An Outpouring Of Concern For Fathima Faika
- There has been an outpouring of concern to the article titled "Prayers For My Sons" by Ranee Mohamed, in our issue of February 21. This `reaching out' to help a woman in tears has conveyed to Fathima Faika that she is not alone in her search for her two sons.
Fathima Faika is a bruised and battered young mother who has not given up on life and living despite her traumatic marriage a marriage in which was was allegedly assaulted at every turn. "We would drive from Kandy with my young sons and immediately on our return I had to start cooking. I was not allowed to even change my clothes. The table had to be laid to perfection too. On such a day if I failed to put a new cake of soap in the bathroom, I would be beaten mercilessly. I hate to be beaten because my sons had to sleep without me as I would have to get medical treatment again and again. I remember one day there was a sudden water cut and the clothes were soaking. He threw his hot tea at my face and plunged at me because I had not washed the clothes. If my four year old son spilled rice on the table while eating, he would beat me and shout at me calling me a 'sakkiliya' who has not brought up my children properly," recalled Faika in tears.
Despite having had to undergo a seven and a half hour long surgery as a result of her `married life' and having been harassed, abused, beaten, traumatised and thrown to the streets, Fathima Faika has not given up. She strides on .
"There was a time when I was crying and walking down every street in Colombo with photos of my sons in hand. But now I know that I am not alone. I wish to thank The Sunday Leader and everyone who has reached out to me. I have also read the emails that have been going around and the `banding together' to help me.
Among the first to contact Fathima Faika was Azad Sally, former deputy mayor of Colombo and current UPFA candidate. Having contacted the writer, Azad Sally was quick to get through to Faika. "I am wondering why and how all this injustice took place and how much political influence a person in the `opposition' has used. The police have not acted, the immigration have not acted. I have called for a full investigation by the IGP," said Sally.
Despite having to hand over his nominations at 9.30 a.m. Sally found time amidst all his work to accompany Fathima Faika to the Malaysian High Commission to discuss her case because she believes that her children are in Malaysia. "She is always talking about her children and crying for them day and night. I know it is difficult for a woman to live without her children but it is time that we took her mind off this for the moment, and continue the search," said Azad Sally who suggests that Faika be employed.
Former sportsman, businessman, rights activist and an authority on Muslim Religious Affairs, Dr. Zurfick Ghouse reaching out to Fathima Faika is now investigating why the police have not acted on the complaints made by Fathima Faika. I have also discussed this matter with DIG K.P.B Pathirana who has assured me that they will look into the matter," said Dr. Ghouse.
"We must also ask assistance from Allah in this matter for nothing can happen without his assistance," said Dr. Zurfick Ghouse.
Dr. Mareena Thaha Reffai, Coordinator Sri Lanka Association for Muslim Women and Girls, Al Muslimath contacting the writer said that she wishes to help Fathima Faika. "It is completely wrong for a husband to beat his wife. Women ought to know how to avoid this kind of situation," said Dr. Reffai. She also went on to point out that according to Islamic Law the husband has no right to keep the children. "This amounts to kidnapping. The children automatically go to the wife, unless it is proven that she is not a good mother. I am thankful to The Leader for highlighting her case. But we should also suggest places where women in such distress can go to," said Dr. Reffai.
Fathima Faika and the writer also thank Mohamed Rahamathulla, Ismael Marikar, Mohammed Farouk, Mohammed Haniffa, Muslim Watch and a special word of thanks must also be given to Abdul Aleem Yoosuf for telling us all of the characteristics of a Muslim husband, thereby bringing about a touch of romance to all this turbulence
Characteristics of a Muslim husband
No one ever thinks about the characteristics of a Muslim husband. It is always what a wife should do for the husband and the list never ends; home management, tutoring, ferrying the kids, caring, cooking, cleaning, washing, working, you name it, she is doing it. So what about the brothers?
Our beloved Prophet was not like this. So I thought I'd share with you the characteristics of a Muslim husband
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pyjamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (PBUH) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it `bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day which brings no attention from the husband until she does something to `bug' him.. Don't treat her like this; recognise all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong in your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (PBUH) used when he would see something inappropriate in his wives (R.A). It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (PBUH) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even when he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and does a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognise what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (PBUH) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (PBUH) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (PBUH): `The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.' Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah ta'ala to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best!!