To a healthy Valentine's Day!
- The Simple Life
I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a row of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
Plants like to be safely tucked in the ground. They need moisture, nutrients, and sunshine to flourish. If any of these are missing, there is usually a problem. A plant without moisture long enough will simply dry up and die. But they will put up a good fight. They may get by, but not really up to their optimum fruition.
Researchers are finding more and more links to health problems and stress in relationships. People and animals are the same. We all need a comfortable environment to grow. We can't flourish where there is stress. Eventually our bodies will begin to shut down, just like plants. As children, we need love, attention, and our basic needs being met. This need carries on into adulthood. When we enter a relationship, we have an inner need to be safe and loved. We may not even realize what we are looking for, but our bodies know. If our needs are not met, some of us learn to take care of ourselves. But we all have an inner desire to be cherished by someone.
If you look at the best and worst traits of your parents or important caregivers, even if your needs were not met, you will likely seek out these traits in relationships. It's uncanny. We usually end up in relationships we were trying to get away from when we left home. Unfinished business can follow us for our lifetime. This causes stress. Problems and sicknesses develop when stress gets too much for us to handle. Some people find healthy or unhealthy outlets for dealing with stress. Too much of anything is not good, as they say. Gambling, overeating, addictions, financial problems, or even hobbies, sports, give us a way to relieve the pressures of our lives. Internalizing stress is what leads to illness. Happy relationships lead to longevity, relatively good health, and rewarding careers. Just think healthy plants = right environment.
If your partner becomes upset, rather than becoming upset yourself, try listening. How can you help meet their needs? What are they really asking for?
Sally was always complaining that Tom spent too much time working. Tom usually resisted Sally's request for more time. But since that wasn't working, he started finding ways to spend more time at home. The stress levels went down. Tom knew that Sally's dad had often been on business trips and he eventually left for good. This was Sally's core fear- that Tom would leave. When Tom helped Sally feel safe, they were both happier.
Think of your own childhood, and your partners. What might have been missing? If you are in a relationship, why not make it the best? Invest in it and it will pay you back. A box of chocolates or flowers for Valentine's day is really nice, but it takes more work than that to have a great relationship.
Just like rain for a plant, this might be a key to a happier, healthier relationship.
For a really great read about all kinds of relationships, including parenting, "Getting the Love You Want", by Harville Hendrix.
We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways - the ways we react and behave when we love someone.~John Gray
Healthy and Simple Grilled Chicken Salad
Cooked chopped chicken breast or leftover chicken meat (cook in some chicken broth, instead of oil)
Cook with green pepper, onion and other veggies, as desired.
Toss onto your salad with a low-fat dressing of your choice.(low fat is better than no fat! Good fats help us retain the vitamins from the salad)
Add chopped hard boiled eggs, bacon bits, croutons, and veggies for a real balanced meal. Yum!
Can't you just feel spring in the air? The other day it was only in the 30's, but I swear, I felt the sun and a breeze that just felt like a bit of spring. I wouldn't be surprised when we see a Robin. Who knows? Maybe the groundhog was right this year. He has to be right once in a while, doesn't he?
Keeping it simple,