<<Taurus Base; CO's office>>
*Tevar had no idea how long he had slept. All he knew was his dreams had not
been pleasant. He was actually rather grateful when the sound of Kruska's
return woke him. He opened his dulled silvery eyes, looked at her for a
moment and then struggled to sit up.*
K'ruska: I have all you asked for. *She set the box on the table.* Are you
feeling any better?
Tevar: *pausing a moment to assess himself* No. *He pushed himself to
unsteady legs and approached the case that held the supplies.* I will need
K'ruska: How much room do you need? I can clear space for you. (Please...
Tevar: *glancing around* The desk and that long table should be sufficient.
*he forcibly stopped the tremors going through his hands as he opened the
latch on the case* I may... need your assistance.
K'ruska: Anything you need me to do... I will. *She cursed the tremor in her
deep voice, the love that showed despite her best efforts to hide it*
*He was quiet for a time as he pulled out equipment and supplies and set up
his small laboratory. He blinked in surprise when he saw that she had
actually managed to get a hold of two of the plants used for the compound.*
Tevar: I won't ask who you had to kill to get these.... They only grow on
Cardassia and they are restricted exports because they are toxic to most
K'ruska: *Shrugging* You needed them.... *She wasn't going to tell him she
had sold off her bat'lth for them*
Tevar: It will make things easier. They are the more difficult compounds to
replicate. Now... *his hands were shaking again* stand beside me. I am going
to guide you with voice and hands. I'm too shaky for this delicate work.
K'ruska: *Moving to stand beside him* I will not fail you. *There was a
firmness to her voice and a set to her jaw that said she meant every word of
*It took several hours to get the first round of serum perfected. During
that period he had to stop and sit for a while as his body trembled. But, in
the end, he was satisfied that the serum would be effective. The only
problem was that there was only enough for a week. He would need to find a
way to synthesize it or spend more time in the lab than he could spare.*
Tevar: *taking up the serum loaded hypo* I will need a specialized
replication system eventually. One dedicated to the replication of botanical
compounds. *He grimaced as he injected himself, having forgotten the burn
the mixture made as it entered his blood. He leaned back against the back of
the sofa, using will power alone to numb the pain. He blew out a huff of
breath and looked at Kruska* I owe you. *He touched her face* I wish I could
be what you want and need this very moment, but I need time to heal.
K'ruska: Just live. Live to be happy. I will get over it, broken hearts will
not kill me. (Yes it will fool! Part of you has died already.)
Tevar: Right now I find it difficult to be happy.... Part of me wishes to
die. But I know I cannot leave Tokor and this fight. I must stay despite the
fact that it feels like my heart is gone. *He sighed* I don't want to break
your heart, but I can make no promises. It may be that in a month they will
realize that I am as I once was and that I am a danger to them now because I
choose to openly stand against them. They may send someone to elliminate the
K'ruska: No one will harm you as long as I draw breath! *She seemed to grow
larger, become made of metal as she crossed her arms over her chest* I will
die to protect you!
Tevar: *gently* This base needs you now. They need a strong leader. I cannot
allow you to risk yourself for me when your crew will need you.
K'ruska: I am expendable. *She sank to the floor with a grace that was
surprising for one so large* I love... therefore I must do as that love
dictates. To do otherwise would make that love a farce.
Tevar: *looking at her with a sort of awe in his eyes* You are the only
person to ever pledge such a thing to me. I don't feel I am deserving. I
once would have taken full advantage of this situation, bedded you,
discarded you. But now... I think I have seen too much to be so callous.
K'ruska: Sleep Tevar, get well. I will guard you. *She stood and got a
blanket to cover his too thin frame with*
Tevar: (The old me would be taking solace in ravishing her right now. Some
part of me still craves that after so long, but....) *He nodded* They 're
probably looking for me now. You might at least let medical know that I am
safe so that Tokor won't worry.
K'ruska: I did so before returning with your supplies. Ravik is very unhappy
with me as are the doctors. (Unhappy? More like they are wishing to find a
way to get me courtmarshelled)
Tevar: *moving to get up* I should talk to Tokor. He won't understand why I
needed to be out of there otherwise.
K'ruska: *Gently pushing him back down* Sleep. Ravik can wait. (Please...
give me a few more hours to look at you, be alone with you.)
