What God has to say about Marriage (from Standing Firm)
- WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY ABOUT MARRIAGE -
Every week I receive emails asking questions on God's will for a
particular marriage. Each person responds that they know what God's
Word says concerning marriage BUT their circumstances are such and
such, therefore they can do such and such, all contrary to Word of
God. These comments have me wondering if these individuals really do
understand what God's Word has to say about marriage, divorce and
remarriage. In view of the volume of mail I receive on the subject,
I feel that a view of God's commands concerning marriage is in
The first obstacle I encounter is the notion that God's laws do not
apply to non-believers. God is the creator of the universe and
everything in it. His laws concerning His creation are not dependent
upon the state of a person's heart. God's laws apply equally to non-
believers and believers. Using the excuse, "I was a non-believer
when I was married three times" does not exempt this individual from
the laws of God concerning marriage and divorce.
Given this understanding of the applicability of God's laws, what
does He have to say about the covenant of marriage?
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will
make a helper suitable for him.'"
As God created man for fellowship with Him, He also created woman so
that the man would have a suitable companion.
"But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused
the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he
took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then
the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man,
and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my
bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman" for she is
taken out of man.'"
God instituted marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. They were made
perfect for each other. Marriage was not a creation of man or any
culture, but was the creation of God to bless His children. God
takes marriage very seriously. The next verse states God's view
concerning His wishes regarding the marriage covenant He created...
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
In the Old Testament divorce, remarriage and multiple marriages had
crept into the Jewish culture. Jesus addressed this issue by
"'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the
Creator "made them male and female,"' and said, "For this reason a
man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh?" So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.'"
The individuals questioning Jesus where trying to trick Him into
speaking against Jewish laws and customs, so they pressured Him
about Moses allowing divorce...
"'Why then,' they asked, 'did Moses command that a man give his wife
a certificate of divorce and send her away?' Jesus replied, 'Moses
permitted you to divorce you wives because your hearts were hard.
But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone
who divorces his wife...and marries another woman commits adultery.'"
In just a few sentences, Jesus reinforces God's original plan for
marriage...one man, one woman, for life. He also says that divorce
and remarriage is the SIN of adultery. Lest you think that
remarriage is a one-time act of adultery, which can be repented and
then continued, consider the story of the woman that was to be
stoned for the act of adultery...
"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught
in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to
Jesus, 'Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In
the Law of Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. Now what do you
say?' Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his
finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and
said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the
first to throw a stone at her.' At this, those who heard began to go
away one at a time...until only Jesus was left, with the woman still
standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, 'Woman, where
are they? Has no one condemned you?' 'No one, sir,' she said. 'Then
neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared, 'Go now and leave your
life of sin.'"
This story most often is used to show that we all are sinners and we
are not to condemn others for their sins. It also shows God's mercy
to sinners through His forgiveness of our misdeeds. However, do not
overlook the words of Jesus in the last verse of this story, "Go now
and leave your life of sin." Jesus did not tell this woman, "Your
sin of adultery is forgiven, go continue as you have been doing."
No, Jesus expects us to turn from our life of sin when we come to
the realization that our actions are not in keeping the commands
given to us in God's Word.
So if marriage is a permanent covenant according to God's Word, what
does God have to say about divorce?
"'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God"
"By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is
alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of
marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is
still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies,
she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though
she marries another man."
So God hates divorce, only death breaks the marriage covenant and
remarriage while a spouse is still alive is adultery. Why is this so
difficult to understand? Why are the divorced being remarried in the
church when scripture specifically prohibits it? God is not happy
with those in the church preaching theology contrary to His Word.
"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to
sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung
around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
In spite of clear doctrine to the contrary, divorce still happens.
What does Gods Word have to say concerning those that are divorced?
"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife
must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain
unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must
not divorce his wife."
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
God gives the divorced two choices: reconcile or remain single. The
only exception allowing a person to remarry is if their spouse has
died. Why are pulpits silent on this clear teaching from the Word of
God? Lord forgive us for our disobedience of your Word.
In closing, many say that the Lord has told them to give up on their
marriages, to stop standing, and often to remarry. The test to see
if what you are hearing is in fact from God, check it out against
His Word. God cannot contradict himself. If what you are hearing
disagrees with the commands in God's Word, it is NOT from God. Satan
wants nothing better than for you to give up on your marriage. Why
does he wish this? Because He knows by breaking up your family the
battle is not over if you continue to stand for your marriage. He
knows that in the end, he will lose when you are standing in
agreement with God for the healing of your marriage. Anything he
can do to sway you away from Biblical teaching will help ensure his
victory. The only way Satan can get at God is through the
disobedience of His children.
Remember, that you are only defeated when you give up. Continue to
fight and pray for your home. Do not be deceived by the evil one
into giving up. Do not believe in the falsehood that God has someone
better for you. God has someone better for you; your one-flesh mate
when He cleans her up and brings her home. I am standing in
agreement with you, praying for you and your spouse. Many blessings
are in store for you when you are obedient to your marriage vows and
"If you love me, you will keep my commandments."
God bless you, O faithful and obedient man of God!What is God's design for marriage? I believe that God hates divorce and we as women should do all we can toward standing for our marriage. This is a group that through prayer and support from each other we will grow together as God would have us to do.
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