- Q: Why don't the UNC Tar Heels serve ice in their team's drink
on the sidelines?One day, a hubby decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped up to the washing machine,
he shouted to his wife, "Honey, what setting do I use
on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied...1) Sometimes I am square,
Sometimes I am not.
help to keep you dry,
and sometimes to keep
you from getting hot.
I am in the color you
want me to be,
And am there for the
whole world to see.
What am I?
2) Two people were crossing a bridge. One was
the father of the other ones' son.Beware of the third generation! Yeah! That's an intriguing phenomenon that often takes place in a family business. The first generation starts it with nothing but a dream. They work long hours, they sacrifice, and they keep their vision alive...In the early fourteenth century, Geoffrey Chaucer penned The Canterbury Tales, a sometimes bawdy, often hilarious, and always sharply critical satire on the religious folk of his day. The "tales" of the pilgrims make up the content of the story...Plays Consecutively - one after the other!
Watch in FULL Screen!!!A UNC student's English prof paid a visit to his house one day. When the student
opened the door, he asked "Are your father
and mother in, Mr. Morton?"
"They was in, but they is out." he answered.
The UNC English prof. gasped...Ever hear about the UNC student who
couldn't learn to water ski because she
couldn't find a...This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with
the stress that builds up during the day.Plays Consecutively - one after the other!
- The UNC math professor said, "Now class, we know
there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour,
24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell
me how many seconds there are in a year?"
All the students looked baffled by the question except
Rufus, who raises...
- One night a UNC student found a magic lamp,
picked it up, rubbed it and a Genie appeared.
"Your wish is my command," said the Genie.
"Well, there is one thing," the UNC student said.
"Just name it," said the Genie.
"It's those UNC jokes in 'Thought & Humor'...There was this truck driver who had to deliver 5 penguins to
the N.C. Zoo. As he was driving his truck through North Carolina,
his truck breaks down near Chapel Hill...Calling on ALL American Christians to be in Prayer Tomorrow Night & during each Presidential Debate that Satan will be Hindered & the One True God of the Bible will be Honored in our great country - One Nation Under God! We just might see a big Miracle!!!
Pray that Americans' Eyes will be opened...Even Better Full Screen!Is humanity just a colossal practical joke?
How do you begin the journey of faith?
How can substitutionary atonement
possibly be just?
Professor Theophilus offers some answers...A young man was talking to a university student
that he had just met, and asked for her name.
"I don't want to tell you," she said, "I'm named
after both of my parents, and it's kind of embarrassing."
"Well, what could be so bad about that?" the gentleman asked...When the man came home, his wife was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she
is on vacation on the other side of the world?"
the man asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed
to you arrived...1) I say everything I hear to others around.
I'm not an animal, nor part of the human race.
I will, immediately, repeat after you;
But only if my tail is in place...A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's
attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?"
"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.
"Well", replies the Sheriff...The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold
Since you went away the days grow long
And soon Ill hear old winters song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall...
- A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop
where two English gents are waiting...Chocolate candy bars contain milk, which
is dairy. So...Once I got angry at the
chef of an Italian restaurant.
So I gave him a...A Future Democrat Politician!
All of us, at one time or another, have experienced
the strange physiological reaction of zygomatic
stimulation and subsequent larynx strain.
This strain upsets the respiratory system, which
results in deep, noisy gasps...1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between
three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that
haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband...Plays for 8 Hours!A UNC student walks by a travel agency and notices
a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!"...A UNC grad stopped by a pizza shop one night and ordered
a medium pizza...An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's...
- SICKNESS: We will no longer accept...A man by the name of Tates designed the very first
compass for large-scale production and sale in the
United States...A professor at UNC wanted to take his wife some -
place special to celebrate their anniversary so...Match the words in the left-hand
column with the correct definition
in the right-hand column...
1. abstruse ............. A. Things wanted and needed.
2. outre .................... B. Enthusiastic approval.
3. nothous .............. C. Clumsy; awkward; unskillful; inept.
4. vitiate ...........Watch in FULL Screen!Calling on ALL American Christians to be in Prayer Today...People you do not want to hear say "OOPS!"A civil servant is badly hurt, after falling
down the stairs at city hall. He is taken to
the hospital where he remains in a coma
for several days...Q: Why are UNC students immune to Mad Cow Disease?A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter
over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it,
with trembling hands...1) It is a part of us, and then replaced.
It escapes our bodies to a better place.
The world becomes its sizable home.
Its passions unrestrained, the planet it roams.
What is it?
2) In an unabridged dictionary, what 3 letter word has
the most definitions?
3) Len always has it before...
- Two older UNC grads meet on the street
for the first time in several weeks and one
asked the other...A UNC student walks into a dentist's surgery and says,
"Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm...Sesquipedaliphobianism: The fear of long...A baby penguin walks into a bar and says...I ran away once as a kid. I was mad about something ten
year-olds get mad about--mad enough that I had to...(This Video Blocked In Many Countries But Available During Appeal Process!)The Coast Guard received a mayday message
from a group of UNC students on a Thanksgiving
boating holiday : "Help! We're in the water!"1) I have two heads but only one body.
The more still I stand, the faster I run.
