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***Thought & Humor*** - First Published In Last Century - April 10, 2006 A.D.

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  • Professor Howdy
    The UNC* math professor said, Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so...
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 10, 2006

      The UNC* math professor said, "Now class, we know their
      are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24
      hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so...

           Updated frequently during the day!!!
      Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
      there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...
      From a passenger ship, everyone can see
      a thin bearded man on a small island, shouting
      and desperately waving his hands...

      *Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
      humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
      & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
      of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
      of your choice from the list below:

      1) French university students
      2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
      3) Any accredited high school or middle school
      4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
      5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
      6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
      to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      Someone To
      Lead You Home
                  When I say this man is a veteran test pilot, I mean he's easily old enough to be
      comfortably retired. Instead, he's still blasting through the skies at these mind-boggling
      speeds, testing some of America's most advanced aircraft. He told his amazing life story
      recently on a national television program. It's a story of a lifelong adventure in the skies
      and a long spiritual search here on earth that ended - well, with the pilot of the universe
      piloting his life. As he concluded his story, he told about an incident where he was sent
      up in a state-of-the-art aircraft to help a pilot in distress.

          The fog was thick; the weather was dangerous for flying, and a rookie pilot was lost in
      that fog and unable to get through the weather in a plane that wasn't equipped for it. Well,
      Mr. Test Pilot flew close to that imperiled aircraft until he was actually positioned at its left
      wing. And then he radioed the desperate pilot and he simply said, "Look to your left." Then
      he said, "Now stick with me. Turn when I turn." Then in a plane so advanced that the veteran
      said that it can make a game out of bad weather, he led his frightened fellow-pilot to that
      glorious point where they broke through the fog and they saw the bright lights of that landing
      strip below. When they landed safely, the rookie got out of his plane, ran to his rescuer, and
      hugged him as if he had saved his life. He probably had.

            A pilot lost, in a potentially fatal predicament. His only hope was someone who was equipped
      with everything needed to bring him safely home. We all need someone like that. Because we are all,
      in the word the Bible uses to describe our spiritual condition, "lost." If we're honest, we know that we
      really don't know how life's supposed to work, no matter how cool and together we look on the outside.
      When it comes to knowing why we're here, which way to go, and most importantly, how to land safely
      after we die, well, we're all lost. Our only hope is someone who's equipped with everything needed to
      lead us safely home; someone who will come beside us and take us the rest of the way through this
      life and into the life to come.

          His name is Jesus. He came here for all of us lost pilots. He said so in His personal mission statement,
      recorded in Luke 19:10, our word for today from the Word of God. Jesus said of Himself, "The Son of Man
      came to seek and to save what was lost." Notice, He didn't come to start a religion called Christianity or just
      to give us a nice morality to live by. He came to rescue us from a spiritual predicament that will be eternally
      fatal unless we let Him lead us home. We're lost because we hijacked our life from Him. We took over the pilot's
      seat that God was supposed to occupy. That hijacking is called sin.

          In the Bible's words, we are "sheep who have gone astray," and lost sheep just don't find their way home.
      Their only hope is if the Shepherd comes looking for the one who's lost. And Jesus did. He, in His words,
      came to "lay down My life for the sheep" (John 10:15). The only person who is equipped to lead you out of the
      guilt and the death penalty for your sin is the one who took all that guilt and all that dying on Himself. That's
      what Jesus did when He died on the cross. And then, He walked out of His grave under His own power! He's
      alive right now, and He's pulled up next to you today.

          The tug you feel in your heart - that's Jesus seeking you so He can save you. He's your only hope, but you
      have to admit that. You have to tell Him that and start following where He leads you. Today you could begin
      your personal relationship with Him. I'd love to help you do that if you'll just visit our website - there I've put
      a brief explanation of how you could be sure you belong to Him. Or, if you'd like the booklet, Yours For Life,
      just call us at 877-741-1200*.

          You don't have to fly in the fog one more day. You don't have to be lost anymore. You don't have to crash
      at the end. Jesus has come close to you today, and He's saying, "Look to Me. I'll get you safely home."
      Follow Him.                      - -  Ron Hutchcraft
      *Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.

      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      The Bedford Diaries

      If there's one thing we don't have enough of in this world, it's college
      students obsessing over sex.

      Or so the WB network seems to believe. It recently premiered the new drama
      The Bedford Diaries about a group of college students taking a class on
      human sexuality. As you might expect, the show's take on sex is not
      something that most parents would want their kids to subscribe to.

      As New York Times TV reviewer Alessandra Stanley observed, "The portrait
      of college life is torn from the headlines, not alumni magazines. . . . [M]uch
      of the students' time is spent drinking shots and double lattes, playing
      video poker in their dorm rooms and, of course, hooking up. [One girl's]
      roommate brings back a new lover she found in what she cheerfully describes
      as a 'street meet.'"

