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Ramtha Parody

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  • Mathew Morrell
    Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have an embarrassing confession to make. You may know me as that lady who channels Ramtha or as Zsa Zsa Gabor, my stage
    Message 1 of 4 , Jul 5, 2006
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      Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have an embarrassing confession to
      make. You may know me as "that lady who channels Ramtha" or as Zsa
      Zsa Gabor, my stage name. Over the last thirty years I've suckered
      tens of millions of dollars from the pockets of my stupid yet devoted
      followers, without ever being exactly honest with them.

      You see, I've never channeled Ramtha---and I feel guilty about that.
      That is, I never channeled the spirit of Ramtha, the 30,000 year old
      ascended master from Atlantis. It's all been a complete lie.
      Thousands of people all around the world have drastically altered
      their lives, ditched their husbands, abandon their families,
      bastardized their children, just so they could attend my initiate
      training academy in Yelm, WA.

      And what did I give them in return? I gave them lies, unbelievable,
      outrageous lies that only a five year old child would believe. I
      told them that the world was going to be deluged in flood, fire and
      earthquakes, and that only they, my cherished followers, would
      survive the environmental dooms day. What total nincompoops.

      Again, I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, it was so easy.
      Sometimes, when I think of all the sacrifices that my followers made,
      I want to hurt myself. I want to grab my neck and squeeze as hard as
      I can. Sometimes I want to strangle my followers, but mostly it's
      myself. If my followers weren't such stupid idiots, I would have
      confessed long, long ago; but they're such damned fools, it was like
      taking money from inebriated sailors on weekend furlough.

      The truth of the matter is, I've been channeling an auto mechanic for
      the last thirty years---not Ramtha. It physically hurts to say that,
      but it's true. His name is Ned and he's a grease monkey. In 1977 he
      died at a tractor pulling contest, when one of the chains snapped and
      hit him in the skull. On the same night, in 1977, I was screwing
      around with a ouji board, completely stoned out of my mind, when I
      made contact with his disembodied spirit. He said to me, "Got any
      beer?"
    • My2Cents
      Mathew is indeed developing his innate talents as a serious writer! Regarding JZ Knight s pursuits: Who was it who said to the effect There s a sucker born
      Message 2 of 4 , Jul 5, 2006
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        Mathew is indeed developing his innate talents as a serious writer!

        Regarding JZ Knight's pursuits:

        Who was it who said to the effect "There's a sucker born every minute"?

        Blessings,

        My2Cents

        --- On Wed 07/05, Mathew Morrell < tma4cbt@... > wrote:
        Ramtha Parody


        Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have an embarrassing confession to
        make. You may know me as "that lady who channels Ramtha" or as Zsa
        Zsa Gabor, my stage name. Over the last thirty years I've suckered
        tens of millions of dollars from the pockets of my stupid yet devoted
        followers, without ever being exactly honest with them.

        You see, I've never channeled Ramtha---and I feel guilty about that.
        That is, I never channeled the spirit of Ramtha, the 30,000 year old
        ascended master from Atlantis. It's all been a complete lie.
        Thousands of people all around the world have drastically altered
        their lives, ditched their husbands, abandon their families,
        bastardized their children, just so they could attend my initiate
        training academy in Yelm, WA.

        And what did I give them in return? I gave them lies, unbelievable,
        outrageous lies that only a five year old child would believe. I
        told them that the world was going to be deluged in flood, fire and
        earthquakes, and that only they, my cherished followers, would
        survive the environmental dooms day. What total nincompoops.

        Again, I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, it was so easy.
        Sometimes, when I think of all the sacrifices that my followers made,
        I want to hurt myself. I want to grab my neck and squeeze as hard as
        I can. Sometimes I want to strangle my followers, but mostly it's
        myself. If my followers weren't such stupid idiots, I would have
        confessed long, long ago; but they're such damned fools, it was like
        taking money from inebriated sailors on weekend furlough.

        The truth of the matter is, I've been channeling an auto mechanic for
        the last thirty years---not Ramtha. It physically hurts to say that,
        but it's true. His name is Ned and he's a grease monkey. In 1977 he
        died at a tractor pulling contest, when one of the chains snapped and
        hit him in the skull. On the same night, in 1977, I was screwing
        around with a ouji board, completely stoned out of my mind, when I
        made contact with his disembodied spirit. He said to me, "Got any
        beer?"






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        Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com
      • Durward Starman
        ******* That was from the great American philosopher P.T. Barnum. BTW, if you d like to hear a great parody of California New Age nuttiness, the Firesign
        Message 3 of 4 , Jul 5, 2006
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          ******* That was from the great American "philosopher" P.T. Barnum.

          BTW, if you'd like to hear a great parody of California New Age
          nuttiness, the Firesign Theater ----all the way back in the 1970s when it
          was all just starting ---- did an abum called "Everything You Know Is Wrong"
          (also a short film of the same name which I have a copy of, butwhich isn't
          easy to find like the album), in which the Art Bell-type radio wacko "Happy"
          Cox changes the saying a bit to more closely match the creed of snake-oil
          salesmen like Dan Brown, Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Swami Rajneesh and so many
          others: "There's a SEEKER born every minute." ;->

          Ah, all the more reason to try to introduce people to spirit
          science----the ruling paradigm of the West has become falsified and no
          longer answers the needs of the human soul, so people are seeking, and need
          to find their way to the real thing, as we know it is from experience.

          Starman

          www.DrStarman.com




          >
          >Regarding JZ Knight's pursuits:
          >
          >Who was it who said to the effect "There's a sucker born every minute"?
          >
          >Blessings,
          >
          >My2Cents
          >
          > --- On Wed 07/05, Mathew Morrell < tma4cbt@... > wrote:
          > Ramtha Parody
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