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Letting Go

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  • abused_in_fl
    My husband was asked to leave VC almost 2 years ago now. He was asked to leave because of moral issues, but the thing is....we found another church, went
    Message 1 of 3 , May 5, 2010
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      My husband was asked to leave VC almost 2 years ago now. He was asked to leave because of moral issues, but the thing is....we found another church, went talked to the Pastor and he really helped my husband. We have had no issues since. The new church has really helped us both, of course VC constantly talks about our church and us.My questioning is, could it have been spiritual, the things that he did? We met in the chuch and dated in the church and got married in the church(church meaning Victory Chapel). Of course we had problems from the get go, because we had no time for each other, then we added a couple of kids. The things that my husband fell into, I am hearing now that it has happened to others in the same church, by the same women. One of these women are still there and she is the worst. Is it common amongst other CFC churches or just the one I attended. I had a hard time, I had been in that church from the time I was 16 until we left...I was 32. My husband and I really doing well, we have recovered and getting to know each other again. I have forgiven him, but I can't seem to let it go on the part VC played. Before, he was asked to leave, we had continual issues of the same manor. I was supposed to forgive them both and move on in ministries together like nothing happened. To see her in plays and dramas etc. But, I was being called a Jezebel over the pulpit and my husband of sat down and made to feel...there are no words to describe how they made him feel.How do you just let it go?
    • Ken
      abused_in_fl said: [My husband was asked to leave VC almost 2 years ago now. He was asked to leave because of moral issues, but the thing is....we found
      Message 2 of 3 , May 5, 2010
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        abused_in_fl said:

        [My husband was asked to leave VC almost 2 years ago now. He was asked to leave because of moral issues, but the thing is....we found another church, went
        talked to the Pastor and he really helped my husband. We have had no issues
        since. The new church has really helped us both, of course VC constantly talks
        about our church and us.My questioning is, could it have been spiritual, the
        things that he did? We met in the chuch and dated in the church and got married
        in the church(church meaning Victory Chapel). Of course we had problems from the get go, because we had no time for each other, then we added a couple of kids. The things that my husband fell into, I am hearing now that it has happened to others in the same church, by the same women. One of these women are still there and she is the worst.

        Is it common amongst other CFC churches or just the one I
        attended. I had a hard time, I had been in that church from the time I was 16
        until we left...I was 32. My husband and I really doing well, we have recovered
        and getting to know each other again. I have forgiven him, but I can't seem to
        let it go on the part VC played. Before, he was asked to leave, we had continual
        issues of the same manor. I was supposed to forgive them both and move on in
        ministries together like nothing happened. To see her in plays and dramas etc.
        But, I was being called a Jezebel over the pulpit and my husband of sat down and made to feel...there are no words to describe how they made him feel.How do you just let it go?]

        Hello, Abused.

        Immorality is quite common in the fellowship.  There were pastors who were shuffled around after committing adultery, and some of them were appointed to leadership.  My pastor's wife committed adultery and my pastor went on with his "ministry" like nothing happened.  That's at the leadership level.

        In the churches themselves quite a lot of adultery and fornication goes on, at least based on my own observations.  I was a pastor in the fellowship for about 14 years, and I saw enough of it in my own church. 

        In many of the churches it depends on whether or not someone has favor with the pastor and/or the pastor's wife, as to how they are treated after being caught in adultery.  For example, in my home church there was a music group where the leader of the group, who was married, committed adultery with a married woman in his group.  He was sat out of ministry, as she was, and she ended up getting divorced.  She went on to nail a number of other men in the church, and in the mean time the former music group leader divorced his wife.  Lo and behold, down the road they tied the knot.  She was never thrown out of the church, as she was the pastor's wife's best friend.  And yes, they ended up back in ministry, even performing at conferences. 

        So, no, it is not just your church.  And it is quite common for the pastors to rail on the unfavored member who fell into adultery, from the pulpit. 

        It takes time to be able to let go of this stuff.  Most people take about five years to really get over it.  In the mean time, enjoy your new church.  Realize that many of the people who are railing on you guys now will be out of the fellowship in the future and also hurting. 

