Abusing and Being Abused
The Bible talks about those who are deceiving and being deceived. In the fellowship of Wayman O. we were abusing and being abused.
Right from the beginning of my attending the Door in Tucson, the abusive nature of the "discipleship" went into effect. This abuse emanated from the pastor, but it was enacted down the line. I almost immediately joined a music group after I started going to the services. I found that there was a music group leader who was absolute dictator of the group. He could be as nasty as he wanted and if we were good disciples who wanted to serve God, well, then we would gladly take his abuse.
Disciples were nasty with each other, in imitation of the pastor. Everybody was on everybody to keep in line and do all that our taskmasters expected of us. In other words, we abused each other. We were abusing and being abused all the time.
Human nature being what it is, when we get out of the fellowship we clearly remember every abuse that we endured. However, our memory of abusing others seems a bit blurry. The tendency is to put the guilt of abuse on everyone who was "over" us in the structure. Those who were mean spirited disciples, who never hesitated to condemn people for lack of performance, or to slander those who left, will portray themselves as innocent, deceived, sincere people who that horrible pastor tricked. Granted, the so called ministry of the fellowship should be condemned, but there should also be a recognition that you were part of it too.
While the leaders of the Nazi party were hung for war crimes, many lessor officers were let off. Some of these lessor officers murdered Jews and others themselves. They committed horrible acts and excused themselves under the banner of, "We were just following orders." A lot of people who stayed in the fellowship for many years tend to sound just like that when they get out.
I have no problem with people who get out, admit that they were a part of it, and renounce it totally. As far as I am concerned, anyone who wants to drag up the past of someone who has renounced it and throw it in their faces can go post somewhere else. People who say, "So, tell me about when you were a CFM abuser...." The only people who bother me more that that kind of person are the ones who want to scream about everyone else's abuses while excusing themselves as snow white victims. Yes, if you were in the fellowship for any length of time you were almost certainly abused and exploited. You were also part of it. I bet I could find someone you hurt.
Some refuse to renounce fellowship abuse. They get out, and then do the same thing. Just because they left that particular organization does not mean they are off the hook. If they are still teaching the same religious trash then they are still the same abusers they always were.
I will never be involved in a religious system like the fellowship again. That is the bottom line. That is truly renouncing it. Once that is done, no one has the right to continue to try and drag me, or anyone else who forsook the fellowship, through the mud again. Again, when I say forsake the fellowship, I don't mean that you just left. I mean you will never use their exploitive doctrines again. Those doctrines include, forced attendance, threats of doom for leaving, forced tithing and offering, headship and all that goes with it, destiny doctrines, curse doctrines, hatred for ex members doctrines, and let's not forget talking bird doctrines. And there are many other such things that they teach which are designed to abuse and exploit. (Except for the talking bird stuff, that's just stupid.)
It is good to be free from all of that religious stupidity and insanity. It is good to no longer abuse others, or be abused ourselves, and think that this is "the kingdom of God."