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why did the chicken cross the road?

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  • Mathew Morrell
    Why did the chicken cross the road? ... Because the chicken was gay! ... To die. In the rain. ... I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
    Message 1 of 4 , Oct 10, 2002
      Why did the chicken cross the road?

      > PAT BUCHANAN
      > To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

      > JERRY FALWELL
      Because the chicken was gay!

      > DR. SEUSS
      > Did the chicken cross the road?
      > Did he cross it with a toad?
      > Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
      > but why it crossed, I've not been told!

      > ERNEST HEMINGWAY
      To die. In the rain.

      > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
      I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
      without
      > having their motives called into question.

      > GRANDPA
      In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
      told
      > us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
      us.

      > ARISTOTLE
      > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

      > KARL MARX
      It was a historical inevitability.

      > SADDAM HUSSEIN
      This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
      dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

      > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
      To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

      FOX MULDER
      You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
      have
      > to cross before you believe it?

      > FREUD
      The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
      road
      > reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

      > BILL GATES
      I have just released eChicken 2002, which will not only cross roads,
      but
      > will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
      checkbook.
      > AND, as an added bonus, Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
      eChicken.

      > EINSTEIN
      Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
      chicken?

      > BILL CLINTON
      I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
      "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please? It was not smoking a
      Cuban.

      > AL GORE
      I invented road crossing. In fact, I was the first one to prod
      chickens
      > to cross roads.

      > LOUIS FARRAKHAN
      The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
      crossed the
      "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

      > THE BIBLE
      >
      > And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
      chicken, "Thou
      > shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
      was
      > much rejoicing.

      > COLONEL SANDERS
      I missed one?




      (How would Steiner answere the question, of why did the chicken cross
      the road?)
    • DRStarman2001@aol.com
      In a message dated 10/11/2002 12:28:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time, ... Its astral body told it it was time to start migrating. http://www.DrStarman.net
      Message 2 of 4 , Oct 11, 2002
        In a message dated 10/11/2002 12:28:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time, tma4cbt@... writes:



        (How would Steiner answere the question, of why did the chicken cross
        the road?)



        Its astral body told it it was time to start migrating.
        http://www.DrStarman.net
      • golden3000997@cs.com
        The first time, he did it just because it was there. He felt at one with the road and he crossed it without thinking. The next time he came to the road, he
        Message 3 of 4 , Oct 11, 2002
          The first time, he did it just because it was there. He felt at one with the
          road and he crossed it without thinking.

          The next time he came to the road, he realized that there were TWO sides to
          the road and that he was on one side and didn't really know what was on the
          other side. He didn't cross over, because he didn't know what he would find,
          if anything.

          The third time, he studied the situation and came to the conclusion that
          there WAS something over there, but he could never know for sure what it was.
          All who followed him thereafter failed to cross the road.

          The fourth time, he felt weighed down by a sense of responsibility and felt
          it was his duty to cross the road, whether he liked it or not. It was his
          fate. He went through a lot of depression over this.

          The fifth time, he came to the realization that, although he had some karma
          with the road, he could, in time, come to perceive what really lay on the
          other side and that he was totally free in his decision as to whether or not
          to make the crossing. He crossed over in perfect freedom, although accepting
          the responsibility for his action.
        • Mathew Morrell
          Why did the chicken cross the road? Rudolph Steiner: Circa 1998 there shall rise a chicken of fierce countenance, and he will cross and re-cross the road
          Message 4 of 4 , Oct 11, 2002
            Why did the chicken cross the road?

            Rudolph Steiner:


            Circa 1998 there shall rise a chicken of fierce countenance, and he
            will cross and re-cross the road whenever he so chooseth, for he will
            be the first, vertical, upright chicken, a thing of blasphemy,
            walking on two legs over dug outs and baseball diamonds where he
            torrments small children and umpires. Let him who hath understanding
            count the number of this beast, for it is the number of the San Diego
            Chicken, and his number is 666.
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