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***Thought & Humor*** Jan. 28, 2005 Edition - Please Forward To Any Who Need A Good Laugh

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  • Howdy Your-Friend
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    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 27, 2005
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      Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper
      featuring 'Thought & Humor'
      by Howdy


      Go to this site on the web for great humor, cartoons,
      thought & riddles - updated daily:

      http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/



      ===============




      This Week's Issue Is Packed With:

      1) Great Humor
      2) Thought
      3) Riddles
      4) Word Puzzles
      5) Letters
      6) Trivia
      7) Much More

      (See below)


      ===============



      From Your BLOG:
      (updated often - usually hourly)


      Thursday, January 27, 2005

      The Three Fastest Means Of Communication


      The three fastest means of communication are:

      the telephone, the television, and...

      Funny punchline at: http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/
      (Warning: not politically correct)


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:32 AM

      Got Milk

      Funny picture at: http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:26 AM

      A Bicycle


      A bicycle can't stand on its own
      because it is ...

      Funny punchline at: http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:16 AM

      Farmer Brown - UNC Grad


      A local newspaper was doing a story about
      how housing developments were eating up
      farmland, putting the livelihood of local
      farmers in jeopardy. They interviewed
      Arthur Brown, a well-known and respected
      farmer who lived on the outskirts of town
      and a graduate of UNC. He had received
      numerous high-dollar offers for on
      particular field which bordered a nearby
      housing development.

      The photographer took a picture of Farmer
      Brown standing on the controversial piece
      of land. The picture appeared in the story
      and mentioned Farmer Brown as....

      Funny punchline at: http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/




      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:10 AM
      Wednesday, January 26, 2005

      The Evil That Men Do

      In the wake of the tsunami that claimed more than
      220,000 lives, some people were asking hard questions.
      Faced with such devastation, they wanted to know,
      how was it possible to believe in a good, all-powerful
      God?

      Now stories are leaking out about what's going on in
      the aftermath of the tsunami. The reports are sketchy
      and anecdotal so far, but they already have people
      asking another, equally important, question: Is it
      possible to believe in the goodness of man?

      MORE: http://xrl.us/evxe


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 9:39 PM

      Root Beer Please



      A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
      under his arm and says: "A root beer, please,
      and one for the road."


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 4:03 PM

      Find A Doc



      Have you moved into a new neighborhood
      and need to find a physician nearby? Do you
      want to find a specialist for a loved one across
      the country, or do you need driving directions
      to your physician's office? The WebMD
      Physician Directory is your answer.

      Search for a physician by name, medical specialty,
      distance from your home, HMO plan, hospital
      affiliation, or other criteria.

      The WebMD Physician Directory is compiled
      and regularly updated by The Little Blue BookTM,
      a WebMD company. What's more, all information
      in the directory is confirmed directly with the source --
      the doctors themselves. The award-winning Little
      Blue Book is well-known in the medical industry
      for its accurate, up-to-date physician information.


      MORE: http://my.webmd.com/pages/dir/toc.asp


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 3:34 PM

      Changing Cartoon







      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 2:16 PM

      Famous Quotes


      "America was born a Christian nation. America was born
      to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
      which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
      Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
      of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
      America free and pure they will make their own spirits
      free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
      --President Woodrow Wilson

      For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
      expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
      God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
      miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
      ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
      wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
      the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
      --President George W. Bush

      "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
      great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
      not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
      very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
      prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
      --Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 11:08 AM

      The Book


      Bible - God's Word to you in
      different languages...

      http://www.scriptures.com/


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 11:05 AM

      Who...


      Who is Jesus?
      http://www.ccci.org/wij/

      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 10:53 AM

      Fast Food



      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 10:46 AM

      The Panda


      A panda walks into a diner, sits down, and orders
      a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun,
      and shoots out the restaurant's windows.

      As the panda stands up to go, the owner shouts,

      "Hey! Where do you think you're going? You just
      shot my windows out and you didn't pay for your
      sandwich!"

      The panda yells back at the owner,

      "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

      The owner gets out a dictionary, looks it up,
      and sees the following definition for "panda". . . . . .

