WRECK: People are Animals Too
- wReck thiS meSS ~ Radio Patapoe 97.2 ~ Amsterdam
Ethno-Illogical Psycho-Radiographies: no. 264: Animals Are People Too
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man
o Mark Twain
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to
I can't answer your question"
o George W. Bush
"Love turns, with a little indulgence to indifference or disgust.
Hatred alone is immortal."
o Wiliam Hazlitt, The Pleasure of Hating
Its easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern
America's favorite pet. People like pets
to possess the same qualities they do. Catsare irresponsible and
recognize no authority,
yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot
be made to do anything useful. Cats are
mean for the fun of it.
* P. J. O'Rourke
Bird Variations > Philip Perkins 
Obere Schwyalp, Klöntal > Cyrill Schläpfer [1a]
El Animal > Clorofila 
No Birds > PiL 
Animal Song > 8 oder 9 
I'd Love to be a Cowgirl (But I'm a Scared a Cows) > Carolina Cotton 
Bzz Bzz Bzz > Jonathan Richman 
Pig on Cow > Brad Dutz & John Holmes 
Too Bad Cow > The Upsetters 
Narayana's Cows > Daniel Kinetzy 
Female Pig Herder > V/Vm 
Yodeling Mule > Three Tobacco Tags 
Lu Me Seccu [Mule Song] > Italian Folk Singers 
Het Verdwaalde Lam [The Lost Lamb] > De Damkrakkertjes 
My Old Cowpony & I > Tex Cochrane 
La Horse > Howie B. vs Serge Gainsbourg 
I'm A Little Horse > Bran Flakes [15a]
I Hate Dogs > Erika Stucky 
Prima Donna French Poodle > Tony Schwartz 
Bulldog / Dachshund / Terrier
Dog Calls > Howard Finster 
Dog bite > Black Sifichi vs Black Dog vs a1 People [18a]
Hurraydog 2001 > Birdie Num Num & the Spirit Squad [18b]
My Dog is a Plumber > Dick Cavett [18c]
Ol' Coyote > Wylie and the Wild West 
Last Trak / Birds > Blevin Blectum 
Birdie Song > Waterboys vs Little Annie 
The Cuckoo Yodel > Eastside Dave & the Mountain Folk Band 
Cackling Hen Blues > Riverside Ramblers 
What the Birds Overheard > Metamatics 
Bird Song > David Moore & Muhal Richard Abrams
Get the Bird Flyin' > Glen Campbell 
Blue Heron > Jack Collom 
Hey There Little Insect > Jonathan Richman 
Smiley the Grasshopper > Sarah Smith 
The Fish Needs a Bike > Blurt 
Shark's Callers > Laurent Ho as Carla Elves 
Shark Circles > Andrew Duke 
Electric Eels [in Half Light] > Rob Mazurek 
Fish Heads > Barnes & Barnes 
Baby Elephant Walk > Henry Mancini 
 "A poet is a bird of unearthly excellence, who escapes from his
celestial realm arrives in this world warbling." o Kahlil Gibran
[1a] "Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think
I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"? o
Bill Watterson // "['s Fahr Glüüt]" on CSR <www.csr-records.ch> is
another in this series of incredibly enchanting soundscape CDs which
are intoxicatingly representative sonic portraits of certain aspects
of Swiss [vanshing] culture. "True Tone" volumes 1-5 including: ['s
Glüüt vols. 1-2], [ 's Fahr Glüüt], [Les Sonailles] [CD 91522, 91532,
91482, 91492] is a series of ambient recordings of, yes, the pastoral
/ pastaural Swiss scenery. What do the Alps, the pastures, the
rolling hills sound like? They are alive and filled with the
atmospherically pregnant sounds of intoxicating cow bells of the
herds grazing the steep rolling pastures. While [Morgeluft] [CD
91582] captures the sound of the lake Vierwaldstattersee, the lake
which he lives near and which Luzern stretches along, 6-7:30 a.m., 6
May 1990. You can picture Schläpfer tromping around the Alps in the
thin air, sneaking up on the herds with his sound equipment. Clear
and resonant as a - well - as a bell.
 "No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so
good as drink." o G. K. Chesterton // "Frontier Life" on Accretions
<www.accretions.com> Pinned between improv, folk, noise, punk and a
barbed wire fence separating us from them.
 "A forest bird never wants a cage." Henrik Ibsen // "Second
Edition" on Virgin vinyl, 1979. Came along at a perfect time to
describe my panic, haze, existential euphoria and dread in NY as a
long-hair wannabe punk who'd been living in the Midwest WAY too long.
This along with Joy Division and New Order were the soundtracks that
served as sonic heroin for month and months The great thing about
PiL was that it was great music that upset many many people at
parties. I know, I tried to DJ parties in lieu of not meeting girls,
women, or other attractors
 "Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their
affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal.
Difficult standards for people to live up to." o Alfred A. Montapert
// "Liebende Arme" on Austro Mechana, 1989. Imagine Kraftwerk driven
through Tirol by Curt Jurgens and arguing with members from the Bonzo
Dog Band and Van der Graaf Generator about where to pee and where to
eat along the autobahn.
