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PH kid describes bad experience

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  • Ken
    This is a post by rockstar 645 posted on the message board Escape From the Fellowship. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Escape_from_the_Fellowship/
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 16, 2013

      This is a post by rockstar 645 posted on the message board Escape From the Fellowship. 


      This message is fairly unique as it is the description of Wayman's World from the perspective of someone who grew up in it, and eventually left it. Once again, the wickedness of that religious group is apparent. 


      just wanted to thank you for having this message board out there for ex-members
      or members who are questioning, curious about leaving or have already left. I am
      writing because I want to support this group in their effort to warn those who
      are considering spending the rest of their life in that mess of a church
      organization. These posts have really confirmed every doubt I ever suspected
      that something is really wrong with the Potters House. I noticed that you were
      interested in what it is like for someone who grew up all their life in the PH,
      and I am a former PH pastor's kid who experienced it firsthand and it really is
      as bad as it is described here. From what my brothers and I experienced, it was
      senseless, useless doctrine to be raised under and the fellowship was the cause
      of so much dysfunction during my childhood that had to do with the way my
      siblings received unnecessary and ineffective discipline. The
      brainwashed-beyond-repair PH members who made their own decision to be there are
      different from their children who had no choice. Many PH kids may or may not
      agree with my perspective, but I think that is because they don't know another
      reality and are too sheltered to have any comparison of what their life would
      really be like "in the world". It is true that it is difficult to function in
      real life if you really believe what PH teaches. They think that their way is
      the only way to live because it is all they know when all it really comes down
      to is trusting your own reason and common sense, which is hard to do if you are
      either not in your right mind, insecure, vulnerable, naive, uncertain,
      questioning... if you are in a place like this, PH would like to take advantage
      of it and sign you up for life, and teach your kids and family to become
      co-dependent on church and the pastor. Be prepared for a life where you allow
      the pastor to make you feel guilty about things you should not feel guilty for.
      When you raise your kids with the intention of them having a better life than
      you did, the answer is not the Potter's House. It is one big scam. I really am
      sharing my experience out of pity for others who were raised and had to endure
      this kind of childhood and to say that you are not alone and I hope you all get
      out and move past what happened and live successful, happy lives of your own
      without having to be miserable and waste all your life in a church you were
      forced into by your parents. I might add that most of my family are still there
      with their spiritual blindfolds on since the 70s and 80s, and it hasn't done
      them much good besides being a waste of time and energy. So this may all be in
      vain but if it warns even one person, then I guess I haven't wasted my time with

      My dad pastored a CFM church for 10 years that only experienced only one growth
      spurt beyond about 100-150 people for a 6 month period. Then it trickled back
      down to about 20 people within a year and only half would show up for service...
      It was a really sad effort and I saw my parents frustration and anger that there
      weren't any new members or that somehow we were all doing something wrong
      because the church wasn't successful. If they couldn't get people to come to
      church and live a life the way the church wants them to then all of a sudden the
      mother church points a finger at the pastor, and they will make some irrational
      excuse to disrupt the pastor's life as "punishment" for their church not being
      successful. There is no real source for the guidance they give on how to raise
      kids or have a marriage or anything; pastors pull advice out of their ass using
      a cookie-cutter approach for counseling that one size fits all, that the next
      person is no different from the last - everyone is perverted, sinful and their
      whole family is going to hell unless they do what the pastor says. They use
      reverse psychology and say you can leave any time you want, but the pastors have
      extreme disdain for those who leave and they do get really hurt and bitter over
      it, even though they won't admit it, and that is why they address rebellion so
      much because they know that people really think about leaving and they will. I
      have heard pastors the way they talk about people in the church as if it were
      their only entertainment like they are describing a soap opera and instead of
      dealing with each individual question in a professional, confidential way, they
      go around bragging about how they gave someone a dose of the truth, which is
      always the same medicine - prayer and an earful of PH prescriptions - blame the
      devil, the TV, the Idols in your home, some bad spirit your or your kid has,
      the clothes you wear, etc. What happens behind closed doors in counseling
      sessions does not stay there by the way. CFMers ignore the accounts of people
      who leave and are doing well for themselves. You will only hear the bad things
      that happen - in fact, most of the stories are made up as scare tactics to keep
      members around. Anyone who has heard from a CFM minister that it is ok to leave
      probably should leave immediately for their own good and the good of their
      family. I am embarrassed for those with weak minds who actually believe the
      pastors. It isn't difficult to make their sermons up if you learn the rhetoric
      and follow them around learning mannerisms and pretty soon you will be a good
      clone and make it successful in the fellowship. The decisions that are made for
      you by your pastor are usually never in the best interest of your family,
      decisions are made in the best interest of the organization and the pastor so he
      can take all the credit for you being where you are. The main focus was on
      recruitment of impressionable, young people who have nothing else going for
      them, and who didn't have anyone with enough sense to raise them right, give
      them a good life or someone didn't care enough to get them away from this
      dangerous cult. Needless to say, all of the bad decisons my parents made while
      parenting were because of this awful church. Most of my spankings/beatings were
      because I didn't stay awake in church or because I listened to non-Christian
      music or because I snuck out to watch cartoons at my relative's house. My
      eldest brother got the worst end of the stick because he was sent to Santa Fe
      boot camp. The poor guy came back with horror stories that frightened me so much
      and my parents would threaten to send me there if I didn't get "right" with God.
      He had it the worst and I'm sorry to say he is still struggling to recover from
      CFM abusive parenting methods.What it really came down to was how much we could
      get away with behind my parents back and being afraid to piss them off all the
      time, and it isn't hard to piss off your parents if you are the unlucky child of
      a psycho-brainwashed PH member. But it isn't healthy if all you do is make your
      kids afraid of you. If your a PH Kid you learn the ropes really well. It doesn't
      take a spiritual experience to know you can pretend having the holy spirit,
      eebie jeebies, and faking the whole speaking in tongues routine. I passed my
      parent's judgment by faking it: going and taking a nap at the alter call,
      pretending to knock on doors while passing out flyers at outreach and just
      saying no one was home, and all of it was very exhausting but I survived having
      the sense to know it wasn't forever and using my mind to study, educate/inform
      myself to get far away from that life.

