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***Thought & Humor*** - July 5, 2006 A.D. - I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

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  • ***Professor Howdy***
    Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper featuring Thought & Humor by Howdy ************************ Two recently married UNC grads were delighted when their long
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 5, 2006
      Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper 
      'Thought & Humor' 
                                               by Howdy

      Two recently married UNC grads were
      delighted when their long wait to adopt
      a baby came to an end. The adoption center
      called and told them that there was a wonderful
      Russian baby boy available. The couple accepted
      him without hesitation....
             Updated frequently during the day!!!
      Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
      there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...
      A UNC* sophomore clandestinely goes into the
      doctor's office and says that her body hurts
      wherever she touches it.
      *Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
      humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
      & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
      of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
      of your choice from the list below:

      1) French university students
      2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
      3) Any accredited high school or middle school
      4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
      5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
      6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
      to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      The Dream Boss
         Some of the nasty words in the English language are described as four-letter words.
      It's probably not a coincidence that "boss" is a four-letter word. You sure get a lot of
      complaining about the boss. Usually the boss writes a Want Ad when an employee is
      needed. But what if the employee got to write an ad when the boss was needed? What
      would you put in there: "Boss Wanted: Fair, Consistent, Caring, Listener, Interested in
      his employees, Impartial, Approachable." Hey, hold it! You want it? You got it!

         Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Colossians 3, beginning at verse
      22. It's addressed to slaves. Now right away we're talking about a less than ideal working
      environment here. Today it would be employees; although maybe you feel like the word
      slave still fits. "Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when
      their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the
      Lord." Now Paul talks here about two motivators for doing good work. He says, number
      one, maybe the boss is watching; and secondly, to win their favor because you want to
      impress them. Then in verse 23, he talks about a working lifestyle, "Whatever you do" -
      little, big, glory, no glory, pleasant, unpleasant - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your
      heart." He's describing a one hundred percenter here, but here's their motive, "...as working
      for the Lord not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord
      as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

          Now who's your boss where you work? Well, if you know the Lord, your boss is the Lord
      Christ. Work for Him because He's the one who's watching all the time. He's the one to impress.
      He's the rewarder. This is pretty radical stuff! It means you are going to work with all your heart
      no matter what the environment and no matter what kind of superior you have. Your work is
      going to be for the approval of Jesus, looking past your human boss right over his or her
      shoulder and seeing Jesus there.

          So that means if you're cooking french fries, you're going to say, "I'm going to be the best
      french fry cooker they ever had." I'm going to be the best algebra student this algebra teacher
      has ever seen. Whether I get the best grades or not, I'm going to work as hard as anybody they
      ever saw. I'm going to be the best shipping clerk, or checkout person, or vice president, or
      teacher they've ever seen. You'll be known as their hardest worker; one who's on time, who
      keeps their commitments, who doesn't cut corners, who finishes what they start, who goes
      the extra mile. Not for them. (No, you're not working for the company. See, that's your secret.)
      You're not working for your superior. You realize that Jesus cares about how you work, and
      this is an offering to Him.

          You get your paycheck from your human boss and maybe a nice bonus occasionally.
      Wait till you see the reward you're going to get from your real boss. Starting now, and then
      ultimately forever, it is from the Lord, the Bible says, that you will receive your inheritance.
      That's the biggest paycheck of all - your real reward. He's the One you want to please. He's
      the One you want to impress. He's the One you're doing it all for, and when it's for Him, you
      do it with everything you've got. When you work for Jesus Christ, you work with all your heart
      because you've got the Dream Boss.                   - -  Ron Hutchcraft
      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      To Be Free -
      How Much
      Freedom Is Left?

      The Fourth of July—a day on which we celebrate our liberty—is a good time
      to ask, what is the state of religious freedom today?

      Let's see. In New York last month, the owners of a private skating rink were
      warned by the state's Division of Human Rights to stop holding a Christian
      skating event on Sundays. It allegedly discriminated against non-Christians.

      In Iowa, as part of his ruling against Prison Fellowship and the InnerChange
      Freedom Initiative, a federal judged grossly mischaracterized the orthodox
      beliefs of evangelicals (such as the bodily resurrection of Jesus). He said
      these beliefs are hostile to "many Christians." Then he ordered the
      InnerChange program in Iowa shut down.

      And in Boston, Catholic Charities was recently forced out of the adoption
      business because it would not, for doctrinal reasons, agree to place
      children with homosexuals.

      This hostility towards religious practice would have shocked America's
      Founders. They understood that freedom is a gift of God, made possible only
      when societies recognize God's authority.

      Two hundred and thirty years ago, our Founders bravely declared their
      independence in one of the most eloquent documents ever written, the
      Declaration of Independence. It was a ringing call to freedom—not only for
      the American colonists, but for people the world over. But what few remember
      is that our IN-dependence declared that day is predicated on our DE-pendence
      upon God.