*A sudden urge overtook him then and he found himself kissing her. He
couldn't stop it... couldn't explain why he did it. It stunned him as much
as it stunned her, he was sure.*
K'ruska: (Kahless!) *She melted into it, big hands moving to hold him close*
Tevar: (What am I doing?!) *but a small quiet voice in the back of his head
whispered* (Being yourself... remember? This is how you once were. You
aren't the weak, scarred thing they made you.) *He deepened the kiss without
realizing and held it for several long moments before breaking it.* I... I
shouldn't have done that. *To his chagrin, he realized his body had reacted
to it.* I'm sorry. I just... I couldn't control it.
K'ruska: *Big hand sliding down his body* It is not good for a man to go
unfulfilled. *With amazingly deft movements she had him wrapped in her
strong, warm hand*
Tevar: *moaning in spite of himself as he removed her hand* No. *He made the
mistake of looking into her eyes and seeing the love in them. It made him
ache inside.The little voice whispered.* (She wants this. You'll make her
happy and you'll feel better. Just like the old days. Forget about Head
Noises. She certainly forgot you readily enough....) *Before he knew it he
was kissing her again.*
*She lost herself in the kiss as her hand made love to him. She relished his
every moan, every movement. For her, this was better than nothing. Later she
would curse at herself for becoming his whore, but for now... her love would
let her do no less.*
*He pulled back again, this time pulling her up to the sofa.*
Tevar: *touching her face* Not like this. If it is to happen then it happens
on equal ground. (What's this?! *cried that whisper* Since when do you care
about things being equal?!) *he answered himself* (Since Maleah.... Since I
found out what it is to actually love someone.) *He traced the lines of
Kruska's face, letting fingers slide gently over her faint ridges.* If you
insist on this, then it will be done the right way.
K'ruska: (What are you DOING?!) So be it. *She stood and undressed, her
muscular body gleaming in the light*
*He undressed himself and settled her onto the sofa, hands tracing
musculature that his own would mirror given enough time to recover. Some
part of him was amused that she wanted him considering he was short by
Cardassian standards. He let his lips follow the paths his hands made.*
Tevar: *His mind tried to rationalize it all* (Ah... repaying her. That's
it. You owe her so you're doing this to repay her. No... yes... I don't
know. Maybe I'm doing this because I would rather find solace in this than
the bottom of a bottle of kanar or the end of phaser or hypospray....)
*She moaned as he treated her with a tenderness she had never known. Men
wanted her for the pain she delivered and she expected pain in return. This
was gentleness was alien to her, but Kahless help her, she liked it*
*Tevar reminded himself that she was part Klingon and that tenderness might
need to be spiced a little. He mixed light nips in with kisses. He teased
and tormented until she climaxed and then moved to join them. By that time
he had no control. His body demanded fulfillment.*
*She was mindful of her strength and gently clung to him as they moved
together. In this one act she had lost herself, lost her resolve to get over
him. She would be at his side until death... even if only as a guard.*
*Everything was confusion in his mind at that point. He had needed this, but
he had done a grievous wrong in allowing it to happen. It had been too long
since anyone had really known him or cared about him as more than a
Tevar: (But you damn her with a lie, Tevar. This is a lie.... this is you
*But his body seemed to care little for it. He cried out as he felt her
racing toward climax, increasing the sensations he received.*
*Her cries echoed as her body exploded in sensations she had never felt
before. She couldn't stop herself from calling out his name and declaring
her love for him in the same breath*
*He collapsed against her... the chaos in his mind and his sorrow making his
chest feel like it was being torn apart. What his ears heard as gasps for
breath were actually sobs. He realized with embarassment that the wetness on
his face wasn't just sweat.*
Tevar: I... I'm sorry. *He whispered it in her ear between the ragged sobs.*
(Weakling. Look at you! You are not a proper Cardassian at all!) *But that
was the voice of his father.* (I never was, thanks to mother....)
K'ruska: *voice a low growl* Don't be. I wanted this as much as you did.
Tevar: *trying to get control of himself* You deserve better than to be used
like this.... *He wanted to pull away, but found he craved the warmth of her
skin on his cooler hide*
K'ruska: We used each other.... *She found herself cuddling him close,
protective of this enigmatic Cardassian.*
*He found himself relaxing into the embrace despite the inner turmoil. He
was reluctant to seperate them, relishing the sensations despite the fact
that he hated himself for using her.*
K'ruska: Sleep. I am here to protect you.
*He found that he couldn't help but sleep. The entire ordeal and his body's
need for rest overwhelmed him.*
Tevar: *a weary murmur* I didn't mean to hurt you....
K'ruska: *As his breathing let her know he was asleep* I hurt myself by
loving you... and I would do it all again.
"My hearts ache, but it is a sought after pain."
Cardassian Ambassadorial Aide
"How can I do these things?"