The Green Snake and The Beautiful [Unfortunate] Lily
- Dear Friends,
There are times when levity is the Spice of Life! Thanks to D. :)
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them
a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass
hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out
the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The
husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to
what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that
family dog came and cold-nosed him. He thought the snake had
bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him
lie still and called an ambulance . The attendants rushed in, wouldn't
listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started
him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the
Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
rolled-up ! newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided
was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in
relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the
snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back
under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out,
tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke
woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor
his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the
She went to the kitchen and got a small ! bottle of whiskey, and began
pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They
the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken
had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried
explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his
wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the sofa. One
policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over
the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the
drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell
the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped
and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the burning drapes were
by the neighbors and they called the fire department, and the arriving
truck had started raising its ladder when they were halfway down the
street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
but they did get the house fire out.
Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was
repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was
right with their world. A while later they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his
if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
That's when she shot him.