***Thought & Humor*** - First Published In Last Century - April 10, 2006 A.D.
- The UNC* math professor said, "Now class, we know their
are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24
hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so...
Updated frequently during the day!!!************************From a passenger ship, everyone can seea thin bearded man on a small island, shoutingand desperately waving his hands...
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humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
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Updated frequently!!!************************Someone ToLead You HomeWhen I say this man is a veteran test pilot, I mean he's easily old enough to becomfortably retired. Instead, he's still blasting through the skies at these mind-bogglingspeeds, testing some of America's most advanced aircraft. He told his amazing life storyrecently on a national television program. It's a story of a lifelong adventure in the skiesand a long spiritual search here on earth that ended - well, with the pilot of the universepiloting his life. As he concluded his story, he told about an incident where he was sentup in a state-of-the-art aircraft to help a pilot in distress.
The fog was thick; the weather was dangerous for flying, and a rookie pilot was lost inthat fog and unable to get through the weather in a plane that wasn't equipped for it. Well,Mr. Test Pilot flew close to that imperiled aircraft until he was actually positioned at its leftwing. And then he radioed the desperate pilot and he simply said, "Look to your left." Thenhe said, "Now stick with me. Turn when I turn." Then in a plane so advanced that the veteransaid that it can make a game out of bad weather, he led his frightened fellow-pilot to thatglorious point where they broke through the fog and they saw the bright lights of that landingstrip below. When they landed safely, the rookie got out of his plane, ran to his rescuer, andhugged him as if he had saved his life. He probably had.
A pilot lost, in a potentially fatal predicament. His only hope was someone who was equippedwith everything needed to bring him safely home. We all need someone like that. Because we are all,in the word the Bible uses to describe our spiritual condition, "lost." If we're honest, we know that wereally don't know how life's supposed to work, no matter how cool and together we look on the outside.When it comes to knowing why we're here, which way to go, and most importantly, how to land safelyafter we die, well, we're all lost. Our only hope is someone who's equipped with everything needed tolead us safely home; someone who will come beside us and take us the rest of the way through thislife and into the life to come.
His name is Jesus. He came here for all of us lost pilots. He said so in His personal mission statement,recorded in Luke 19:10, our word for today from the Word of God. Jesus said of Himself, "The Son of Mancame to seek and to save what was lost." Notice, He didn't come to start a religion called Christianity or justto give us a nice morality to live by. He came to rescue us from a spiritual predicament that will be eternallyfatal unless we let Him lead us home. We're lost because we hijacked our life from Him. We took over the pilot'sseat that God was supposed to occupy. That hijacking is called sin.
In the Bible's words, we are "sheep who have gone astray," and lost sheep just don't find their way home.Their only hope is if the Shepherd comes looking for the one who's lost. And Jesus did. He, in His words,came to "lay down My life for the sheep" (John 10:15). The only person who is equipped to lead you out of theguilt and the death penalty for your sin is the one who took all that guilt and all that dying on Himself. That'swhat Jesus did when He died on the cross. And then, He walked out of His grave under His own power! He'salive right now, and He's pulled up next to you today.
The tug you feel in your heart - that's Jesus seeking you so He can save you. He's your only hope, but youhave to admit that. You have to tell Him that and start following where He leads you. Today you could beginyour personal relationship with Him. I'd love to help you do that if you'll just visit our website - there I've puta brief explanation of how you could be sure you belong to Him. Or, if you'd like the booklet, Yours For Life,just call us at 877-741-1200*.
You don't have to fly in the fog one more day. You don't have to be lost anymore. You don't have to crashat the end. Jesus has come close to you today, and He's saying, "Look to Me. I'll get you safely home."Follow Him. - - Ron Hutchcraft*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.===============
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============The Bedford DiariesIf there's one thing we don't have enough of in this world, it's college
students obsessing over sex.
Or so the WB network seems to believe. It recently premiered the new drama
The Bedford Diaries about a group of college students taking a class on
human sexuality. As you might expect, the show's take on sex is not
something that most parents would want their kids to subscribe to.
As New York Times TV reviewer Alessandra Stanley observed, "The portraitof college life is torn from the headlines, not alumni magazines. . . . [M]uch
of the students' time is spent drinking shots and double lattes, playing
video poker in their dorm rooms and, of course, hooking up. [One girl's]
roommate brings back a new lover she found in what she cheerfully describes
as a 'street meet.'"
The pilot episode weaves together several plotlines, including a young man
who starts to fall for a girl who survived suicidebecause, in the young
man's words, "there is something very hot about that kind of crazy." But the
episode focuses mainly on the fallout from a student's affair with a married
professor. While trying to prevent the school newspaper from reporting on
the affair, the girl, Sarah, discovers that she was not the only student the
professor slept with. She's devastated that what she thought was love was
nothing more than just one more "hookup" for the professor. The young woman,
who thought that she was mature and in control of her love life, suddenly
finds herself hurt and confused.