      The pilot episode weaves together several plotlines, including a young man
      who starts to fall for a girl who survived suicide—because, in the young
      man's words, "there is something very hot about that kind of crazy." But the
      episode focuses mainly on the fallout from a student's affair with a married
      professor. While trying to prevent the school newspaper from reporting on
      the affair, the girl, Sarah, discovers that she was not the only student the
      professor slept with. She's devastated that what she thought was love was
      nothing more than just one more "hookup" for the professor. The young woman,
      who thought that she was mature and in control of her love life, suddenly
      finds herself hurt and confused.

      "Does sex even mean anything anymore?" Sarah asks in a poignant moment near
      the end. But she concludes, "Opening yourself up, even if it means your
      heart and soul are crushed, that's what makes you stronger. That's what
      gives you the power to move on, put the past behind you—to get out there and
      get your heart stomped on all over again."

      Well, there you have the real problem with The Bedford Diaries and other
      shows like it. It's not that they make extramarital sex look glamorous and
      fun, because as Alessandra Stanley pointed out in the Times, "It actually
      keeps making the point that sex without love is an expense of spirit in a
      waste of shame." The real trouble is that the show makes it look as if, no
      matter how bleak the situation gets, there's no way out of it. In this view,
      love is worth looking for, even if finding it is a hopeless and painful
      business. Everybody gets involved in the culture of free sex sooner or
      later, and if one sexual relationship doesn't work out, well, you just have
      to keep trying until you find the relationship that does. It's all, after
      all, a roll of the dice.

      These kids are not just being bathed in moral rot. They are being fed pure
      existential angst, the discredited worldview of the 1960s. What a grim
      picture. And what I find truly chilling: This network aims for 12- to
      14-year-old girls—12, mere children.

      The good news is The Bedford Diaries did poorly in the ratings and may not
      be around much longer. But this tragic and frightening view of life will
      keep propagating itself in our nihilistic popular culture, until, that is,
      we Christians get busy and start teaching our kids a better, more hopeful
      vision of what love and sex and life are all about. 
       BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley

      Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
      Subscribe:  Get your friends to join the fun
      Far As
      The Curse

      Several years ago images from a high school hazing incident were captured
      on video and televised across the world.  The video portrayed a swarm of
      kids attacking other kids while a small group of adults watched and
      cheered as spectators. The chilling images rightfully brought to mind many
      questions, and refueled the discussion on how and why we are failing to
      teach our children.  In all, the incident generated several concussions,
      a broken ankle, and five hospitalizations.  One journalist called it a
      "sobering reminder of the dangers of mob-think."  It was clearly proof
      once more that when masked by the anonymity of a group, it is disturbingly
      easy to lose individual identity and personal moral boundaries, and to
      become fully capable of cruelties we would otherwise find unimaginable. 

      Psychologists have long noted the reality of mob-think as one of the many
      powerful motivators of human action.  There are other examples of the
      power of social influence as well.  Not only is human behavior influenced
      by the crowd as a whole, we are also greatly influenced by those in
      comparable social groups and categories--by those we perceive as similar
      to us.  Likewise, a famous psychology experiment run by Stanley Milgram
      vividly portrays the motivator of authority on human behavior.  In fact,
      his findings stunned the world, revealing extreme obedience to authority
      even when given radical orders that required the subjects to inflict
      tremendous pain upon innocent victims. 

      The power of social influence is indeed compelling; that it can become
      perilously compelling is a lesson of which we cannot be too aware.
      In fact, Milgram's experiment grew out of a desire to understand the
      obedience of the Nazi regime in the midst of such blatant wrongdoing. 
      He felt certain there had to be unique reasons at work in the troubling
      obedience of Nazi officers.  But the results of his experiment shocked
      even Milgram himself, and perhaps this itself points to the reason the
      discovery was so noteworthy.  For those of us who would like to look at
      the men who carried out the Nazi orders as anything but ordinary,
      Milgram's results drastically call our minds to account.  By all
      definitions, the men and women in his experiments were ordinary people.
      They were ordinary men and women who willingly delved out horrendous pain.
       Such findings exude a frightening question: Of what, then, am I capable?

      Like the ordinary men and women of Milgram's experiment, the men who
      carried out the monstrous orders of the Nazi regime, or the kids involved
      in violence that baffles us, we, too, are capable of morally objectionable
      behavior, much more so than we probably want to realize.  We are people
      whose ailment is far greater than bad teachers of right and
      wrong--Milgram's participants ranged in age, race, and moral conviction.
      We are entirely in need of something beyond ourselves.  We are in need of
      what Christ freely offers.  As the great hymn proclaims:

      He comes to make His blessings flow,
      far as the curse is found,
      far as the curse is found.   

