My sitting is heavily effected by my disorder. I know distractions are common to every type of meditation; for every person. I at first would visualize my mind as a cloud. I began concentrating on moving that cloud towards the back of my head. I was pushing away myself. What remained were my senses. It then became much easier to accept and eliminate outside influence. I should note I woulf become very sleepy during those times; and would need to stop. The practice has become second-nature. The next obstacle became learning to control not explicitly how I eliminate thoughts. The issue was I needed a concrete method for knowing when to block out a thought, and when to embrace an idea.
Blocking out a thought is not necessarily a good thing for everyone. In fact I would not recommend it to anyone.
Nowadays I no longer give much conscious thought to controlling what I think. It is now a muscle memory keeping me sane. The cloud is gone. I am a much more peaceful person. I think the most important result of this experience is I have regained much of my innocence.
From: "dorjeshonnu" <dorjeshonnu@...
Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 19:37:17
Subject: [TBG] schizophrenia & sitting
"Sean Pedersen " <seanpedersen1985@...> wrote:
> I understand mental illness is taboo on your side of the world; I
> hope you all will give me the chance to demonstrate that not all
> mental illness is what is commonly perceived in the media. I merely
> seek enlightenment.
can you characterize how it affects your sitting?
your writing communicates clearly & pleasantly.
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