"Does sex even mean anything anymore?" Sarah asks in a poignant moment near
the end. But she concludes, "Opening yourself up, even if it means your
heart and soul are crushed, that's what makes you stronger. That's what
gives you the power to move on, put the past behind youto get out there and
get your heart stomped on all over again."
Well, there you have the real problem with The Bedford Diaries and other
shows like it. It's not that they make extramarital sex look glamorous and
fun, because as Alessandra Stanley pointed out in the Times, "It actually
keeps making the point that sex without love is an expense of spirit in a
waste of shame." The real trouble is that the show makes it look as if, no
matter how bleak the situation gets, there's no way out of it. In this view,
love is worth looking for, even if finding it is a hopeless and painful
business. Everybody gets involved in the culture of free sex sooner or
later, and if one sexual relationship doesn't work out, well, you just have
to keep trying until you find the relationship that does. It's all, after
all, a roll of the dice.
These kids are not just being bathed in moral rot. They are being fed pure
existential angst, the discredited worldview of the 1960s. What a grim
picture. And what I find truly chilling: This network aims for 12- to
14-year-old girls12, mere children.
The good news is The Bedford Diaries did poorly in the ratings and may not
be around much longer. But this tragic and frightening view of life will
keep propagating itself in our nihilistic popular culture, until, that is,
we Christians get busy and start teaching our kids a better, more hopeful
vision of what love and sex and life are all about. BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley
Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.===============Subscribe: Get your friends to join the funby sending an e-mail to:
OSU_humor_clubfirstname.lastname@example.org===============Far AsThe Curse
Several years ago images from a high school hazing incident were captured
on video and televised across the world. The video portrayed a swarm of
kids attacking other kids while a small group of adults watched and
cheered as spectators. The chilling images rightfully brought to mind many
questions, and refueled the discussion on how and why we are failing to
teach our children. In all, the incident generated several concussions,a broken ankle, and five hospitalizations. One journalist called it a
"sobering reminder of the dangers of mob-think." It was clearly proof
once more that when masked by the anonymity of a group, it is disturbingly
easy to lose individual identity and personal moral boundaries, and to
become fully capable of cruelties we would otherwise find unimaginable.
Psychologists have long noted the reality of mob-think as one of the many
powerful motivators of human action. There are other examples of the
power of social influence as well. Not only is human behavior influenced
by the crowd as a whole, we are also greatly influenced by those in
comparable social groups and categories--by those we perceive as similar
to us. Likewise, a famous psychology experiment run by Stanley Milgram
vividly portrays the motivator of authority on human behavior. In fact,
his findings stunned the world, revealing extreme obedience to authority
even when given radical orders that required the subjects to inflict
tremendous pain upon innocent victims.
The power of social influence is indeed compelling; that it can become
perilously compelling is a lesson of which we cannot be too aware.
In fact, Milgram's experiment grew out of a desire to understand the
obedience of the Nazi regime in the midst of such blatant wrongdoing.He felt certain there had to be unique reasons at work in the troubling
obedience of Nazi officers. But the results of his experiment shocked
even Milgram himself, and perhaps this itself points to the reason the
discovery was so noteworthy. For those of us who would like to look at
the men who carried out the Nazi orders as anything but ordinary,
Milgram's results drastically call our minds to account. By all
definitions, the men and women in his experiments were ordinary people.
They were ordinary men and women who willingly delved out horrendous pain.
Such findings exude a frightening question: Of what, then, am I capable?
Like the ordinary men and women of Milgram's experiment, the men who
carried out the monstrous orders of the Nazi regime, or the kids involved
in violence that baffles us, we, too, are capable of morally objectionable
behavior, much more so than we probably want to realize. We are people
whose ailment is far greater than bad teachers of right and
wrong--Milgram's participants ranged in age, race, and moral conviction.
We are entirely in need of something beyond ourselves. We are in need of
what Christ freely offers. As the great hymn proclaims:
He comes to make His blessings flow,
far as the curse is found,
far as the curse is found.
In his letter to the Romans, the Apostle Paul exhorts the church not to
conform to the patterns of this world, but to "be transformed by the
renewing of your minds" (Romans 12:2). That is, put on a new form,
recognize yourselves as new creations, and by the power of the Onewho has given you new life, continually set your minds to follow Himand His perfect will. Social influence is profound, the influence of our
corrupted nature stronger still, but in Christ we find the authority and
influence of one more compelling than these. May our actions today be
motivated by His transforming presence. Jill Carattini
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
tell them to ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).==============="Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to considerwell the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christwhich is eternal life (John 17:3)."- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives accordingto the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, thefountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the dutiesof religion, both in public and secret."- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter===============The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could notcrush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp itout with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask whythis book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with suchanimosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvinresponds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly orreluctantly." - Joe Boot===============
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
==============='Thought & Humor' - often polemical butnever tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.===============Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......
