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Re: thieves at Gulf Wars

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  • milica_od_tuzla
    Thank you Aislinn, I was about to send along the curses, lol. Where have you been, we missed you at Art-Sci, which had NO CLASSES, can you believe that? Court
    Message 1 of 4 , Mar 24, 2007
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      Thank you Aislinn, I was about to send along the curses, lol.

      Where have you been, we missed you at Art-Sci, which had NO CLASSES,
      can you believe that? Court was great though, Lady Meava is now HL
      Meava.

      I now have 3 kokoshniks and am looking to make some more garb if you
      have any interesting sites you would like to share.

      --- In sig@yahoogroups.com, "Stephanie M. Ross" <hlaislinn@...>
      wrote:
      >
      > --- In sig@yahoogroups.com, Tim Nalley <mordakus@> wrote:
      > >
      > > Tymm's curses????? I'm intrigued! Care to share with
      > > the class?
      >
      > Okay, I'll warn you, it's a bit long.
      >
      > All told, there were 5 fiberglass spears, 5 glaives/pole arms, 2
      great
      > swords, 2 long swords, 2 chairs, 1 pavilion, 1 helmet and 1 pair
      > gauntlets stolen from us.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard's first spear: Nine foot long Black fiberglass shaft
      (older,
      > thicker-walled variety of shaft) covered in wood grained contact
      paper;
      > self-made thrusting tip, tapered, no shield hook; large knob end
      on the
      > handle with black grip tape.
      >
      > Tymm Gard bought this spear shaft at (Pennsic 23 or maybe 25) and
      has
      > wielded it in many foreign wars to the detriment of hundreds,
      possibly
      > thousands of foes. He used this spear to win the Spear Champion of
      > Trimaris Tournament two years ago.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      spear: You
      > will never know glory. If ever you accomplish anything good, no
      one will
      > be watching, no one will remember and no one will believe you when
      you
      > tell NoShitThereIWas stories about it.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard's newer spear: Nine foot long Brown fiberglass shaft
      (newer
      > variety of shaft, very light) covered in very tattered wood grained
      > contact paper; Mandrake Armory thrusting tip kit with shield hook;
      small
      > knob end on the handle with black grip tape.
      >
      > Tymm Gard bought this spear and spear tip kit at Pennsic 33 and has
      > wielded it since then primarily because it is so light and quick.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      spear: You
      > will be sluggish when you wield any weapon. Your blows will fall
      late
      > and your blocks will be too slow -- you will be hit over and over
      again
      > in the same place.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard's War Glaive: Rattan 7 1/2 foot long shaft, has a unique
      bend
      > to it with shaved sides; grip tape handle and grip at top of the
      haft;
      > self-made thrusting tip and butt spike; self made flat teardrop
      shaped
      > hand guard at the juncture of haft and blade.
      >
      > Tymm Gard made this weapon a decade or more ago. It was an old,
      bent,
      > cracked stick. He used this war glaive at dozens of wars and
      skirmishes.
      > It was this glaive he was using during the Gulf Wars 14 Field
      Battles,
      > when as one of the last three Trimarians alive, he defeated in
      single
      > combat eight Ansteorran champions in a row (so the legends say)
      until
      > King Miguel opened his court and awarded Tymm Gard, Crynn and Diaz
      all
      > three the Sable Falcon of Ansteorra there upon the battlefield. It
      was
      > this glaive he wielded during the Order of the Rose Melee
      Tournament
      > when the Trimarian Ladies of the Rose chose him to be their
      Champion for
      > the year.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      glaive:
      > Your hands should bleed when you touch this glaive. Its accumulated
      > *wah* power should cause you, a person without any honor, to
      > spontaneously combust. It will leap from your grasp at every
      > opportunity. It will burst into splinters should you ever manage to
      > strike an honorable opponent and you will be pincushioned with
      rattan
      > toothpicks.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Crispin's Spear: Nine foot long black duct taped shaft with
      decorative
      > white crosses; self-made cylindrical thrusting tip; this spear was
      a few
      > inches too long and did not pass inspection at the war.
      >
      > Crispin says he hardly used this weapon over the last 10 or 15
      years --
      > spear is not his forte, he says. He is a modest and humble man.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this spear:
      > While you use this spear, you will get face-jacked so hard you
      will lose
      > teeth.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Iseault's Spear: Nine foot long blue and purple decorated shaft;
      > self-made thrusting tip (tapered) with a decorative yellow fleur-
      de-lis
      > on the thrusting tip's face; yellow leather grip handle.
