1-Just a Mom-
- May 7, 2003Being a mom means never having to say you are sorry .you said `no'.
You are absolutely right. I said `no' when you wanted me to say
yes. I really wanted to say yes, but I couldn't do it. I'm a mom,
and that's my job.
I know it's no fun. Wouldn't it be nice to ride through life on a
cloud of approval, no matter what? God made me to be a mom first and
not always a friend. You see, a friend is someone about your size,
who lives down the street. Friends are for playing with and having
fun. I try to do that most of the time, but sometimes I can't. You
may not believe it, but I like to be a fun mom. Taking you terrific
places, splashing in the lake, laughing with you, baking you yummy
cookies these are the things I would do forever, if I could. But
then along came a surprise, and believe me, it was a surprise for
both of us!
You were just beginning to crawl. It was so amazing! You had
changed in just a few months from a tiny little helpless bundle into
a tiny freight train of energy. I had to watch every move you
made. It was hard, but it was my job to keep you out of danger.
One day, you reached your chubby little finger toward the electric
socket on the wall. Calmly but firmly I said `no'. I never gave
it a thought, but the word just came from my mouth like it was
always hiding in there somewhere, waiting to come out! Your happy
little face looked up at me with a big grin and you turned back,
reaching your little finger back to the socket. A little louder I
said `no' Just as much a surprise to me, was the fact that in your
few short months on this earth somehow you knew that you weren't
going to like the word `no'. How did you know that? You screwed up
your little face and started crying, but you still turned back to
the socket. I went over and picked you up, moved a chair in front
of that socket, distracted you with a toy and proceeded to check out
all the sockets in the room. Back then you had a short memory. It
was pretty funny, actually. As soon as I sat you down, your crying
dried up as if you wondered what you were upset about. From that
moment, I haven't been able to stop looking for any possible danger
that might be lurking.
Little did I know then, that the battles some large some small
were just beginning. As you grew older, we began to wrestle over
things that might not be good for you. Too much candy, not enough
sleep, bathtime and homework the list grew longer as did you. I
taught you to look both ways before crossing the street, that
smoking is not good for you, and all bad accidents ultimately came
from alcohol or drugs. (Ha!) You were a great learner, but mostly I
just remember the fun times. And there were so many of them.
And then you became a teenager. All my `nos' could still not
be `yeses', even though I also learned that too many `nos' and you
would never learn from your own mistakes. I learned to step in only
when necessary. And, as I watched you learn to be responsible, my
no's grew few. One day you came and asked me if you could go
somewhere with your friends. I realized that you didn't even need
to ask anymore. At that moment, I realized that you had become an
adult. I knew I could trust you to make good decisions.
And so now you know. The secret behind my meanness. When danger
flashed, there was only one word that came to mind. "NO". So, yes
I'm guilty. Guilty of using the "n" word. So, yes I am guilty, but
no I am not sorry. You've turned out pretty good. There's just one
thing. One of these days I will hear you say "no" to your own child
and then, finally, I will do a little happy dance and know that you
finally understand why moms have to say "no" once in a while. Cuz
we just love you so much.
* * *
`If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not
really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.' ~
~ Gail Sheehy
`If I had a flower for every time my child made me smile I would be
walking in an endless garden' ~ unknown
"Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in
every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take." ~~ Unknown
Mother's Day Gift Ideas:
Most moms would rather spend a day with you. Treat her to lunch and
just have a good visit, or go someplace that is her choice.
Instead of a plant that won't last, buy a rose bush or other plant
that will last for years.
Take the kids and offer to do a job for mom that she needs help
doing. Have a garage sale for her, or do some spring cleaning. If
I know her, she'll be baking some brownies for when you are done!
If mom is in a nursing home, take a journal, so when you and others
visit you may write down some memories and how much you appreciate
the things mom has done, so she can read them when you are not
there. That will brighten many of her days.
Keeping Mother's Day Simple,