- Apr 1, 2005Dear Matt...Excellent observations on a very nice poem! In theatre,
the direct comments to the audience are called "asides." The
effect, in writing as well as in drama, can bring the audience or
reader abruptly into the thoughts of the writer. This is an
interesting technique to focus the attention of the reader. I have
observed it used in the poems of Billy Collins. He can make
something quite ordinary take on significance.
In Diva's poem, the image of the red rose on the black and white
keys of the piano will linger in the reader's mind. (hmmmmm...did
she mean her computer keyboard? Maybe, but I have the stunning
red/black and white picture in my mind.)
--- In email@example.com, "Matt Lamoreux"
> What have you done?
> I was accepting of morning fog
> and the flat gray of the river
> that flowed through my day.
> I'd grown tone-deaf
> to fog horns and
> the searing slice of sirens
> went unnoticed too.
> You had to
> disturb my palette
> with that red rose
> on my keyboard.
> And now all I see,
> are pastels
> and rainbows.
> 03/30/05 Diva
> aka WordFaery
> ---One of the things I'm experimenting with in writing, is a sort
> form style that will stop and talk to the reader sometimes. I amdoing a
> report on Angela Carter, and this was pointed out to me...that shewould
> stop and talk to us in her prose. See what I mean? That'swhat "What have
> you done?" does for me. I know you're not talking to me, but rightup
> front...you have my attention. Ok, "What have I done?"come and go
> ---After that I am introduced to the idea, that the things that
> in our lives are largely unnoticed. What a perfect way to saythat. Then a
> palette is disturbed...by a rose. It places that rose right in thecenter of
> my inner vision. And the clarity there is impeccable.has ever
> ---Now what happens? This is easy to decipher for me. Anyone who
> seen a pastel drawing, is drawn into those warm, fuzzy colors, andanyone
> who has ever stopped their car to gaze at a shimmering rainbow,knows what's
> going on in your poem right now.sure if
> ---This is so artfully and delicately turned, that I'm not really
> I'm saying any of this right. I hope you understand my meaning.
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