- Respected & Revered Guru Maharaj,
>Dear Madhusudan Prabhu,
>Please accept my most humble obeisances and forgive my countless offenses I
>have commited at your lotus feet.
>Today, I ld like to tell you a few things and ask something, which is
>rooted in the core of my heart and I want to get it clear from your
> Its about one year that I have entered in grahastha-ashram and have
>experienced all miseries and mysteries of a house hold life, i.e. its role
>in deviating from the path of devotion, over responsibilities, to be forced
>to serve maya, etc, etc. Over all I have found it as an obstacle in
>devotional life. Recently I read A RAY OF VISHNU, a biography of Pujyapad
>Om Vishunupad Paramhams 108 Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Goswami
>Prabhupad Maharaj. I found some very heavy statements of Srila Prabhupada
>in it. Conclusively as My mind is pre-occupied in grahastha-ashram. I
>noticed that practically I am not meant for grahastha ashram either, nor do
>I , for sanyasa ashram, as yet I have to control the mind and senses.
> I have compared my previous time ( as a bhramacari in ISKCON ashram) and
>the present days ( grahastha ashram) and found that though bewildered but
>that time had enough time & enthusiasm along with regularity, in my sadhna.
>BUT today I am forced to serve maya and thus am deviated from the path of
>devotion. WHAT shall one do in such circumstances ?
> As I am a grahastha , I have to work outside for my earnings and survival
>( to keep the body and soul together). Thats why I am forced to associate
>with materialistic, moreover, with bad association and non-devotees, which
>is harmful for my devotional life.
> This grahastha ashram gas attacked my regularity and Sadhna. ( Though my
>wife is calm, and of good character, and a very good devotee by heart ) .
> The desire in the core of my heart is to accept Vanaprastha ashram, as
>we dont have any child , NOR WE DESIRE to have any. Thus whatever I will
>perform as a devotion to the Lord and Sri Sri Guru- Gauranga, 50 % of that
>will be automatically her share and at the same time she will continue her
>devotional life with her in-laws or with her parents ( wherever she likes
>). IS It possible Guru Maharaj?
> Even though, I have seen twice in my dreams that I am paying my obeisances
>( dandavat pranams) unto you in sanyasa dress!!
> My nature is also not favourable for a house hold life , i.e.,
>INTROSPECTIVE., I liker to be alone chanting Hare Krishna Mahamantra or in
>association of exalted devotees or likely devotees.. But right now ,I am
>forced to work like an ass in order to serve maya ; though I want to serve
>Lord Hari!! WHAT A MISERY for me ??
>I can understand Its ,my own karma, which are forcing me in such
>circumstances , but I NEED you help,
>Your Loving Care,
> I NEED your causeless mercy in my such a PITY condition. There is no
>other shelter for me, other then your lotus feet. I even, dont want to
>surpass the vedic rules and regulations nor I want to hurt any ones
>feelings, viz., my wife, her parents, or anyone else like her relatives,
>friends , or well wishers in the Maths.)
>Kindly Guide me.
>Your shelter is the Ultimate Solution to my All sorts of Problems .
>Yours the most Fallen SERVANT and An Unqualified Disciple
Dandvat Pranam. This is the reply of Srila Gurudeva for you and below is the reply which was sent to you earlier by mistake, which Gurudeva gave, due to my mistake, for Madhusudan Das of Moscow :-
I received your letter dated 1st February, 2002, sent by e-mail to Tamalkrishna Das and noted the contents.
Pravåttir eñä bhütänäà
nivåttis tu mahä-phalä
Ordinarily, human beings are eligible for Pravritti marg, i.e., a household married life. The root cause of the conditioned souls for their getting 84 lacs of species is aversion to Supreme Lord Sree Krishna. After passing through 80 lacs of births, one can get precious human birth, which is congenial for worship of Supreme Lord, because of the discriminating power given by Lord to human being. A human being has the power of discrimination between good and bad, eternal and non-eternal etc. After passing through cycles of births, the impressions of the force of sense-gratification also persists. Even western people know human being has got animilaty and also rationality. It is very difficult for conditioned souls to restrain animal instinct of sense gratification. So most of the human beings are entitled to Pravritti marg, i.e., to worship Supreme Lord remaining in Pravritti marg. A conditioned soul remaining in Pravritti marg cannot devote his full energy for the service of Supreme Lord because he must give his attention for the maintenance of the family.
Vedic injunction is the injunction of Supreme Lord. Those who are unable to restrain sex desire are not entitled for Vanaprastha or Sannyas ashram. From Brahmacharya ashram, if anybody wants to accept household life, he can do it taking permission of Guru. In vedic order, a wife is considered to be Bhäryyä. At the time of marriage, husband takes the responsibility of maintaining wife. Puträrthe kriyate bhäryyä. It is stated in the scriptures, one can marry for getting child, but he is to observe all regulations enjoined by the Vedas. This is also a religious life. One should not marry for sense-gratification only.
After marriage, nobody is sure that he will get a son or not. That depends upon Lords will. To my opinion, it will not be good for you to change it. Both of you, remaining in an ideal household life, should worship Krishna and His devotees.
In India, after 50 years of age, one can accept Vanaprastha ashram and not before that. Even in Vanaprastha ashram, one can observe it with or without wife. Although Nivritti marg, i.e., Sannyas ashram is congenial for engaging, devoting all time for worship of Krishna and nothing else, but this sort of competent person is rarely to be found in this world. After Sannyas ashram, nobody can go back to household life. If anybody comes back from Sannyas to household life, it will be a spiritual fall. So it is not wise to take a sudden decision of accepting Sannyas ashram.
An actually bonafide surrendered soul is protected by Supreme Lord Sree Krishna, whether he is in Grishastha ashram or he has accepted ascetic order. We are peaceful when we see adjustment under all circumstances. We cannot make the environment adjusted to us, but we are to adjust ourselves with the environment. A conditioned soul reaps the fruit of his own actions, good or bad. It is my advice, it will be good for you not to take any decision by your own initiative. You should continue to pray the grace of Guru, Vsishnavas, Personal Associates of Gauranga Mahaprabhu Shadgoswamis and specially, Nityananda Prabhu and Gauranga Mahaprabhu. Depend on Them absolutely and I am sure, They will do whatever is beneficial for your eternal welfare. They are All-Merciful and All-Powerful. I myself after joining the institution as an ascetic, submitted my prayer to Most Revered Gurudeva, to give me proper advice and He advised me Saranagati is the best medicine of all problems.
As I am busy here, I have got no time to speak more on this matter. Supreme Lord Sree Krishna willing, if I come in contact with you, I shall speak to you in detail.
Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha