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"Confusion - Part 4 of 5" by Joseph Y. Lee

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  • josephylee@aol.com
    Confused? Seek God. 1 Corinthians 14:33 - Part 4 by Joseph Yosuk Lee I wrote this eleventh testimony in order to show myself that I cannot underestimate Satan.
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 1, 2006
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      Confused? Seek God.
      1 Corinthians 14:33 - Part 4
      by Joseph Yosuk Lee

      I wrote this eleventh testimony in order to show
      myself that I cannot underestimate Satan. (2
      Timothy 2:26) Satan will use all means necessary
      to confuse and hurt me. In fact, I am not alone
      when he already confused the Mormons, Moonies,
      Muslims, and Jehovah’s Witnesses. I used to
      believe in those voices as the Word of God for
      four years when those voices are words of confusion.
      (1 Corinthians 14:33) Before I had a better
      understanding about the Bible, I had decided to go
      to the University of California at Irvine because
      I had thought that I could find my future wife
      there. Although my reasons to go to UCI were wrong,
      I am repenting by rejecting every notion that those
      voices were from God. Incredulous as it may sound, I
      really did hear those voices and really believed
      that those voices were real. As I wrote my eleventh
      testimony, I saw the flaws in what the voices said
      and realized that God did not talk to me.

      After I wrote my eleventh testimony, I wrote the
      Joseph, the Prime Minister of Egypt, Testimony #1
      even though the number eleven comes after the number
      one. Testimony #1 was actually my first publicized
      testimony. I was blessed when other believers were
      being blessed by what I wrote in my first publicized
      testimony. You can say that my eleventh testimony is
      my first testimony and that I really did not show it
      to anyone until now. Christ alleviated through His
      grace while my eleventh testimony initiated the
      beginning stages of my spiritual and mental recovery
      from my illness. When I realized those voices were
      not from God and that I was deceived, my depression
      is diminishing although I am still struggling with
      many sins in my life. As I started to realize what
      God died for me on the cross, I fell more in love
      with Him.

      Christ alone should be sufficient to cure one's
      depression, and my advice to cure one's depression
      is probably not Reformed. However, I can offer only
      a band-aid solution to a huge problem called sin. You
      may not be able to overcome your depression even if
      you take my word of advice. The simplest advice to
      cure one's spiritual depression is to repent. So,
      where can you get the strength to repent? There is
      simply nowhere to get it except from Christ. Anyway,
      if anyone is depressed, my band-aid word of advice
      is that you start praising God. Study the "Five
      Points of Calvinism." Understand that you are God's
      son by adoption. Try to brag what God did for you
      on the cross. Share your faith to other non-
      Christians. Do not be ashamed of the gospel. Tell
      the whole world that you love God and that God
      loves you. Of course, you must have fellowship,
      pray, and read the Bible as well. If you still
      have problems praising God, write down all of
      your sins, confusion, or anger towards God on
      paper, look at yourself, and start repenting
      through your prayers. If you cannot find your
      sins, confusion, or anger toward God, then ask a
      brother or sister to point out your sins,
      confusion, or anger toward God. (James 5:16)

      Confessing your sins through one's prayers may
      be the first step in curing one's depression.
      However, you cannot earn God's common grace
      through your prayers. You can only receive God's
      common grace through His mercy and compassion.
      (Romans 9:15) If you cannot pray a good prayer,
      pray anyway. I never prayed with a pure and clean
      heart. However, God has the right not to hear your
      prayers when you are in sin. (Proverbs 15:29) For
      instance, I prayed to God that I will win three Nobel
      Prizes in physics and that I will marry a very beautiful
      Korean Christian wife everyday for four years. Even
      though I prayed and asked other brothers and sisters
      to pray not according to God's plans, I was really
      blessed anyway through God's mercy. You can say what
      the voices said inspired me to pray a lot harder
      and encouraged me to come closer to God. Thus,
      Satan’s plans in his attempts to destroy my faith
      backfired. God can bless you even though you do not
      know how to pray. For instance, I prayed to God that
      He send me to Stanford, MIT, and Cal-Tech in high
      school as a non-believer. When God answered "no"
      to my prayer, I rejected God. Later on, I came to
      the conclusion that Berkeley was a better school
      for me when God provided two Korean churches there.
      Stanford, MIT, and Cal-Tech did not have a very
      large Korean Christian community from 1989 to 1994.
      I would be content with my life at a point that I
      do not need God if I were accepted to MIT or Stanford.
      Berkeley was the best school for me to become a
      Christian. Of course, you can have more inner peace
      if you pray correctly according to His plans. It is
      better to pray badly than not to pray at all.

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