      In his letter to the Romans, the Apostle Paul exhorts the church not to
      conform to the patterns of this world, but to "be transformed by the
      renewing of your minds" (Romans 12:2).  That is, put on a new form,
      recognize yourselves as new creations, and by the power of the One
      who has given you new life, continually set your minds to follow Him
      and His perfect will.  Social influence is profound, the influence of our
      corrupted nature stronger still, but in Christ we find the authority and
      influence of one more compelling than these.  May our actions today be
      motivated by His transforming
              Jill Carattini

      "A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
      challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
      would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
      tell them to
      ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
      The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
      failed to stamp the Bible out.  The French Revolution could not
      crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
      converted to Christianity).  The Communists failed to stamp it
      out with atheism and political ideology.  One might well ask why
      this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
      animosity and scorn.  The great Reformation hero John Calvin
      responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,
      they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
      reluctantly."            - Joe Boot


         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,
      And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,
      Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
      And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.
        - - Isa 40:22
      Biblical Authority: Must We Accept The Words Of Scripture?

            The most contentious debates among Christians are arguments
      over biblical authority. While Christians who accept the full authority
      of Scripture--even the inerrancy and infallibility of the biblical text--may
      debate issues ranging from baptism and church government to eschatology
      and spiritual gifts, the issues of greatest debate in our time fall along the
      fault line of biblical authority.

        This is especially true when dealing with the issue of sexuality, and
      the question of homosexuality in particular. Those who argue for the
      acceptance of homosexual behavior and the blessing of homosexual
      relationships have to deal with the fact that the Bible straightforwardly
      condemns homosexual behavior. In light of this, some attempt to subvert the
      text by arguing that these texts have actually been horribly misunderstood
      for over two thousand years. Increasingly, however, some now concede that
      the Bible condemns homosexuality in every relevant text, but that Christians
      are no longer bound by the authority of these texts as we deal with the
      present moral crisis.

            One scholar who takes this approach is Brian K. Blount, Richard J.
      Dearborn Professor of New Testament Interpretation at Princeton Theological
      Seminary. Professor Blount specializes in "cultural hermeneutics," and he
      applies this approach to the issue of homosexuality and biblical authority
      in an essay entitled, "The Last Word in Biblical Authority."

        Blount's essay is published in Struggling with Scripture, which Blount
      authored along with coauthors Walter Brueggemann and William C. Placher.
      The book emerged out of a symposium on the theological interpretation of
      Scripture in which the three were participants.

            Blount begins his essay by suggesting that some persons simply must
      have the last word on any subject. "Many people treat the biblical words
      that way, believing that those words, all of them, must always be the last
      words standing. Now in matters of faith--in matters of understanding our
      human relationship before God and God's moves to nurture, develop,
      restructure, and refine that relationship through the prophetic and
      incarnate Word--most of Christendom, I think, agrees that those inspired
      words are lasting words. But in matters of the proper way to appropriate
      those words of faith ethically, there is and has always been considerable
      discussion and debate."

        Well, give Professor Blount credit for honesty. When he looks to the
      Bible, he does not see eternal words that are to be received as fixed and
      determinate, but as a text that is to be divided between "matters of faith"
      and other, presumably negotiable issues.

            In making his case, Blount points to the issues of slavery, gender,
      and sexuality as evidence that "even the inspired biblical authors, when
      they applied God's prophetic and incarnate Word to their very human
      situations, allowed those situations to influence how they heard God and
      therefore how they talked to each other."

            Several clarifications must be inserted here. First, the Bible does
      not sanction race-based chattel slavery as practiced in many parts of the
      world, America included, throughout history. The Bible does seek to regulate
      slavery, but there is no way that slavery, gender, and sexuality can be
      linked as equal issues in terms of biblical interpretation.

            Nevertheless, Professor Blount argues that when confronting biblical
      texts that deal with these issues, the contemporary church must not allow
      these words to be the last word on the subject. Instead, he argues that
      "ethical biblical authority is contextual biblical authority."

        The interpretive key, according to Blount, is the human spirit. "The
      role of the spirit is a constant," he explains. "Laced into the fabric of
      human beings is that part of us that reaches beyond the boundaries of our
      flesh and blood and touches the essential voice of God's own Holy Spirit.
      Did you ever hear someone say a room is wired for sound? We're wired for
      God, wired by God with a human spirit that despite its limitations can be
      touched by God's Holy Spirit. In every time, in every place, in every moment
      of history, the spirit plays this interlocutory role."

            He argues that the church should hear God's voice "like an inaudible
      whisper--sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce--that jangles the nerves of
      the human spirit until, tensed and alert, it attends to what it is that God
      wants to 'say.'"

      Nevertheless, what God says "will be different according to the
      variable conditions in which the human spirits who encounter it find

            Note his argument carefully. He is suggesting that human experience is
      the key to interpreting scripture, and that the words of Scripture may take
      on different meanings in different contexts. The ethical teachings of the
      Bible, he asserts, are limited to specific times and specific places, where
      the prejudices and realities of any given time may shape the biblical text
      in unethical ways. When such texts are encountered, they "ought to be
      challenged when we find that they were influenced by their contexts in
      such a way that they are damaging, and not life affirming, in a contemporary

        Professor Blount understands that he has set himself up for some
      difficult questions. Which words of the Bible are to be seen as living and
      authoritative and which are to b

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