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23099Re: Shimmer

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  • albiaicehouse
    Apr 2, 2005
      Diva,

      Do you like the title?

      Of course you like it, because you chose it, but...

      When you reread it now, can you think of better titles?

      Shimmer goes with the rainbow, maybe, at the end, but I think they
      glow more than anything. The word "shimmer" doesn't seem to prepare me
      enough for the awakening, the huge shift.

      I'd like one better that presages the change brought about by the
      stark red rose. That's the real center of that poem...the red rose.

      How about "Scarlet Bolt"?

      albi


      --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "the_only_data_diva"
      <the_only_data_diva@y...> wrote:
      >
      >
      > Shimmer
      >
      > What have you done?
      > I was accepting of morning fog
      > and the flat gray of the river
      > that flowed through my day.
      >
      > I'd grown tone-deaf
      > to fog horns and
      > the searing slice of sirens
      > went unnoticed too.
      >
      > You had to
      > disturb my palette
      > with that red rose
      > on my keyboard.
      >
      > And now all I see,
      > primarily,
      > are pastels
      > and rainbows.
      >
      >
      > 03/30/05 Diva
      > aka WordFaery
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