Even If Others are at Fault, Your Unhappiness is Your Fault
- TheDailyEnlightenment.comWeekly 30.08.07
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Click here if you do not see pictures____________________________________________________Realisation: Even If Others are at Fault, Your Unhappiness is Your Fault
The swiftest way to change the world is to change your mind. - stonepeace
Your train is late. That "makes" you unhappy. You blame the world for starting your day on a low note. You look around, and notice that none of the commuters look as frustrated as you feel. Surely, many of them will be late because of the train's tardiness? It strikes you that if all are facing the same situation, what differs is the state of mind. But surely, you are not to blame? You analyse who is to blame. It cannot be the train itself. It might be the driver's fault. But you realise that playing the blame game doesn't make you any happier. And if it isn't the driver's fault, it must be your fault for making yourself unhappy. Even if you "prove" the whole world to be at fault, it doesn't make you any happier.
The foolish think they are victims of circumstances, while the wise see how the foolish victimise themselves with the circumstances. It is not that others make you unhappy, but your thoughts about what they say and do (or not) that makes you so. So, unhappiness comes from your thoughts. The good news - you control your thoughts. You can change your mind about how you perceive things. If you wish others to treat you well, you have to first treat yourself well. This would include not imagining others can ever "make" you unhappy. This also means that others cannot give you happiness you have to decide to be happy. Happiness depends on how you condition your mind internally; not external conditions.
The Buddha described himself to be like a lotus though growing within mud, which symbolises adversities and defilements, he blossomed untainted. It is alright to try to change others (or the situation) for the better but you should always be the priority change yourself first. If not, not only might you fail to change others, you will be unhappy when others remain unchanged. But if you have changed yourself, you will be happier already even if others try to "make" you unhappy. Your life in the moment reflects your mind. Change your mind and your life changes instantly. For instance, a late train is a perfect opportunity to plan the day or simply relax. Why let it frustrate you? -Shen Shi'an
The foolish hold the world responsible for their happiness.
The compassionate hold themselves responsible for the world's happiness.. - stonepeace
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