God designed humans to want to believe in something.That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the Godof the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believein everything -- including Little Green Men.- - Chuck Colson===============Dear Howdy,Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidatefor the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what weall need...please keep up the great works!!!Type atcha later...God bless you,Phil HWI===============It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.- - Isa 40:22===============Biblical Authority: Must We Accept The Words Of Scripture?
The most contentious debates among Christians are argumentsover biblical authority. While Christians who accept the full authorityof Scripture--even the inerrancy and infallibility of the biblical text--may
debate issues ranging from baptism and church government to eschatologyand spiritual gifts, the issues of greatest debate in our time fall along the
fault line of biblical authority.
This is especially true when dealing with the issue of sexuality, and
the question of homosexuality in particular. Those who argue for the
acceptance of homosexual behavior and the blessing of homosexual
relationships have to deal with the fact that the Bible straightforwardly
condemns homosexual behavior. In light of this, some attempt to subvert the
text by arguing that these texts have actually been horribly misunderstood
for over two thousand years. Increasingly, however, some now concede that
the Bible condemns homosexuality in every relevant text, but that Christians
are no longer bound by the authority of these texts as we deal with the
present moral crisis.
One scholar who takes this approach is Brian K. Blount, Richard J.
Dearborn Professor of New Testament Interpretation at Princeton Theological
Seminary. Professor Blount specializes in "cultural hermeneutics," and he
applies this approach to the issue of homosexuality and biblical authority
in an essay entitled, "The Last Word in Biblical Authority."
Blount's essay is published in Struggling with Scripture, which Blount
authored along with coauthors Walter Brueggemann and William C. Placher.The book emerged out of a symposium on the theological interpretation of
Scripture in which the three were participants.
Blount begins his essay by suggesting that some persons simply must
have the last word on any subject. "Many people treat the biblical words
that way, believing that those words, all of them, must always be the last
words standing. Now in matters of faith--in matters of understanding our
human relationship before God and God's moves to nurture, develop,
restructure, and refine that relationship through the prophetic and
incarnate Word--most of Christendom, I think, agrees that those inspired
words are lasting words. But in matters of the proper way to appropriate
those words of faith ethically, there is and has always been considerable
discussion and debate."
Well, give Professor Blount credit for honesty. When he looks to the
Bible, he does not see eternal words that are to be received as fixed and
determinate, but as a text that is to be divided between "matters of faith"
and other, presumably negotiable issues.
In making his case, Blount points to the issues of slavery, gender,
and sexuality as evidence that "even the inspired biblical authors, when
they applied God's prophetic and incarnate Word to their very human
situations, allowed those situations to influence how they heard God and
therefore how they talked to each other."
Several clarifications must be inserted here. First, the Bible does
not sanction race-based chattel slavery as practiced in many parts of the
world, America included, throughout history. The Bible does seek to regulate
slavery, but there is no way that slavery, gender, and sexuality can be
linked as equal issues in terms of biblical interpretation.
Nevertheless, Professor Blount argues that when confronting biblical
texts that deal with these issues, the contemporary church must not allow
these words to be the last word on the subject. Instead, he argues that
"ethical biblical authority is contextual biblical authority."
The interpretive key, according to Blount, is the human spirit. "The
role of the spirit is a constant," he explains. "Laced into the fabric of
human beings is that part of us that reaches beyond the boundaries of our
flesh and blood and touches the essential voice of God's own Holy Spirit.
Did you ever hear someone say a room is wired for sound? We're wired for
God, wired by God with a human spirit that despite its limitations can be
touched by God's Holy Spirit. In every time, in every place, in every moment
of history, the spirit plays this interlocutory role."
He argues that the church should hear God's voice "like an inaudible
whisper--sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce--that jangles the nerves ofthe human spirit until, tensed and alert, it attends to what it is that God
wants to 'say.'"
Nevertheless, what God says "will be different according to the
variable conditions in which the human spirits who encounter it find
Note his argument carefully. He is suggesting that human experience is
the key to interpreting scripture, and that the words of Scripture may take
on different meanings in different contexts. The ethical teachings of the
Bible, he asserts, are limited to specific times and specific places, where
the prejudices and realities of any given time may shape the biblical text
in unethical ways. When such texts are encountered, they "ought to be
challenged when we find that they were influenced by their contexts insuch a way that they are damaging, and not life affirming, in a contemporary
Professor Blount understands that he has set himself up for some
difficult questions. Which words of the Bible are to be seen as living and
authoritative and which are to b
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