[tatar-l] Re Tatar Family Determinism
- Rustam Rahmatullin's point is very interesting for me . Thank you Rustam for sharing openly your opinion and your personal information. That what makes it very valuable source of reference. That kind of discussion can contribute to our development and create great atmosphere here and makes it feel like being with friends. I personally can deeply relate to what you shared with us. I agree with many points you made, especially about the freedom of choice. I believe good parents should provide good conditions for making right choice in marriage and friendship. That would include their own relationship in the family and their social life. It is recommended in one psychotherapy book that it is good when young couple are belong to the families of friends. I would say at least these families need to be prepaid to establish close ties and cooperation in helping young people to create new family. If this couple can mature and grow together in the environment that stimulates this growth then it is more likely they will stick together. Partly this environment should include right values. They should share similar values and objectives built upon them. For me these values are: create a beautiful home where we all can live safely, including kids and members of extended family, if they wish so. Both my partner and I should be committed to creating a community at home and in nearest society, which we are belong to.It mean for me that we need to contemplate becoming an organism with good channels of communication. We both should see all this effort as a long term investment. It be made on the contract bases but supported by free will and constant negotiation.Family need to negotiate its boundaries as well. It mean we need to establish some agreement on a democratic process of coming to conclusions. In the essence of family is shared living and not just biological breeding as some my friends tend to see it. These are just some ideas that I'll be prepaid to discuss wider.Eur Rahmat Rustam.
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