313Being a Survivor of Survivor Guilt
- Feb 29, 2008
Realisation: Being a Survivor of Survivor Guilt
May great strength, not great weakness, arise from great grief. - stonepeace
A mother is suffering from survivor guilt. She had sent her young daughter for a regular swimming lesson... not knowing it would be the last time. At first, she blamed the teacher for not taking care of her. But as the instructor explained, her rebellious daughter had strayed off secretly from the class to the deep end - out of playfulness. This led her to blame herself, for not having disciplined her well enough to listen to the teacher's instructions. Is this love?
She had forgotten her motivation of urging her child to sign up for the class in the first place. She felt that it was important to learn to swim from a young age - to prevent any possible mishap of accidental drowning. Wallowing in misery for her loss, she focuses on the bitter irony, though she should recall her pure intentions instead. She had expected the swimming lessons to discipline her, to curb her rebelliousness, while letting her play too. This is love.
Whether karmic or not, what happened was an accident, that no one wished for - not the mother, instructor or the daughter. If there was anyone able to prevent it, he or she would. I have no words to console the mother, except for these - "If your daughter is still around, she would want to say sorry for her mischief. But more than that, it saddens her to see you grieve endlessly for her - for she wants you to be well and happy." This is love. Shen Shi'an
Rejecting loss rejects peace.
Accepting loss accepts peace. - stonepeace
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