315Family Maps or Trances
- Jul 20, 2010The simple life
Harvesting, something any gardener looks forward to, is not always a simple task. Oh, sure, picking is not that hard, when it comes to one little tiny grape tomato, or onion. But before long, there are baskets full! But each juicy veggie or fruit is appreciated. Until they start to accumulate. And not always at a desired rate. What to do with the excess? Reminds me of the "Lucy" rerun where she and Ethel were working in the chocolate factory. Remember that one? The conveyor belt kept speeding up, and well, the girls couldn't hardly keep up. First they popped a couple in their mouths and then, the darn thing got faster. It didn't take long to realize they just weren't cut out for wrapping chocolates.
But the garden is a bit different. Especially in the Zucchini department! First there is that one single solitary green fruit you have been waiting 8 months for. And the next day, there is a bushel basket full. But, not all the neighbors, thankfully, have gardens. And they do love the fresh veggies! So, all is not lost. Why waste it? The funny thing is when the neighbors stop over to ask if you need any Zucchini!
Another challenge is finding new recipes, besides the old standbys. But, of course, the old standbys are the best, aren't they? Can you just taste that first ripe ear of corn, boiled to perfection, drizzled with butter? Or a pancake with fresh picked blueberries? There is nothing better! Now that is summer all wrapped up! But every time you pick that "first" of the year, be it a bean or a tomato, you feel like you just won the lottery. And it all starts with a tiny seed.
The great part about getting older is when someone finds out how old you are, but can't believe it! And when someone asks you what's the secret, you have to think, well, no smoking, goes without saying. But it's finding happiness, isn't it? I've known 80 year olds that just glow! Being totally happy with who you are. And if you aren't, well find that person.
M. Scott Peck, who wrote some very great books, such as "The Road Less Traveled" defines a well-lived life as discipline. Discipline is the tools that help us deal with the inevitable pain and frustrations we meet on life's path. Temper tantrums are for 2 year olds, but we see adults throw them all the time. The four basic tools are, waiting for the best things (remember the `marshmallow test' from a few weeks ago?), becoming responsible, embracing honesty (and a lot of people don't like this), and balance.
Ben Franklin said, "Those things that hurt, instruct". Hmmmm. But we sidestep our pain and miss the great lessons. Ultimately, it all comes down to love. Love for a family, a garden, or a dream. How much will you invest in the quality of your own life? And it takes these four tools to find love.
Some call it script, others trance, Peck calls them Maps. That is the story we tell ourselves about our histories, from the time we are small. We can get too involved following our map, that we don't even realize our map is not correct, and leads to a steep cliff.
Maps can be family patterns. One family had a mother who had a very difficult childhood. She lived in several foster homes, but was yanked out to go live with her real mother, who she barely knew. Then her father died. When she married, she felt very unloved and her husband couldn't prove to her that she was loved. They divorced and she hated her ex. after that. Her youngest son at home, heard all the wrath against his dad. When he married a few years later, he was unable to show any love to his wife. He had been 'taught' to hate his spouse by his wifes example. Inevitably, he divorced. He was very verbally and otherwise abusive to his wife. Now their children are marriage age. Will they be able to love? Have they learned to be abused? One of these maps is likely what they have learned. Will they be able to break free from their family map?
A girl I know keeps going out with real losers. She gets hurt over an over. But when friends make suggestions, (to save her pain), she simply ignores them. Her map is telling her that "surely this is the one", but she never lets herself get to know them as a friend.
A young man, who is a father won't stay out of jail. Is his map leading down the wrong path? He's definitely not telling himself the truth. Most people I know manage to stay out of jail!
Don't be afraid to redraw your map!
Zucchini rounds: Slice zucchini about 1/4 inch thick. Heat Canola oil in a frying pan. Make an egg wash with an egg and 1/4 cup milk. Mix flour, bread crumbs, cracker crumbs, your favorite seasonings such as dill, garlic, and some salt. Mix together and dip your zucchini rounds in egg wash and then coating. Fry until golden brown. Enjoy!
Keeping it Simple,