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Re: [steiner] Ramtha Parody

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  • LilOleMissy
    Geesh, Mathew - um - sounds A OK! er - do ya think maybe you could keep this Path but just get rid of those DAMocRATS? Lemme know - maybe we might even join
    Message 1 of 4 , May 21, 2005
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      Geesh, Mathew - um - sounds A OK! er - do ya think maybe you could keep this "Path" but just get rid of those DAMocRATS? Lemme know - maybe we might even join ya.

      Cheers!

      Sheila

      Mathew Morrell <tma4cbt@...> wrote:

      I don't know. I think having a guru might be cosmically beneficial,
      despite what Steiner says. After all, why think for yourself when
      someone can do it for you. Think about it. I just joined the Ramtha
      School of Enlightenment and already I feel as if I'm being initiated
      into tremendous spheres of pseudo knowledge. Under my new guru I've
      experienced many new realities that are all completely infinite. I've
      been abducted by aliens three times; my brain opened a quarter of an
      inch; I had an out-of-body experience at a doughnut shop; and my eye
      sight has improved. Through Ramtha I learned that positive thinking
      can move mountains, heal the sick, and get Democrats elected into the
      Senate. You see, we alone create our reality. We decide what exists
      and what doesn't. Truth, reality, objectivity, those are all lies
      made up by Grey Men. As a matter of fact we're currently living in
      millions of different parallel realities at this very moment, all of
      which are equally true and equally relevant.

      Decide which reality you prefer and live it, man! Down with reality
      and truth! Long live Ramtha!

       





       



       -Those who cannot hear the music think that the
         dancer is mad.
    • Mathew Morrell
      Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have an embarrassing confession to make. You may know me as that lady who channels Ramtha or as Zsa Zsa Gabor, my stage
      Message 2 of 4 , Jul 5 3:02 AM
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        Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have an embarrassing confession to
        make. You may know me as "that lady who channels Ramtha" or as Zsa
        Zsa Gabor, my stage name. Over the last thirty years I've suckered
        tens of millions of dollars from the pockets of my stupid yet devoted
        followers, without ever being exactly honest with them.

        You see, I've never channeled Ramtha---and I feel guilty about that.
        That is, I never channeled the spirit of Ramtha, the 30,000 year old
        ascended master from Atlantis. It's all been a complete lie.
        Thousands of people all around the world have drastically altered
        their lives, ditched their husbands, abandon their families,
        bastardized their children, just so they could attend my initiate
        training academy in Yelm, WA.

        And what did I give them in return? I gave them lies, unbelievable,
        outrageous lies that only a five year old child would believe. I
        told them that the world was going to be deluged in flood, fire and
        earthquakes, and that only they, my cherished followers, would
        survive the environmental dooms day. What total nincompoops.

        Again, I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, it was so easy.
        Sometimes, when I think of all the sacrifices that my followers made,
        I want to hurt myself. I want to grab my neck and squeeze as hard as
        I can. Sometimes I want to strangle my followers, but mostly it's
        myself. If my followers weren't such stupid idiots, I would have
        confessed long, long ago; but they're such damned fools, it was like
        taking money from inebriated sailors on weekend furlough.

        The truth of the matter is, I've been channeling an auto mechanic for
        the last thirty years---not Ramtha. It physically hurts to say that,
        but it's true. His name is Ned and he's a grease monkey. In 1977 he
        died at a tractor pulling contest, when one of the chains snapped and
        hit him in the skull. On the same night, in 1977, I was screwing
        around with a ouji board, completely stoned out of my mind, when I
        made contact with his disembodied spirit. He said to me, "Got any
        beer?"
      • My2Cents
        Mathew is indeed developing his innate talents as a serious writer! Regarding JZ Knight s pursuits: Who was it who said to the effect There s a sucker born
        Message 3 of 4 , Jul 5 7:03 AM
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          Mathew is indeed developing his innate talents as a serious writer!

          Regarding JZ Knight's pursuits:

          Who was it who said to the effect "There's a sucker born every minute"?

          Blessings,

          My2Cents

          --- On Wed 07/05, Mathew Morrell < tma4cbt@... > wrote:
          Ramtha Parody


          Hi, my name is JZ Knight---and I have an embarrassing confession to
          make. You may know me as "that lady who channels Ramtha" or as Zsa
          Zsa Gabor, my stage name. Over the last thirty years I've suckered
          tens of millions of dollars from the pockets of my stupid yet devoted
          followers, without ever being exactly honest with them.

          You see, I've never channeled Ramtha---and I feel guilty about that.
          That is, I never channeled the spirit of Ramtha, the 30,000 year old
          ascended master from Atlantis. It's all been a complete lie.
          Thousands of people all around the world have drastically altered
          their lives, ditched their husbands, abandon their families,
          bastardized their children, just so they could attend my initiate
          training academy in Yelm, WA.

          And what did I give them in return? I gave them lies, unbelievable,
          outrageous lies that only a five year old child would believe. I
          told them that the world was going to be deluged in flood, fire and
          earthquakes, and that only they, my cherished followers, would
          survive the environmental dooms day. What total nincompoops.

          Again, I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, it was so easy.
          Sometimes, when I think of all the sacrifices that my followers made,
          I want to hurt myself. I want to grab my neck and squeeze as hard as
          I can. Sometimes I want to strangle my followers, but mostly it's
          myself. If my followers weren't such stupid idiots, I would have
          confessed long, long ago; but they're such damned fools, it was like
          taking money from inebriated sailors on weekend furlough.

          The truth of the matter is, I've been channeling an auto mechanic for
          the last thirty years---not Ramtha. It physically hurts to say that,
          but it's true. His name is Ned and he's a grease monkey. In 1977 he
          died at a tractor pulling contest, when one of the chains snapped and
          hit him in the skull. On the same night, in 1977, I was screwing
          around with a ouji board, completely stoned out of my mind, when I
          made contact with his disembodied spirit. He said to me, "Got any
          beer?"






          _______________________________________________
          No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
          Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com
        • Durward Starman
          ******* That was from the great American philosopher P.T. Barnum. BTW, if you d like to hear a great parody of California New Age nuttiness, the Firesign
          Message 4 of 4 , Jul 5 8:14 AM
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            ******* That was from the great American "philosopher" P.T. Barnum.

            BTW, if you'd like to hear a great parody of California New Age
            nuttiness, the Firesign Theater ----all the way back in the 1970s when it
            was all just starting ---- did an abum called "Everything You Know Is Wrong"
            (also a short film of the same name which I have a copy of, butwhich isn't
            easy to find like the album), in which the Art Bell-type radio wacko "Happy"
            Cox changes the saying a bit to more closely match the creed of snake-oil
            salesmen like Dan Brown, Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Swami Rajneesh and so many
            others: "There's a SEEKER born every minute." ;->

            Ah, all the more reason to try to introduce people to spirit
            science----the ruling paradigm of the West has become falsified and no
            longer answers the needs of the human soul, so people are seeking, and need
            to find their way to the real thing, as we know it is from experience.

            Starman

            www.DrStarman.com




            >
            >Regarding JZ Knight's pursuits:
            >
            >Who was it who said to the effect "There's a sucker born every minute"?
            >
            >Blessings,
            >
            >My2Cents
            >
            > --- On Wed 07/05, Mathew Morrell < tma4cbt@... > wrote:
            > Ramtha Parody
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