      My parents used to get really upset if we didn't "witness" to our friends at
      school and they always accused us of being sinful and worldly if we didn't bring
      our friends to church. You could hear the desperation for converts and the
      frustration that comes with being disappointed over people who eventually leave.
      The only loss really was the relationship with my parents didn't have much
      substance other than how they defined it according to fellowship standards. It
      is like they lost any identity of their own outside the church. The CFM pastors
      are self-centered and they only do what they do for their own glory; You and
      your family are only a number/resource to them. They say God saved you and God
      is moving in your life, when there is no quantifiable evidence to justify that.
      They will make people think that they "owe" the church and pastor something for
      realizing this awakening belief, when in reality, the "saved" individual is the
      only one putting the effort and making the decision to change their own life,
      yet the PH enjoys takes all the credit for "changed lives, " when really all
      that happened was your life changed because you actually became sober and got a
      job and a family, not because your pastor did it for you or because you went to
      church or even because you believe in God. I remind my parents all the time that
      I am where I am because of what love they gave me, they were the ones who caught
      me when I fell, comforted me and wiped my tears when I cried, who were there for
      me in my house growing up, not the church, not the idiot pastor we had or
      anybody else. I give them positive credit because I am tired of the fellowship
      telling them they were bad parents by their fellowship peers telling them that
      their grown adult children aren't serving god. My parents being severely
      brainwashed and stripped of all self-esteem by "headship" somehow think that
      they failed when I left the church and that I was cursing myself because I left.
      It was painful when my own brother and father called me a whore to my face
      because I had a non-Christian boyfriend who wasn't in church, but I can tellyou
      he treated me with alot more respect than any guy I ever met in any PH church.
      If you are a woman in the PH church, you are second-class citizen - all you are
      good for is marrying their disciple goons and making babies. Your biggest dream
      will be to become a pastor's wife... If your husband fucks up with headship,
      then they will hire your lawyer for the divorce, move you out of state and
      assign you another husband. Too bad most members are too stupid to fight for
      their rights in court. If your husband has more time for church than he has to
      spend time with you and your kids, you will make it in CFM. I'm glad I married a
      guy who promised me we will never join any church, ever! As time went on, I made
      my own life and I've come very far from where I started with nothing and all of
      my family cut me off for a good six months before my family started calling me
      again and coming around. I'm educated, working on a professional degree,
      independent, going places, happily married (to a non-CFMer, very supportive
      family man), free and making more annual income than both my parents combined,
      and now that I am in a good place in life, my family is no longer ashamed, and
      they don't have any problem taking the credit for raising me, funny! But even
      though they are confused how this could happen, how could I be doing fine
      without the church? their only logical justification for it is that I'm blessed
      because they pray for me. Somehow they find a way to give the PH credit for the
      positive. I've even challenged them not to pray for me and see what happens, but
      that is kind of cruel because psychologically they can't disattach themself from
      justifying anything that isn't fellowship-based or they can't believe any
      phenomenon that can't be explained by a CFM pastor...

