Teriaki Steak, Gods and Lawn
- Of Lawns and God
GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and seeds for songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut
it, sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they
fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.!
ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a real stupid movie about ...
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis. Author unknown-
STEAK TERIYAKI I tried this recipe the other night, and it was excellent! You might want to give it a try the next time you are grilling out!
1 ½ lb flank steak
¾ C vegetable oil
1/3 C soy sauce
2 T Worcestershire sauce
1 T mustard
1 ¼ t salt
½ t black pepper
¼ C vinegar
¾ t dried parsley flakes
¼ t garlic powder
¼ C lemon juice
¼ C chopped onion
¼ C ketchup
1 tbsp sugar
Combine all ingredients except meat in a saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring continuously. Let cool. While it is cooling, score the meat (cut lightly in a crisscross pattern at about 1 inch intervals) and place in a shallow baking pan (or large zip-lock bag). After marinade has cooled, pour over meat and refrigerate for at least 4, but 24 hours is optimum, turning once. Pre-heat broiler or grill. Put steak on broiler pan or grill. Broiler should be about 3-4 inches from the heat. One inch steak should broil for 8 minutes on each side for rare and 10 minutes on each side for medium. When steak is done, slice it across the grain at oblique angles to the grain into ½ inch slices. Add pan drippings to marinade (if using broiler) and heat to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes or until hot. Serve as gravy over rice. Note: I added only 2 T oil, the rest of the ¾ cup of water. I didn't want to add that much oil. It seemed just as good to me.
Keeping it Simple,