        With your permission I would like to cross post what you wrote over to two other message boards:

        http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Escape_from_the_Fellowship/

        http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freedom_from_thepottershouse/

        There is a man who attended Ron Meyers church in Florida who writes on both those message boards who might know you, if that is the church you are from. If I do cross post your message over there then you will most likely get more responses.  You can go ahead and join both those groups as well. 

        Shalom
        Ken


         

      • Ken
        This reply was in my mailbox. *********************************************************************** Well, it depends if it was Ron or not,LOL, seeing that
        Message 3 of 3 , May 8, 2010
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          This reply was in my mailbox.

          ***********************************************************************

          Well, it depends if it was Ron or not,LOL, seeing that your from a Florida church and seeing how you speek the typical Ron language, I'll guess you went to either his church or one of his "other" churches. My wife and I went through the same thing except when  my friend Dan left, he told me I was still a hit to be talked about even almost 10 years after leaving that place. Anyhow, if you went to Rons you will know my wife Michelle and of coarse the ever so demon posessed me,lol................ You just have to realize that having a relationship with God is a new thing. Most people in the CFM have ono idea who GOd is as a father and that is what me and my wife have been finding out over the years. To forgive them is to ask the Lord to humble you and forgive them even if it is just saying you release them in prayer daily, God still honors that even though you have been taught different. When we left, we went toCalvary Chapel and heard all kinds of lies aabout our church such as our pastor let some drunk CFM members stand up and preach and such, but of coarse, they didn't get rebuked for going against the "man o God" rather they got high fives and laughs and joy from others saying such things. Say that about ROn however and the heavans will explose rath upon you...........lol, Take everything with a grain of salt and like I said, learn to know God as your Father and CFM will be a distant thought for you. I still like to talk to those who left because I understand what they went through. I have talked to several who have left Rons and even those who are still under his rule. IT's a shame, but nothing we say can open their eyes untile they are willing to open them first. I ended up feeling pity for Ron, thatss how I forgave him. HE is so caught up in himself that he is blinded by his own pride. THe people follow him, not God and they serve him thinking they will earn some reward which is a total lie. Thats what makes me pity him and them, knowing while they rejoice hearing about those who have left even though most of what they hear are lies, I can't even beging to beleive I was once like them. It's not that I am beter or closer to God in any way, just that God opened my eyes to the lies and now I have something I can pray for them for. IF you have anything at all you want to talk about, please contact me via personal email or post here or Kens website. My personal email is dearborn_denis@... IF you are more comfortable talking to a woman, Michelle will talk to you and we can even call you if you wish. IF you did happen to go to Rons church and are now attending Calvary Chapel in Oragne Park, Stay with Chris and Elain. They are wonderful people and the Lord used them big time to help us out. Well, I hope to hear from you soon, GOd bless

          --- In slamthedoor@yahoogroups.com, abused_in_fl <no_reply@...> wrote:
          >
          > My husband was asked to leave VC almost 2 years ago now. He was asked to leave because of moral issues, but the thing is....we found another church, went talked to the Pastor and he really helped my husband. We have had no issues since. The new church has really helped us both, of course VC constantly talks about our church and us.My questioning is, could it have been spiritual, the things that he did? We met in the chuch and dated in the church and got married in the church(church meaning Victory Chapel). Of course we had problems from the get go, because we had no time for each other, then we added a couple of kids. The things that my husband fell into, I am hearing now that it has happened to others in the same church, by the same women. One of these women are still there and she is the worst. Is it common amongst other CFC churches or just the one I attended. I had a hard time, I had been in that church from the time I was 16 until we left...I was 32. My husband and I really doing well, we have recovered and getting to know each other again. I have forgiven him, but I can't seem to let it go on the part VC played. Before, he was asked to leave, we had continual issues of the same manor. I was supposed to forgive them both and move on in ministries together like nothing happened. To see her in plays and dramas etc. But, I was being called a Jezebel over the pulpit and my husband of sat down and made to feel...there are no words to describe how they made him feel.How do you just let it go?
          >


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