      The church requires members to stand up and give a testimony if anything
      positive happens to them because they want you to believe it wasn't you that
      made these things happen, God did. This enforces their method of taking all the
      credit for things you've done on your own. If anything bad happens like getting
      sick or losing your job, It is always something that ends up being your fault
      that you didn't do something right: maybe you didn't punish your kids enough,
      maybe you aren't having enough outreaches or revivals or seminars or concerts,
      maybe you have a demon spirit etc., either way you are a still sinning and they
      will hold it over your head and torture you by saying that nothing good is
      happening because of some hidden sin or something you are doing wrong when
      usually its because you are so stressed and spending so much time going to
      church, giving money and not focusing on your own life goals and dreams. If you
      want blessing and success in life, you have to put in the work for it, no one
      can do it for you. Not even God. You are wasting your time hanging out with
      people from the Door / PH. Its going to drag you down if you give your tithes
      for so long and go to church so much and then no financial blessing ever
      happens. Imagine if you saved 10% of your income every year and put it into your
      retirement account. Imagine what your blessings would be like 30 years from now.
      Or you can end up like my parents who are still going and believing for a
      miracle and it hasn't done a damn thing besides give them a story of how they no
      longer drink alcohol, party or smoke pot when the last time they did that was in
      high school. It's nice that they want to inspire others to make lifestyle
      changes, but it should not include signing your life away and replacing a
      miserable life with an even more miserable one in which you will toil and suffer
      just as much. It's like believing in magic or gambling. To the people who still
      believe the nonsense spouted over the pulpit and putting their time and energy
      into the CFM machine will get them anywhere in life, you are in for a BIG
      disappointment. I know this because of my parents testimony (parrot story) how
      they got saved and turned their lives around in the 70s before I was even born.
      But now there is nothing to show for it... besides me and my siblings of course
      ;) I have nothing but pity for all those people still at CFM because they are
      letting themselves struggle for a belief, for friendships that aren't based on
      anything besides being Christian, and for CFM pastors who don't care about them,
      their future, their well-being; All CFM pastors and bogus "leaders" care about
      you for is that you fill a chair, get your life together, go to conference, get
      married and keep a steady income flowing into that offering pot so that they can
      save their name when they send the reports back to the mother church.You are
      only there to make your pastor look good and to help him climb the CFM hierarchy
      of pastor-status and you give him bragging rights so maybe one day, if he's good
      enough he can preach at a conference or maybe he can introduce his daughter to a
      stellar disciple at a conference instead of putting his time and energy into
      getting his kids into college and giving his family a good life, something most
      CFMers can't even imagine - living a good quality of life of their own. They
      send men to men's discipleship and tell these guys they are teaching them how
      to be a man when most of the men are losers in real life who can't even score a
      good wife on their own, especially one who isn't already brainwashed,
      housebroken or "saved" into their system, whatever they call it. They leave
      these men on their own and encourage the wives not to work so they will be even
      more co-dependent on their spouse. I know many guys who are desperate for wives
      but they consider themselves above all the women in the church because no one
      will meet their "high" standards. The most you can look forward to is getting a
      spouse who is an ex-junkie, ex-convict or someone who doesn't have an
      opportunity to advance in a real life outside their fellowship where all they
      learning is to become a clone of their pastor and even worse, their pastor's
      wife. And then once you are stuck married with someone who has that kind of
      baggage, then you won't be allowed to go to a real professional for counseling,
      and you can look forward to a real dysfunctional, stressed out, happy time had
      by all. Somehow with all this, you think you are helping other people by
      encouraging them to live that life with you.

      If you stay, you will never know what legitimate love, loyalty, friendships,
      family life or self-esteem is like without some fake "authority" figure without
      credentials, a pastor coaching you on what to do and setting you up for failure,
      wasted time, displaced relationships, and wasted money. A real man, in my
      belief, will do anything for the good of his family and makes his own
      moral-based decisions to that regard, but in the fellowship; they don't teach
      you to care about your family. They teach men that it is enough that they keep
      their family in church, which is a laboratory of disaster for raising children.
      Do your kids a favor, and be nice to them! Send them to private schools, save
      money for their future, health insurance, and invest into the well-being of your
      own family, give them the opportunity to meet a good life-partner who is truly
      successful because they will be there for you in the end, not the fellowship.
      That will help them more than the fellowship ever will...Most fellowship members
      can't even imagine a decent life beyond poverty and bourgeois mediocrity, unless
      you are Mitchell or one of his cronies, you will never know a life beyond your
      current socio-economic status. The fellowship leaves their pastors high and dry.
      Many of them are barely making it to get by if the congregation isn't putting
      any money in the offering. If you haven't learned the art of deceit and
      con-artistry, you will pray and pray and pray and the church still won't give
      money and your life won't change unless you get out, grow a pair, and make some
      positive decisions for yourself. Twenty years later, you will find yourself
      worn-out, hoping your ministry status has improved, with children to feed and
      your wife siding with your pastor because you aren't doing something right... if
      you aren't successful and strong enough to get your own family to love you and
      stay loyal, you can grovel to headship and only hope you aren't deeply
      co-dependent on your CFM friends to the point you are so stressed about getting
      kicked out to the curb for a silly reason or that they don't turn your own
      family against you and encourage your spouse to divorce you instead of working
      things out. Everything I was taught in the fellowship was useless to me in the
      real world by the way. My parents are good, hard-working people who were scammed
      into a terrible way of life, they will never leave the fellowship and that they
      made that choice on their own is all I that I ever regret. My siblings and I are
      now their retirement plan and good thing we stuck around for them since Jesus
      never came back and took them in the rapture like they had hoped. Good thing I
      am a humanist and I believe in genuine tolerance and respect for all who have
      different beliefs than mine, or my lack of belief. Whatever gets you through to
      your happy place. But please, take this as a warning and dont get suckered into
      going to the silly door or ph, for the sake of your own future sanity and for
      the sake of your children if you have any. It really is a place for the
      hopeless!!!!!!!!! Just get out now and RUN!


      Posted February 8, 2013


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