      >
      > Iseault's spear has been on loan to Duke Llewellyn for a number of
      > years. He said it was used to defeat many, many honorable foes. He
      > returned the spear to her on Saturday.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      spear: No
      > one will ever loan you anything. You will be in need and you will
      find
      > yourself without resources or friends.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Strahd's Spear: Nine foot long red fiberglass shaft, un-taped,
      cracked
      > slightly; self-made thrusting tip and shield hook.
      >
      > Strahd used this spear against Trimarians when he lived in
      Ansteorra and
      > against Ansteorrans now that he lives in Trimaris. It was cracked
      and he
      > bought a replacement shaft earlier in the war, which he still has,
      so he
      > does not mourn its loss too much.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      spear: You
      > will always be confused as to whose side you fight on. Your allies
      will
      > strike you thinking you are the foe and you will strike your allies
      > instead of the foe. You will gain an insulting nick-name such as
      > "Kinslayer" or "Friendly Fire." The spear shaft will shiver
      asunder the
      > first time you strike an honorable opponent and you will be
      injured with
      > the impact.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard's Short Glaive: Six foot long shaft, blade silver and
      blue
      > duct tape, haft covered with black duct tape and spiral wrapped
      with
      > grip tape; thrusting tip and butt spike self-made using black
      rubber
      > ball hitch covers; flat oblong hand guard at juncture of haft and
      blade.
      >
      > Tymm Gard made this weapon from the haft of an older war glaive
      about 15
      > years ago. He rarely used it, preferring the longer glaive, but did
      > wield it in this Gulf Wars' Town Battle, sometimes two handed,
      sometimes
      > in his left hand alone, so that he could swing a sword and grab
      the flag
      > with a gauntleted hand.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      glaive: For
      > you, nothing will endure. You will misplace your precious things,
      lose
      > them, someone will steal them from you.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard's Short Spear: Thrusting weapon, apx. 48" long, apx. 1
      3/4"
      > thick rattan, self-made wedge spear head shaped thrusting tip on
      one
      > end, Mandrake Armory Pole Weapon black rubber thrusting tip on the
      other
      > end.
      >
      > Tymm Gard built this weapon 20 years ago, or so, back when there
      was a
      > vogue in Trimaris for fighting with a "baby glaives." Later, and
      > recently, he used it as a secondary weapon. The Mandrake thrusting
      tip
      > was a new addition.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      glaive: You
      > will lack innovation. Any idea you have will have already been
      done, and
      > you will be ridiculed for mentioning it. This will happen so often
      you
      > will fade into silence and obscurity.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Crispin's Swords: Inch and a quarter diameter rattan, shaved
      handles;
      > Asgard black plastic cup hilts; silver duct tape with yellow
      contrast
      > edges; no thrusting tips.
      >
      > When Crispin wielded these two swords, they were as a whirling
      wind of
      > wood surrounding his body, that would reach out to strike you
      without
      > warning and ward him from blows.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal these
      swords:
      > You will try to fight two-sword and fail miserably. You will be
      bruised,
      > battered and injured seriously. These swords will not work for
      you. You
      > will get them crossed up and tangled, unable to land a blow or
      defend
      > against your opponent's swings.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Crispin's Helmet: Mild steel bascinet with bar grille; Blacksword
      Armory
      > original item. I will post links to pictures of the missing items
      > later...
      >
      > This was Crispin's first helmet, made for him by Sir Seosaidh. The
      pate
      > it protected is a fountain of Chivalry, something foreign to you.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      helmet: For
      > you this helm will ring like a bell when struck, and all you do to
      > prevent it from being struck will be to no avail. The first strong
      Duke
      > who strikes it will break the bar grille, sending a bar into your
      eye,
      > deep into your pitifully malformed brain -- you will die.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Crispin's Gauntlets: Mild steel mitten gauntlets; Blacksword Armory
      > design and make; they were painted black with white letters drawn
      upon
      > them.
      >
      > Crispin's gauntlets protected his hands while he fought, so that he
      > could open his hands to those in need, and gently close them about
      the
      > arms of his lady and his children. His hands could dispense
      justice and
      > gentility at will.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal these
      gauntlets:
      > No hands will be open to you, none shall treat with you gently.
      Hands
      > will be raised against you at all turns. You will not find
      protection,
      > but instead gauntlets will be thrown at your feet in challenge and
      you
      > will be unmanned.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard & Elianora's Field Pavilion: "First Up" brand 10x10 popup
      > pavilion, blue canopy, white metal frame; black triangular dagging
      sewn
      > around bottom edge of canopy; patches with Tymm Gard's and the
      Triskele
      > Legion's devices sewn over the "First Up" logos on the canopy.
