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FW: Groaners

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  • k avison
    OK - Sarah, you asked for this, Try these!!! - enjoy the groan... K Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn t much, but the
    Message 1 of 1 , May 28 1:37 PM
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      OK – Sarah, you asked for this, Try these!!! – enjoy the groan………

      K

      Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 


      Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

      A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

      A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says,  "A beer please, and one for the road."

      Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:” Does this taste funny to you?"

      "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

      Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"

      An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

      DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

      I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

      I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

      What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

      Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says ------ "Dam!".

      Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

      A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in  the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and ordered them to go. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

      A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a  family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain .  They name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his  birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

      Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ……....... A super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis.

      And finally, there was the person who sent nineteen different puns to friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.
       




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