      The Declaration's first lines refer to "the Laws of Nature and Nature's
      God." The Founders also declared their "firm reliance on the protection of
      divine Providence." And in the most stirring lines of this document, they
      wrote, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
      equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable
      rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

      But these truths are far from being self-evident to many elites today. For
      50 years, they've tried to scrub religion out of public life. Even to speak
      of God's authority is deemed intolerant.

      This is madness. Thomas Jefferson, himself a Deist, understood that
      political independence could rest only upon human dependence upon a higher
      authority, whatever one might call that authority—God, or Providence, or the

      Today we are engaged in a clash of civilizations and a noble mission in
      Iraq, not to conquer, but to liberate—to give Iraqis what President Bush
      calls "God's gift of human freedom." But we cannot export something we don't
      have. If we don't see freedom as God's gift, we will have great difficulty
      establishing free societies around the world—or, for that matter, hanging
      onto our own freedom. As Rodney Stark writes in his brilliant book, The
      Victory of Reason, our ideas about democracy and equality stem from the
      Christian understanding of man created in God's image.

      And that's why freedom has flourished only in those societies where citizens
      have embraced Judeo-Christian understandings of human dignity and God-given

      We do have much to celebrate and be grateful for this Fourth of July. But we
      must also be vigilant and defend against attacks on religious freedom that
      could undermine the very liberty we celebrate.
       BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
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      Not Even One
      It is fascinating to see the increasing role of forensic science in solving
      crimes.  DNA can be recovered in anything from a few skin cells to a licked
      postage stamp.  Forensic scientists can establish an association between a
      suspect and the crime scene with only an eye lash or single strand of
      hair.  It appears we leave traces of our presence where ever we go. 

      Interestingly enough, your hair not only tells people that you have been
      there, it also tells your story--or at least provides some noteworthy
      details to that story.  Scientists have discovered that your hair can
      divulge significant habits and particulars of your lifestyle: what you
      eat, where you live, if you smoke or drink, if you are of Asian or
      European decent.  And a single hair can keep records for months,
      if not years, depending on its length.    

      When my mother first told me that God knew the number of hairs on my head
      I was thoroughly amazed at the thought of it.  The number of hairs on my
      head was something I didn't know about myself; it was something no one
      else seemed to know about me either.  This meant that someone knew me
      better than my mom or my grandma.  It meant that someone had the
      capacity--and the aspiration--to know me and all of my details. 

      Even as I looked at this promise quite literally, it was at once both
      comforting and troubling.  When I brushed my hair and caused several
      strands to fall out was I making work for Him?  How often did He have to
      recount them?  And why did God care how many hairs I had anyway?
      Certainly it was one detail that He could overlook.

      Then sometime later I was given the rest of Jesus's words uttered that
      day:  "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  Yet not one of them is
      forgotten by God.  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
      Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows" (Luke 12:6-7).
      Strand of hair or simple sparrow, worry, fear, or dream, God does not
      overlook even one. 

      That God knows the number of hairs on our heads is still a thought at
      which we do well to wonder.  Wrapped up tightly within such knowledge is
      the great and fearful truth about who we are praying to when our eyes grow
      heavy with sleep, who walks beside us through shadowy valleys and streams
      of still waters, who hears our groaning when we don't know what we mean.
      God knows us more specifically and more effectively than we know
      ourselves--a thought that reminds us He is Father, a detail that holds
      both immeasurable love and great consequence.  He knows not only the
      stories told in each strand of your hair but every detail of who you are:
      the desires of your heart, the worries you carry, the questions you don't
      know how to ask.  In his perfect love our fears are cast aside and we are
      given not only reason to trust, but a will to obey.

      According to the Natural History Museum of London, the average person has
      up to 150,000 hairs on his or her head.  He who knows exactly where you
      stand in that average knit you together in your mother's womb and knows
      each word on your tongue before it is formed.  Like the psalmist at this
      thought we wonder.  "What is man that you care for him, the son of man
      that you think of him?  He is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting
      shadow" (144:3-4).  In the echoing of that question across time the promise
      of Christ is also heard:  "I tell you the truth, whoever acknowledges me
      before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels
      of God" (Luke 12:8).  Not even one of them will be forgotten.   

      Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias
      International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
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      There is no doubt that Dan Brown*, armed with his brand of postmodern
      historical skepticism, has blatantly and deliberately misinformed his
      readers about the history of Christianity.  Among many other obvious
      wrongdoings, he has committed the serious sin of blaspheming against
      the person of Christ.           *Da Vinci Code Author
       -  I'Ching Thomas - associate director of training at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Singapore.  
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