      >
      > Elianora sat in this pavilion while she inspired Tymm Gard when he
      > fought in Crown Lysts and other tournaments. Crispin and his
      brother
      > Paterno slept in it at Pennsic. It was set up at several wars as an
      > armor tent. Elianora and Honoree spent hours re-decorating it --
      they
      > sewed the dagging on it, and made walls for it, so that it
      appeared more
      > period.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      pavilion:
      > You will find no shade from the sun nor respite from the rain
      under this
      > pavilion. You will find no shelter anywhere and no one will
      inspire you.
      > You will become homeless.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Crispin's Great Sword: Apx. six foot rattan greatsword, light and
      > strong; shaved handle, silver duct tape with black tape contrast
      edge.
      >
      > Crispin wielded this sword with style, prowess and grace
      unmatched. He
      > thought it was lost for the first few days of Gulf Wars, but it was
      > resting against a tree in camp, partially hidden by shields.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      sword: You
      > will not be able to find things that you are missing, even though
      they
      > are right before you. You will step on a rattlesnake with grievous
      > consequences.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Tymm Gard's Great Sword: Six foot rattan greatsword; heavy black
      duct
      > taped (Gorilla tape) shaft with silver duct tape contrast edge;
      > thrusting tip self-made using black rubber ball hitch cover; lead
      tape
      > and hard rubber half-sphere make up the butt counterweight, tire
      tubber
      > quillions wrapped heavily with duct tape.
      >
      > Tymm Gard recently made this sword, refurbishing Alkman's old
      > greatsword, and had hardly used it. He spend a lot of time
      wrapping the
      > counterweight, attaching the tip and re-taping the shaft and
      quillions.
      > Crispin used it some during the fighting vigil for Scout on Friday.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      sword: The
      > balance of every weapon you touch will not suit you and no matter
      how
      > much you tinker with them, they will always feel awkward in your
      grasp.
      > A large rock will fall upon you.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Alkman's Glaive: Apx. Seven and a half foot long rattan shaft;
      silver
      > duct tape blade with black contrast edge; two large, red taped,
      > busted-ass thrusting tips on either end.
      >
      > This glaive should not have been down by the field, as its
      thrusting
      > tips never would have passed inspection. Patricles and Hroutland in
      > their very helpful way, brought Tymm Gard's weapons down to the
      > battlefield and they grabbed this stick along with the others.
      Alkman
      > gave it to Tymm Gard a while back and he brought it to war to
      possibly
      > refurbish with new tips or to give away. It was still marked with
      > Alkman's name.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      glaive:
      > Your will lose all your friends. No one will gift you with
      anything, no
      > one will volunteer to help you. You will be foolish enough to try
      to get
      > this weapon inspected without fixing the tips and a zealous
      Marshal will
      > pull your authorization card.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Crispin's Glaive: Apx. seven foot rattan shaft, stained to look
      like a
      > darker wood; silver duct tape blade with black contrast edge.
      >
      > Crispin weilded this glaive with ferocity matching that of his
      totem,
      > the lion.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      glaive: You
      > will know fear, always. This will be evident to all, as you will
      wet
      > your breeches frequently. You will be branded a coward.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Elianora's Chair: Wooden framed, short legged "Director's" style;
      beige
      > mesh waterproof fabric back and seat; sold at Target stores.
      >
      > Elianora bought this chair and has used it for a comfortable seat
      by the
      > campfire or battlefield. It looked period enough, was sturdy and
      weather
      > resistant.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      chair: This
      > chair will break when you sit in it, and will tumble you to the
      ground
      > roughly. People will laugh and point. You will get a splinter in
      your
      > ass that takes a surgeon to remove it.
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      > Iseault's Chair: Dark wooden folding chair, period design with a
      carved
      > back piece and lion head carved into the ends of the arm rests.
      This
      > chair is fairly unique and not readily replaceable.
      >
      > Iseault sat upon this chair and inspired Crispin to great feats of
      honor
      > and glory. She inspired all who would gaze upon her beauty and
      bearing.
      >
      > Tymm Gard's curse to the person who knowingly did steal this
      chair: You
      > will inspire no one. You will look foolish seated upon this chair.
      This
      > chair will ultimately be your downfall, as it will be recognized
      and you
      > will be caught, beaten, arrested and raped in jail.
      >
      >
      > - - - - -
      >
      >
      >
      > Thank you all for your indulgence, sorry for the length of this
      missive.
      > Please forward this to the Knowne Worlde.
      >
      >
      > HL Tymm Gard, OMS, OST
      >
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