 "Moo Moo how they scare me" Carolina Cotton // "Yodel, Yodel,
Yodel" on Binge <www.dagmar-anita-binge.de> Great label putting out
great neglected obscure music[ians] like CC, an incredibly talented
singer, yodeler, and songwriter.
 "A fly may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is
but an insect, and the other is a horse still." o Samuel Johnson //
"Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers" on Berserkley, 1976. Great
post-renovated rock and roll. Simple, eccentric, and poetic.
 I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat
us as equals. o Sir Winston Churchill // "My Bongos" on PF Mentum
<www.pfmentum.com>. the party is not over and you are stepping on
buttery popcorn with your bare feet. Where did all the beatniks go?
Percussion played on the skins of your skull - from the inside.
 "A publisher who writes is like a cow in a milk bar." o Arthur
Koestler // "Dub / Original Bass Culture" on Metro
<www.unionsquaremusic.co.uk> Very nice and handsome collection of
some very vital mid-70s roots dub inc. Niney, Lee Perry, King Tubby,
Prince Far I and Prince Jammy. <info@...> Perry
pulls out all the stops in his-multi-sonic assault on dub. Known to
fold in and sample cows mooing, yodeling, cow bells, explosions
 "For almost 70 years the life insurance industry has been a smug
sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull." o Ralph
Nader // "Kientzy Plays Johnson" on Pogus <www.pogus.com>
Unbelievable how music based on its next of kind, mathematics, can
actually sound warm and close to moving. Liner notes: "Narayana's
Cows / This music, inspired by an Indian mathematician of the 14th
century, and playable on any combination of instruments, is written
on three staves: the complete melody, the reduced bass melody, and
the drone. The first and one of the most often played interpretations
was that of the German ensemble Ugly Culture, a trio of saxophone,
guitar, and bass, but there have been many other trio versions, as
well as versions by one, four and six instruments. Larger ensemble
interpretations have also been performed by groups such as
MusikFabrik and the Ives Ensemble. The present multi-track saxophone
version is probably as rich and energetic as any of the large
ensemble versions. The melody is played by three overdubbed sopranino
saxophones in unison, the bass line is played by three baritones, and
the drone is played by three altos. In the last section, however, the
1 7th year of the problem, each line spreads out to three octaves
with a new distribution of instruments. Now two sopraninos and one
alto play the melody, two altos and one baritone play the drone, and
two baritones and one contrabass cover the bass line. The final
solution of the problem is further illuminated with slap tongue
 Never try and teach a pig to sing: it's a waste of time, and it
annoys the pig." o Robert A. Heinlein // "A Fat Cat Sampler" on Fat
Cat. Excellent example of punk speculative noise and intellect. This
piece is yet another assault on bad taste with barnyard evocations
that will not only send the pigs home to roost, it will fry the bacon
fat outta their useless brains.
 "I swims in the Tagus all across at once, / and I rides on an
ass or a mule, / and swears Portuguese, / and have got a diarrhea and
bites from the mosquitoes. But what of that? / Comfort must not be
expected by folks that go a pleasuring o Lord Byron // "American
Yodeling: 1911-1946" on Trikont. Makers of intelligent and beautiful
CD compilations that unearths forgotten music[s]. This is definitely
one of their more inspired CDs and a perfect starter compilation on
your way to appreciating the maligned yodel. Also featured in my
book, YODEL-AY-EE-OOOO: The SECRET HISTORY of YODELING Around the
 "A mule will labor ten years willingly and patiently for you,
for the privilege of kicking you once." o William Faulkner
 "Lambs are animals that smile while you're eating them." B/art
// "Zingen 42 Bekende Kleuter- en Kinderliedjes" on EMI-Bovema. There
is nothing as potentially annoying as huge choruses of singing
 "I sit astride life like a bad rider on a horse. I only owe it
to the horse's good nature that I am not thrown off at this very
moment." o Ludwig Wittgenstein // "The Complete Canadian Yodel Song
Sessions" on Cattle <www.dagmar-anita-binge.de>. Another forgotten
Canadian cowboy who yodels in a pleasant manner.
 "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on
people." WC Fields // "Cinemix" on Universal. Strange blend of young
hipster tripsters remixing and reinterpreting forgotten soundtracks
for an uneasy sometimes inspired instant but for the most part a
project still waiting to reel.
[15a] "Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse." o Groucho Marx //
"Bounces!" on Happytime <www.branflakes.com> Negativland meets the
Ramones while committing Culturcide.
 "A fly may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is
but an insect, and the other is a horse still." o Samuel Johnson
 "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog
it's too dark to read." o Groucho Marx
 "Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out
and your dog would go in." o Mark Twain
[18a] "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant
popularity of dogs." o Aldous Huxley
[18b] "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a
sweater suggest that he wear a tail." o Fran Lebowitz
[18c] "Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come
back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken,
pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on
earth!" o Anne Tyler // "Free to Be You & Me" Arista, 1972.
Touchy-Feelie, feel-good PC songs - 'Parents are People', 'It's
alright to Cry' - about how we are all equals and children at heart.
Sung and written by a load of entertainment liberals in a kind of PBS
smilie style. Actually some funny bits.
 "When the coyotes are howlin', I know all is well in our part of
the world." o Wylie Gustafson // "Ridin' the Hi-Line" on Rounder
 "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will
drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for
itself." o DH Lawrence // "Look! Magic Apple" on Praemedia
<www.praemedia.com> curious blend of nature and anti-nature, of chaos
and order, ...
 "When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber." o Sir
 "Mountain Spirit" on Mountain Folk <www.mountainfolk.com>
Mountain music and plenty of yodeling. Very exuberant PA yodeler with
a fresh face and a mind that climbs the highest peaks
 "If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen."
o Nikita S. Khrushchev // "Black & White Hillbilly Music" on Trikont.
Less fascinating sonically and culturally than the Yodel compilation
or some of their other collections but still worthwhile.
 "FromDeathToPasswordsWhereYou'reAPaperAeroplane" on Duke98.
great disc of mysterious sounds and poetry from Devon.
 "The Greatest Stars of Folk Music" on Legacy. Also inc: Kingston
Trio, Hoyt Axton, Brownie & Sonny, Oscar Brand
 "The blue heron was trotting thru the woods. Upon meeting a
young woman he laid down his fish and stopperd her. Saying: "A trade
- a fish for love in the scale of things, blushing, standing like a
soldier and she circled around him to pass he picked a flower and
grinned" Great combination of ornithology, poetry, storytelling and
 "What would be left of our tragedies if an insect were to present us his?"
E.M. Cioran // "Back in Your Life" on Berserkley, 1979.
 "The male grasshopper perches on the femaleís back when mating,
which can last several hours. The female immediately lays her eggs in
the soil. Her abdomen is highly flexible and can be extended like a
telescope to more than double its normal length, allowing her to
deposit the eggs as deep in the soil as possible. The eggs are
wrapped in a spongy material, known as an ootheca. In spite of this
protection, the eggs may be detected and preyed on by a variety of
parasites, which lay their own eggs inside the grasshoppersí eggs. o
ladywildlife.com // Great deceptive poem about the deceptive nature
of naiveté. How our idealism is squashed by the realities imposed
 "Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way
of falling." Andre Gide // "Let There Be Blurt" on Salamander
<www.slamanderrecords.com> <tedmilton.com>. Brilliance in clankerous
harmony. Simplicity the secret, dada the weapon, iconoclasm the
 "Microsoft is like the great white shark - a killing machine
without soul or conscience that only knows its own hunger and
appetites." o Mitchell Kertzman // "Soundtracks: The Tronica Project"
on Uncivilized <wwwuncivilizedworld.com>
 Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live
one to swim upstream. o W.C. Fields // "Sprung" on Bip Hop
<www.bip-hop.com> Brilliant synthetic apocalypse. His material
continues to grow on me. Also check out his excellent "Take Nothing
 "Sweet & Vicious like Frankenstein" on Mego <www.mego.at>.
Electric eels deep deep in a noisy treacherous ocean.
 "Vox Populari Mix" on Jarring Effects
<www.jarringeffects.free.fr>. MIX BY CATWEASEL
<catweasl@...> in CA. Genius synthesis and thievery on the
level of Negativland, Culturcide, KLF. This is a cold Ken Nordine or
- better yet - some vapid documentary voice over reading of a Snoop
Dogg "poem" which, divorced from all the beats and noise, sounds
about as interesting as Dr. Seuss lobotomized and stuck in a
moulinex Bring on the flat 40 ounce. Where's the bubbles, man? Look
rectally you rapper baron.
 "The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as
everyone who has seen a circus parade knows, proceeds best by
grasping the tail." Adlai E. Stevenson // "Henry Mancini" Genius and
"Scott Muni is dead. Does that mean all the rest of you D.J.'s move
up one space?"
o Bradlay Wiseman
Muni was perhaps the ultimate bad, full-of-himself
with-no-apparent-justification FM DJ on WNEW-FM ["Where rock
lives!"]. he used to do "Things from England", a great show to parody
because while incredibly interesting exciting things were happening
in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s he totally avoided anything new,
young, relevant by playing things like Rick Wakeman's latest, Emerson
Lake & Palmer's latest, new configurations of all dinosaur bands,
Genesis live Oblivious to all culture, all veracity, all vitality -
the perfect commercial FM radio DJ then.
Send all sound material for airplay and review to:
Wreck This MeSS
Radio 100 / Radio Patapoe
Zeilstraat 23 / II
1075 SB Amsterdam
o 2000± READERS-EYEBALL "LISTENERS" per WEEK*
o "plus another few hundred when it hits the BSI list!" Ezra
o Old playlists archived at <http://www.wfmu.org/~bart/>
o Selected Playlists at http://www.romanapoli.com/black/wreckthismess.html
o Soon, the unveiling of new juggernaut: <http://wreckthismess.com/>
courtesy of Pavement Tulip, a genius stuck in the body of a Polish
skier in Brooklyn's inner denouement.
SDI > SELF DESTRUCTION INSURED >
CONTACT ninplant@... FOR REMOVAL
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