Who Do I Love?
Realization: Who Do I Love?From the window of the bus at the red light, I see the back of his frame walking away after dropping off... And a tinge of sadness sweeps over me... he has slimmed down considerably. Surprised that I did not notice this earlier, I discover I do not understand him enough, that I do not understand my love for him enough. Yes, I'm talking about worldly love. Why I love him? Is it his smile that I love? Or the way he talks, the way he walks? Is it that look special in his eyes, his words and little acts of devotion? I can't narrow it to any one of the above. I guess it's the combination- that make him lovable to me.
It makes me wonder... whether I would still love him, if he no longer smiled the same smile, or if he no longer walked and talked the way he does... Sometimes I think I will, sometimes not. Am I a fickle lover? Or am I simply being honest... with an honesty that most fail to express? I guess both of us are afraid. Afraid of inevitable change- change that will change the one I love- into a complete stranger. We can never hold hands with the same person ever again- because we both change in the instant... physically and mentally. Given enough distance and time apart, do we all not change into totally unrecognisable people? If we do not accept change and the truth of the unsubstantiality of self, we only suffer.
Am I then, only in love with an image that endears, that I cling on to? I wish to express these concerns to him. And perhaps he will understand exactly what I mean. We might then realise that we can only love each other in the moment- because we change every moment. And because we realise this, we will treasure each other in the moment, knowing it can never return. May we cherish our togetherness without attachment- for what comes together will part. When we realise that there is no fixed person to hold on to, our love will be real- with no preconceptions, with no strings attached. He is not who he was, just like he is not who he will be- he is himself, as unique in the moment as I am now. When you love someone, set him free- free to change. Yes, I'm talking about spiritual love. Are we all not learning to love spiritually? It is not wrong to be in worldly love, as long as it transforms into greater love "in good time." True love is then, not holding on to someone if we really care- it is letting them go- to give them the freedom to transform... into greater beings- like a bird letting her young fly uninhibited into the boundless skies. "In good time"... am I making good time? How much time do we have to learn, in this life, to truly love? Aren't we all running out of time? Seeing his frame fade into the dusk and distance, a second tinge of sadness sweeps over me... I hope we make it. Really hope.
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