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Fear of (???)

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  • soldreth
    I am a college student living in a dorm. I serve as Resident Advisor for my floor. I am a caucasian, middle-class male whose parents pay for most of his
    Message 1 of 2 , Nov 28, 2005
      I am a college student living in a dorm. I serve as Resident Advisor
      for my floor. I am a caucasian, middle-class male whose parents pay
      for most of his tuition. The issue that concerns me is that I am
      afraid of being in my room and using my things. I have a nice laptop
      computer that I paid $2000 for and a flatscreen external monitor, as
      well as a television and DVD player. My room is also unusually clean
      for the typical college student.

      I feel a very conscious fear of having my room open - not because I am
      afraid that someone would steal it, or that they would be angry with
      me, but because of something else. The closest way for me to describe
      it is "guilt." I feel guilty because so much in my life is paid for.

      Recently I've been able to realize that I'm not just getting a "free
      ride." My ancestors worked very hard for several generations before
      my family reached its current status of "middle-class" in the social
      hierarchy of the US. When my ancestors arrived in North America they
      had next to nothing.

      Having the knowledge that my "free ride" came at a great toil that
      took several generations to complete doesn't really eliminate the
      feeling of guilt I have. The reality is that I have some very nice
      things, and other people do not. Other people have to work their ass
      off at multiple jobs just to keep going to school.

      The end result is that I feel guilty - why should I just be able to
      drive down the paved road in a used car when other people have to
      _walk_ down a dirt path filled with struggle? Every time my door is
      open and someone who is breaking their back to stay in school walks
      in, and here I am typing on my expensive computer, I am filled with guilt.

      Do I just ignore the feeling? Is it normal? Can logic override it?
      What can I do to deal with this issue?
    • Rachelle C.
      i think that s just psychological..you need to focus on other things to help your mind rid of that guilt feeling ..if you ask me, that s really something you
      Message 2 of 2 , Nov 28, 2005
        i think that's just psychological..you need to focus
        on other things to help your mind rid of that "guilt
        feeling"..if you ask me, that's really something you
        should not take into heart..the best thing you can do
        now, is make good use of the blessings that you have
        (to think very few in this world are blessed with what
        you have)..you can snag a pal to air your feelings to
        or have someone like a psychologist or a mentor listen
        to you..if matters get worse, a therapist would be
        very commendable..

        --- soldreth <Avatar1123@...> wrote:

        > I am a college student living in a dorm. I serve as
        > Resident Advisor
        > for my floor. I am a caucasian, middle-class male
        > whose parents pay
        > for most of his tuition. The issue that concerns me
        > is that I am
        > afraid of being in my room and using my things. I
        > have a nice laptop
        > computer that I paid $2000 for and a flatscreen
        > external monitor, as
        > well as a television and DVD player. My room is
        > also unusually clean
        > for the typical college student.
        >
        > I feel a very conscious fear of having my room open
        > - not because I am
        > afraid that someone would steal it, or that they
        > would be angry with
        > me, but because of something else. The closest way
        > for me to describe
        > it is "guilt." I feel guilty because so much in my
        > life is paid for.
        >
        > Recently I've been able to realize that I'm not just
        > getting a "free
        > ride." My ancestors worked very hard for several
        > generations before
        > my family reached its current status of
        > "middle-class" in the social
        > hierarchy of the US. When my ancestors arrived in
        > North America they
        > had next to nothing.
        >
        > Having the knowledge that my "free ride" came at a
        > great toil that
        > took several generations to complete doesn't really
        > eliminate the
        > feeling of guilt I have. The reality is that I have
        > some very nice
        > things, and other people do not. Other people have
        > to work their ass
        > off at multiple jobs just to keep going to school.
        >
        > The end result is that I feel guilty - why should I
        > just be able to
        > drive down the paved road in a used car when other
        > people have to
        > _walk_ down a dirt path filled with struggle? Every
        > time my door is
        > open and someone who is breaking their back to stay
        > in school walks
        > in, and here I am typing on my expensive computer, I
        > am filled with guilt.
        >
        > Do I just ignore the feeling? Is it normal? Can
        > logic override it?
        > What can I do to deal with this issue?
        >
        >
        >
        >







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