. Sometimes
        > trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a
        > cataract; sometimes
        > meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the
        > river of life.
        > In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the
        > number of lines or
        > syllables.
        >
        > As always
        >
        > Wings
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >


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      • Charlotte Babb
        Grapes distilled Brandy Corn fermented Bourbon Insight shared Poetry My personal take on a given poem is both the craft of it--if it rhymes and has meter and
        Message 3 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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          Grapes distilled
          Brandy
          Corn fermented
          Bourbon
          Insight shared
          Poetry
           
          My personal take on a given poem is both the craft of it--if it rhymes and has meter and so forth, if it follows a form, it does so with skill--and the experience of it.  The most rigid sonnet can be doggerel and the simplest sentence can evoke a deep insight. Both Poe and Dr. Seuss make exquisite use of meter and rhyme--try reading "The Raven" aloud with a straight face.
           
          The purpose of rules, form and structure are to provide a framework for expressing insight and experience, not to "limit" the poet's choices. You have stated some rules for yourself: "In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the number of lines or
          syllables."
           
          "A poem should not mean
          But be."
           ----Archibald MacLeish "Ars Poetica"

          Charlotte Babb
          Need to lighten up your day?
          Read The Thing in the Tub at Mystic Toad Press

          -----Original Message-----
          From: wings081 [mailto:no_reply@yahoogroups.com]
          Sent: Saturday, January 03, 2004 5:52 AM
          To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: [ticket2write] Re: My haiku and poem (Tin 16298)

          Hi Tin


          Maybe I'll be in teacher's bad books for writing this but
          I'm inclined to agree with your comments regarding constricting the
          flow of poetry to a set of rules.
          When it comes to poetry, I admit to being a maverick almost deserving
          of the title poetaster.
          I hold poetic license justifying my departure from the conventional
          rules of form.
          I admire the great poets. The Shelleys, the Miltons, the Byrons et al
          but I do not aspire to the gallery of such eminence
          My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes
          trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes
          meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the river of life.
          In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the number of lines or
          syllables.

          As always

          Wings















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        • cody windsong
          I am a free verse writer, but I have always been haunted by Robert Frost s words: Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. I do not write
          Message 4 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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            I am a free verse writer, but I have always been haunted by Robert Frost's words: "Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down." I do not write much in standard forms anymore, but I put constraints on myself (this poem will have lines of 10 syllables each...This poem will have ten internal rhymes and so on...) in order to force myself into another creative orbit...
            wings081 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
            Hi Tin


            Maybe I'll be in teacher's bad books for writing this but
            I'm inclined to agree with your comments regarding constricting the
            flow of poetry to a set of rules.
            When it comes to poetry, I admit to being a maverick almost deserving
            of the title poetaster.
            I hold poetic license justifying my departure from the conventional
            rules of form.
            I admire the great poets. The Shelleys, the Miltons, the Byrons et al
            but I do not aspire to the gallery of such eminence
            My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes
            trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes
            meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the river of life.
            In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the number of lines or
            syllables.

            As always

            Wings















            TIP:  If you are receiving individual messages, you can modify your membership to receive no e-mail or a daily digest of messages.



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          • Tom
            My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes meeting an obstruction
            Message 5 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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              My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes
              trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes
              meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the river of life.

              ------------------------------

              Well put, but not always so easy to achieve. That's why many poets
              get counseled to read their work aloud to themselves to see if they
              have attained the flow they want.
            • cody windsong
              One of my professors in my MFA program used to read my new work onto a cassette...It was wonderful!!! I learned so much about flow....Some not so easy
              Message 6 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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                One of my professors in my MFA program used to read my new work onto a cassette...It was wonderful!!! I learned so much about flow....Some not so easy lessons....But valuable...

                Tom <tom_raconteur@...> wrote:
                My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes
                trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes
                meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the river of life.

                ------------------------------

                Well put, but not always so easy to achieve. That's why many poets
                get counseled to read their work aloud to themselves to see if they
                have attained the flow they want.




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              • cody windsong
                Trivia: Dr. Seuss wrote his first book because of a challenge by Bennet Cerf (sp), then the erditor of Random House. Cerf bet him that he couldn t write a
                Message 7 of 13 , Jan 3, 2004
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                  Trivia: Dr. Seuss wrote his first book because of a challenge by Bennet Cerf (sp), then the erditor of Random House. Cerf bet him that he couldn't write a rhyming kid's book using only 100 total words....The rest is millionaire history....I  just looked at our (www.cabobble.com ) list of the all-time best kid's  books and was astounded at how mny belonged to him....
                  The best book on form and structure in poetry is by Kenneth Koch: How Does a Poem Mean
                  and Wishes Lies and Dreams....(A complete abandonment of rules guides this one...)

                  Charlotte Babb <whyzz@...> wrote:
                  Grapes distilled
                  Brandy
                  Corn fermented
                  Bourbon
                  Insight shared
                  Poetry
                   
                  My personal take on a given poem is both the craft of it--if it rhymes and has meter and so forth, if it follows a form, it does so with skill--and the experience of it.  The most rigid sonnet can be doggerel and the simplest sentence can evoke a deep insight. Both Poe and Dr. Seuss make exquisite use of meter and rhyme--try reading "The Raven" aloud with a straight face.
                   
                  The purpose of rules, form and structure are to provide a framework for expressing insight and experience, not to "limit" the poet's choices. You have stated some rules for yourself: "In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the number of lines or
                  syllables."
                   
                  "A poem should not mean
                  But be."
                   ----Archibald MacLeish "Ars Poetica"

                  Charlotte Babb
                  Need to lighten up your day?
                  Read The Thing in the Tub at Mystic Toad Press

                  -----Original Message-----
                  From: wings081 [mailto:no_reply@yahoogroups.com]
                  Sent: Saturday, January 03, 2004 5:52 AM
                  To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
                  Subject: [ticket2write] Re: My haiku and poem (Tin 16298)

                  Hi Tin


                  Maybe I'll be in teacher's bad books for writing this but
                  I'm inclined to agree with your comments regarding constricting the
                  flow of poetry to a set of rules.
                  When it comes to poetry, I admit to being a maverick almost deserving
                  of the title poetaster.
                  I hold poetic license justifying my departure from the conventional
                  rules of form.
                  I admire the great poets. The Shelleys, the Miltons, the Byrons et al
                  but I do not aspire to the gallery of such eminence
                  My poetry must have a theme, rhythm, and flow as a stream. Sometimes
                  trickling over pebbles; sometimes racing down a cataract; sometimes
                  meeting an obstruction but finally merging with the river of life.
                  In short: A rhyming story taking no account of the number of lines or
                  syllables.

                  As always

                  Wings















                  TIP:  If you are receiving individual messages, you can modify your membership to receive no e-mail or a daily digest of messages.



                  Yahoo! Groups Links



                  TIP:  If you are receiving individual messages, you can modify your membership to receive no e-mail or a daily digest of messages.



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                • TIONG CHUNGHOO
                  MY HAIKU: (JOHN TIONG) new man in the house as she paints her lips she notices the new tone of son POEM: THE FIRST SNOW They spiral down the sky like cotton So
                  Message 8 of 13 , Jan 4, 2004
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                    MY HAIKU:
                    (JOHN TIONG)

                    new man in the house
                    as she paints her lips
                    she notices the new tone of son


                    POEM: THE FIRST SNOW

                    They spiral down the sky like cotton
                    So light, dancing and twirling in circles
                    Creating a cheerful note that spreads
                    With the winds. The city roads are a maze
                    Of rutted white interspersed with greyish
                    Sandy marks of footsteps and hasty
                    Signatures of motorcycles, bicycles
                    And cars making their purposeful rides
                    To all corners of the city. The rail system
                    Normally running smoothly hits a hitch,
                    The tracks snow covered, needing a shove.
                    The city suddenly turns out a parade
                    Of mundane coloured umbrellas, leather
                    Coats and bags, a monotony made less
                    Intrusive only by the tasteful choice of
                    Exotic scarfs folded snugly around each
                    Neck. The snow falling gently all over,
                    Creating a scene so dear to an artist
                    Who if sufficiently inspired could
                    Probably turn out his magnum opus to
                    Marvel the world!



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                  • John
                    I m nervous of haiku because of the contemplative detachment it requires. If I know there s a pain I want to find it and hurt/scream/curse; I don t want to
                    Message 9 of 13 , Jan 7, 2004
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                      I'm nervous of haiku because of the contemplative detachment it
                      requires. If I know there's a pain I want to find it and
                      hurt/scream/curse; I don't want to submerge it in calm water. But I
                      like this haiku. However, I was very moved by the poem. The little
                      shoe is so powerful an image for the miscarriage, the little life
                      that wasn't. You really know how to open up feelings! The language
                      problems with this poem are small compared with the boldness and
                      vision of this poem. There's a problem with consistancy diction: if
                      you use Americanese like "that sure has" and "movie" you can't also
                      use "morn". There's a confusion between the shoe and you when you
                      switch to your memoriies in line 6. I know you're using your life to
                      show how sad it is the miscarried child missed his, but it is
                      confusing. Other things, not right in English like "school grass
                      field" and "horror face". But these are details - drop the detachment
                      and write more poems like Little Shoe by the Roadside!

                      John


                      --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, TIONG CHUNGHOO <BAGIRUANG@Y...>
                      wrote:
                      > a haiku and poem i wish to share
                      > with all of you:
                      >
                      > birds in the park
                      > do they miss the old woman
                      > who didn't turn up today?
                      >
                      > POEM: LITTLE SHOE AT ROADSIDE
                      >
                      > A miscarriage; a little red shoe at roadside;
                      > Keen for action, bidding for attention.
                      > A little shoe that sure has lots of adventures
                      > To tell of its young master;
                      > Of visitations to the supermarket
                      > With daddy when I got lost among
                      > The toys department Tarzan collections,
                      > Of refreshing exercises
                      > In the school grass field
                      > In the first light of morn,
                      > Of trips to the movie when I had
                      > Hugged daddy tight when a horror
                      > Face had appeared,
                      > Of the chase in the park for
                      > The fun of scarrying away the birds.
                      >
                      > Tears trickle down my cheeks brought
                      > On by a lost child; the same shoe size!
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > __________________________________
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