      Funny Punchline At: http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 10:39 AM

      40 THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW


      1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.
      2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickles
      the company once had. 3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus
      every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself. 4. The Declaration of
      Independence was written on hemp paper. 5. The dot over the letter 'i'
      is called a "tittle". 6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne
      will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the
      top. 7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller. 8. A duck's quack
      doesn't echo ... no one knows why. 9. 40% of McDonald's profits come
      from the sales of Happy Meals. 10. Every person has a unique tongue
      print. 11. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled. 12.
      The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was
      albino. 13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents
      daily. 14. During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be
      seen in the distance. 15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother
      and sister. 16. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a
      few ounces will kill a small sized dog. 17. Orcas (killer whales) kill
      sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath,
      causing the shark to explode. 18. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
      19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear
      pants. 20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

      Warning: Half of the above are NOT true!!!
      Find out which ones at: http://howdyhumor.blogspot.com/


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 10:32 AM

      Quarter-Pounder


      Some people say, "I go to church, so I am
      a Christian. But that's like saying if you
      go McDonald's, you are a quarter-pounder.


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 10:17 AM

      End Of The Earth



      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 10:14 AM

      The Missing Pieces


      Our three-year-old grandson is turning
      out to be quite an engineer. He loves to
      figure out how things work and he loves
      to build things that do. When he's at
      Grandma and Granddad's house, he
      likes to play with our Lincoln Logs.
      He had built a couple of cabins in
      the middle of our living room floor
      the other day when we noticed that
      he had stopped and he was just lying
      on his tummy with his head cradled
      in his hands, studying the pictures
      on the Lincoln Logs container. When
      his mom asked him what he was
      doing just staring at that container,
      he said, "There are some pieces
      missing here." And he began to
      point out exactly what pieces
      were pictured on the can but
      missing in front of him.

      MORE: http://xrl.us/evm5

      LISTEN: http://xrl.us/evm6



      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 9:52 AM

      Female Friends




      Jill and her (recent UNC grad) friend Linda were
      chatting over coffee.

      Says Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange
      and painful side effect from coffee. I'm fine
      when I drink it black, but if I use cream, or
      sugar, or both, I get a stabbing pain in one eye."

      Linda then took a sip of her coffee. "Oww!"
      she cried. "There it goes again!"

      Says Jill,

      "Linda, sweetie.....

      take the spoon out of the cup!"


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:54 AM

      The Dying Dragon



      There is a familiar scene in many fantasies and great epics:
      when it comes time for the hero to slay the dragon or beast
      that is his enemy, he inflicts upon it a mortal wound. The
      one reading or watching the story longs to breath a sigh
      of relief at this point when it grows clear that the dragon
      will die. But when a strong beast is wounded, it becomes
      violently angry. The wounded dragon seems to lash out
      with ten times more strength and fury, causing us to
      wonder if the hero will survive the conflict. Although the
      dragon is dying, it rears up, determined to take others
      down with it, wounding as many as it can before it breathes
      its last.

      MORE: http://xrl.us/evmo



      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:31 AM

      Human Traffickers




      Human Traffickers Prey on Tsunami's Most Vulnerable Victims

      Before the debris settled on the devastating Southeast
      Asia tsunami of December 26, reports of human
      trafficking emerged from the region. With the death
      toll now higher than 200,000, tens of thousands still
      missing, and entire costal villages decimated, it's hard
      to imagine things getting much worse for the nations
      involved. Yet as incomprehensible as it seems, evidence
      is mounting that child trafficking gangs are preying
      on the regions thousands of children who are orphaned
      or separated from their parents...


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:12 AM

      F.S.C. 0 - A.S.C. 1000


      On one side of the issue are those who don't understand
      how anyone could disagree with the use of unviable
      fetal tissue. They just can't fathom why there would be
      resistance to enabling Superman to walk again. And on
      the other side are those standing so close to the dis-
      cussions opposing the devastating and abhorrent
      practice of abortion that the real topic of discussion
      is lost.

