This is a cross post from the group, Escape From the Fellowship.
Here is a post by chkx65 who posted 32 times on Escape. It is a rather sad post, and although several of us responded to him, he never posted again.
One thing that mystifies me is how close we can get to true
happiness, love, and fulfillment before it gets stripped away from
us. You know, those desires and dreams that have always been with us,
born within us, and the teaser is that we sometimes get a tasted of
it, true fulfillment and love yet to only have it tragically taken
from us. Does God do that to us? Why in the world would he put a
dream in our hearts to not only keep it out of our reach, but worse
yet, let us get close only to have it taken away forever? I just
don't understand Gods long term plan for us, will it all be worth it
in the end? Will it all make sense in the end with us thanking God
for allowing us to go through that particular tragedy? I sure have a
hard time imagining that scenario. Perhaps I am feeling down and
feeling sorry for myself, but I wasn't even able to give my daughter
a good birthday this year. Furthermore, I did not even get to see
her. The one thing that I hold onto during times of trouble and grief
is my belief that I am a good father. But I find myself failing my
kids terribly no matter how hard I try. Sure life is full of
challenges and troubles. But why so much emotional torment? I can not
possibly understand why God would create us knowing that we would
have to endure so much hurt and pain. If I had a choice to bring a
child in the world knowing that he or she would suffer with cancer,
leukemia, pain and loss for her whole life, I don't think I could do
it. And with the popular stance of Christianity, many of us apparatly
will go to Hell to suffer all of eternity? It makes no sense to me,
it doesn't add up, it defies logic.
I am thankful for the blessings in my life. I just can not understand
why God holds us back from finding true fulfillment. After all, he
put the desire for fulfillment in our hearts,,, yet like a carrot on
a stick, he keeps the prize out of reach.
Perhaps I am ruined by the Door, and this is why I feel this way. I
don't know. Sorry for the depressing post, I just thought someone may
have insight to make me see these things differently.
January 13, 2008