What am I?
2) I give you a group of three.
One is sitting down,
and will never get up.
The second eats as much
as is given to him,
yet is always hungry.
The third goes away
and never returns...Dear Professor,
'Thought & Humor' is an
Amusement Park of Ideas!
Everywhere I click - there's
something new & interesting!
Thanks for your Blog & your
- When you write copy, you own the right of copyright to the
copy you write, if the copy is right...Q: What do you call 10 UNC sophomores
..... standing ear to ear?Plays Consecutively - one after the other!
Watch in FULL Screen!!!'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce
of a small town, obviously desperate...An Obama supporter goes out to her
mail box, looks in, closes the door and
goes back into her house...UNC Cop: "Are you going to come quietly...Due to heavier voting than expected...
- There was this fellow from UNC who had a flat tire.
He pulled off...Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.
2. If it's on sale, you need it.
3. Never ask...Employment applications always
ask...Did you know that
dolphins are so
intelligent that...1) Can you decipher this famous nursery rhyme?
A triumvirate of murine rodents totally devoid of ophthalmic
acuity was observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit
of an agriculturalist's uxorial adjunct...The origins of the jukebox
can be traced back to
November 23, 1889 and an
entrepreneur named...Plays for 8 Hours!
- "Doctor!" whined the
UNC student, "I keep
seeing...Doctor, Doctor My
little boy has just
swallowed...How tiny can a
bird get?1) Why is tennis scored 15, 30, 40 rather than the more
traditional 1 point, 2 points, 3 points of offer sports?
2) What is the unusual state gem of Washington?
3) How high was the 1,340 foot long wall that gave New York's
Wall Street its name?
4) On which holiday are the greatest number...Most of us have heard or read at least part of Abraham Lincoln's Thanksgiving proclamation at some point. But even those who have heard it many times can overlook two important aspects of this important document.
The first is its timing: October 3, 1863.Why was the UNC
the ABCs?Dr. Willis finished examining
Matilda and went into the
hallway to talk to her
husband Bernie...Match the words in the left-hand
column with the correct definition
in the right-hand column.
1. effrontery ......... A. Sharp, biting, or acid
2. machination ..... B. Thoroughgoing; downright
3. imprimatur ....... C. Familiar talk
4. acerbic ................ D. The act of plotting
- A UNC grad placed the
following ad in the paper...Enjoy 65 Different Music Videos Played Consecutively & Unintermittedly! Be sure & watch in Full Screen & 3D!!! Fantastic Background Music but only works on your computer - not your mobile device! You’ll have to ask YouTube why this is!Two newlywed UNC
grads were driving
As they were ap -
proaching the town...Match the words in the left-hand
column with the correct definition
in the right-hand column.
1. aggress .......... A. Bantering.
2. spurious ......... B. To make a soft, low sighing sound.
3. placate ........... C. To scold or criticize harshly.
4. esurient ......... D. Not genuine...A UNC grad had been
missing from work
for over a week when...If you stop believing what your
professor told you had to be true
and if you start thinking for yourself
you may come to some conclusions
you hadn't expected. You may find...Why Politics Is NOT The Answer:
1) Republicans are wimps!
2) They'd rather get their pics in the beltway media than honor their pledges to their constituants!
3) Peoples' hearts have to be changed for our System of Government established by our forefathers to work!Plays Consecutively - one after the other!
Watch in FULL Screen!!!Friendly reminder of what a Commander in Chief looks like...
- December 14, 2012
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream
of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree?
How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking
of me this way...
- A UNC lineman was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
He wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way,
but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors
were asking...What do you know about nitrates?Simplify Life!
Make Official Winter Months:
Dec - Feb!
Spring: March - May!
Summer: June - August!
Autumn: Sept - Nov!
Ban School in Summer Months
& Quit Changing Clocks Twice/yr.Almost a third of young American
Muslims support homicide bombings
according to a new poll...Want to test your Christmas knowledge?
Here is a quiz to test your knowledge
of Christmas traditions, popular culture,
the Bible, and other aspects of the holiday
with these simple questions. So put on your
thinking cap and take a tour. Enjoy yourself!
Quiz your friends!A UNC grad's wife clipped
a job listing out of the
paper for him...Dearest Friends,
Do not seek revenge...The hard working staff at 'Thought & Humor's
award winning blog...
- Is it my imagination,
or do...A UNC student bought a brand new car and decided
to drive to Charlotte from Chapel Hill...A newspaper is a thing that people used to...Plays Consecutively - one after the other!
- Waiter to UNC student:
"How do you want me
to slice your pizza?When you go into a hotel
you always see..."All scholars shall live religious, godly,
and blameless lives according to the
rules of God's Word, diligently reading
the Holy Scriptures, the fountain of light
and truth; and constantly attend upon
all the duties of religion, both in public
and secret."We're all familiar with names like George Washington,
Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams and John Hancock.
These men, along with others, were our forefathers
and the founders of our nation. They signed the
Declaration of Independence and wrote the Constitution.
They won the Revolutionary War...Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its
way through the Internet’s highways and byways to your
idiosyncratic computer...Be Sure & Watch In FULL Screen!A UNC grad is on board a small two-seater...