      Both groups have a blind spot. The curious thing
      about blind spots is that you can't see them. Let's
      look at this from a sports perspective. It's the first
      half. And the score? Read the board.

      Fetal Stem Cells 0 - Adult Stem Cells 1000s

      It doesn't even sound like a game worth watching,
      does it?

      Related Links:
      • Adult Stem Cells by David A. Prentice, Ph.D.
      • Stem Cells From Fat Used to Repair Girl's Skull - AP
      • Selling Out for Science - Newsweek
      • Engineered Stem Cells Can Home In On Tumors
      • Stem Cells Used to Repair Heart Tissue - Reuters
      • Stem Cell Information Page


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:06 AM
      Tuesday, January 25, 2005

      Who Did It???

      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 9:56 PM

      Oldest Mom


      The case of Adriana Iliescu made headlines
      around the world when the 66-year-old woman
      gave birth to a baby girl. Doctors at Romania's
      Giulesti Maternity Hospital announced the birth
      on January 16, 2005, declaring Ms. Iliescu to
      be the world's oldest mother.

      MORE: http://xrl.us/


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 8:38 PM

      Scenic World Travel Cams



      385 Cams From Around The World
      (Where The World Watches The World)

      http://xrl.us/ergr



      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 7:14 PM

      RANDOM TIDBITS


      Most tornadoes hit between 5pm and 6pm.

      ***

      Hail causes nearly $1 billion in damage to crops and property
      each year in the U.S.

      ***

      About 90% of the world's ice is found in Antarctica.

      ???

      Breathe In & Breathe Out

      Above 18,000 ft. in elevation, air pressure is half of what
      it is at sea level. This means that twice as many breaths are
      required to supply the same amount of oxygen to the blood and
      we tire more easily when exerting ourselves at higher eleva-
      tions.

      ***

      Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

      Not including wind-driven rain, raindrops fall between 7 and 18
      miles per hour in still air. The range in speed depends on the
      the size of the raindrop. Air friction breaks up raindrops when
      they exceed 18 miles per hour.

      ***

      I Want Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

      The amount of sunlight reaching the earth's surface is 6,000
      times the amount of energy used by all human beings worldwide.
      The total amount of fossil fuel used by humans since the start
      of civilization is equivalent to less than 30 days of sunshine.

      ***************************

      "A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership,
      of getting along with people, of getting things done."

      Dwight D. Eisenhower


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 7:08 PM

      UNC Football


      Q: How do you keep a UNC player out of your yard?
      A: Put up goal posts.

      Q: Where do you go in Chapel Hill in case of a tornado?
      A: To Kenan Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!

      Q: What do you call a UNC player with a bowl ring?
      A: A thief.

      Q: What's the difference between UNC and a dollar bill?
      A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

      Q: How many UNC players does it take to win a bowl game?
      A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!

      Q: What does UNC and possums have in common?
      A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!


      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 9:49 AM

      Dentist Visit



      - posted by 'Thought & Humor' @ 9:27 AM

      Stony Silence



      A couple were driving to the airport in stony silence
      since they had had an argument and she was not
      really interested in flying in her husband’s aircraft
      that afternoon. They drove past a meadow in
      which several goats, cows, horses and sheep
      were grazing. He asked sarcastically, “Relatives
      of yours?” “Yes!” she quickly replied “In-laws.”


      (Ths: Marie - S. Africia)



      ===============






      ***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
      This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
      or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
      warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
      A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
      ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqué
      located below. Even UNC Sophomores can do it...








      ===============


      Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
      http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
      Updated frequently!!!
      Cartoons, humor & thought daily.
      Please post at your school/work site.



      ===============




      'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.




      ===============





      Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
      humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
      & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
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      ===============



      Howdy's address: your-bestfriend4u@...

      ===============





      Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

      Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
      that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
      as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

      Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
      Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
      Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
      Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
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      Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
      Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
      Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
      Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
      John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
      Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
      Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
      Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
      Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
      Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
      Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
      Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
      Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
      Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
      Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
      Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
      Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

      Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
      and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
      for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.





      ===============





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      ===============




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      ===============



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