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Re: [SCA Newcomers] Well, Hello

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  • Iustinos Tekton called Justin
    ... These are, in my personal opinion, very, very wise words! Households are great -- I m very happy to be a member of one myself. But I ve seen too many cases
    Message 1 of 12 , Apr 10, 2006
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      On Sunday 09 April 2006 00:30, Megan & Dave wrote:
      > I don't recommend deciding on a household for at least a year.  There
      > is so much involved in the SCA you need to find your bearings before
      > you commit.  [...] Too many people commit, and then later find out that
      > this isn't a group you want to belong to, and frequently there are hurt
      > feelings when it is brought out.

      These are, in my personal opinion, very, very wise words!

      Households are great -- I'm very happy to be a member of one myself.
      But I've seen too many cases where households eager to grow their numbers
      met up with new people eager to feel a part of a circle of friends -- with
      disastrous results.

      At an event last summer, our household shared camping space with another
      household that was one of these eager-grabbers. There were some newbies
      camping with this other household, and from watching the interaction, I
      formulated the following:

      Justin's Rules On How To NOT Find A Household

      You should run, not walk, away from any household where....

      * ...the person who is the leader of the household is bragging openly
      that, "Yeah, I'm a legend with the Chirurgeons! They
      tell war stories about all the stupid things I do at Pennsic!"

      * ...it takes the household leader twenty minutes with a whiteboard to
      explain the organization chart and officer roles of a household that
      has only about 25 members.

      * ...there are multiple levels of approval and appeal required to invite
      a friend to visit your campsite, sit under the dining fly, and have
      a cold beer.

      Our folks were having a great amount of private amusement about all this
      (and I swear, the above really happened -- they even had the whiteboard with
      them to explain the org chart!). Mind you, these were really NICE
      people, but we just couldn't imagine why they needed so much bureaucracy
      for such a small group where presumably everyone in the group is friends!

      We've got about twenty members in our household [*], we don't actively recruit,
      and our fifteen year history we've never had any serious interpersonal conflict.
      We don't *need* officers or lots of rules because we only invite people
      into the household with whom we already have close friendships. Decisions
      are by concensus, and new members have to be approved unanimously. The upside
      is that we have a very relaxed and friendly culture -- the downside is that
      we don't have the number to make an effective fighting unit or guild or to
      do really large service projects.

      I'm not saying our way is the only way -- I'm just pointing out that there
      are a zillion different ways for households to work. If you're new to the
      SCA, you owe it to yourself to stick around for a while and get to know
      people from a variety of different kinds of household before you commit
      to one. Look for a household whose lifestyle meshes well with your own
      attitudes and values. Some households are just groups of friends, others
      are more hierarchical, like a medieval family household. Some are local
      to one area, others are kingdom-wide or even multi-kingdom.

      That process of learning about the households in your area happens in
      parallel with learning about the various activities and customs of the SCA,
      and with learning about yourself and what you want from this hobby. All
      of these things take time -- hence the wisdom of Gwenhyfar's post which I
      quoted above. :-)

      And don't overlook the possibility of forming your own household with a
      couple of close friends. Milica and I formed Erevnite Asteron before we really
      had any official ties to an SCA shire, and with almost no SCA experience.
      Households aren't officially sanctioned by the SCA, so you don't have to
      do any paperwork or have any special approval to form one. Just pick the
      people you want in your household, pick a name that isn't taken, and
      declare that you're a household. That's about all there is to it.

      Justin

      [*] Erevnite Asteron, http://erevnite.4th.com/

      --
      ()xxxx[]::::::::::::::::::> <::::::::::::::::::[]xxxx()
      Maistor Iustinos Tekton called Justin (Scott Courtney)
      Gules, on a bezant a fleam sable and on a chief dovetailed Or two
      keys fesswise reversed sable.

      Marche of Alderford (Canton, Ohio) http://4th.com/sca/justin/
      justin@... PGP Public Key at http://4th.com/keys/justin.pubkey
    • Giudo di Niccolo Brunelleschi
      Example A: AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! *witness Giudo running, screaming into the night* Example B: Quoth Giudo Intriguing. Now can you translate that into
      Message 2 of 12 , Apr 10, 2006
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        Example A: AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! *witness Giudo running, screaming
        into the night*

        Example B: Quoth Giudo "Intriguing. Now can you translate that into
        English? No, no...English. As in the language that the REST of us
        speak."

        Example C: Ummmm...no. I don't do beer. Come back to my encampment and
        we'll enjoy some Gooseberry wine that an apprentice sister of mine
        made.


        *LOL* Wow...those are some scary, scary versions of Households.
        Sadly, I've seen all of these in action. Funny enough, it was a group
        like Example C that wanted to put me on their "watch list" for
        consideration for joining their Household. I looked at them and just
        shook my head, said "No thank you" and went on my merry way.


        Now, at last count, I'm a member of...*counts on his fingers
        again*...5 (is that right?)...yup...5 different Households of various
        sizes and natures:

        * Clan Blue Feather: Society-wide clan for the LGBT community, their
        allies, and those interested in studying Medieval sexuality. [[Very
        LITTLE beaurocratic stuff, at least amongst the Calontir contingent.]]

        * House ORU (aka "Orphans 'R' Us"): A local Household of about 10-12
        individuals who all are close friends; almost like a 2nd family at the
        local level. [[My roommate is my House sister, and we seriously act
        like siblings 99.99% of the time. We've been mistaken as such many
        times in real life...*LOL*]]

        * House Leatherwolf: A personal Household founded by HE Master Modar
        Neznanich, his lady wife, and her close friend. This Household follows
        the tenant of "Ohana"...and people have been invited in just for being
        themselves, where they've done something that has struck the founders
        as being awe-inspiring, really cool, or has affected them in a
        positive way.

        * Compagnia dell'Arcangelo Gabriele: My personal Household, based
        loosely on the Florentine confraternities...where those I have invited
        into the Household exemplify the idea of charity. So far there's a
        long-time college friend, and a friend I met through LiveJournal (of
        all places)...and myself. I've opened it up that they are free to
        invite their significant others and anyone they have a formal
        relationship with (ie: Peer/associate, student/teacher, other heads of
        House, etc). And since the three of us cover 2 Kingdoms, we are free
        to add others to the group if we think they would benefit from such an
        association...just let the others know who you're looking at, why they
        are so cool, and invite them in. [[I'm very amorphous, but I'm really
        sending the hint out that we are not "The Family" or "The Borg".]]

        * And then there's the small Household with my Laurel and my fellow
        apprentice brothers and sisters. This goes into another realm of
        relationships that most newcomers should NOT be bogged down with. If
        you've only been playing for a year, and you've got a Peer coming up
        to you asking you to be their squire, their apprentice, or their
        protege...RUN!!! 9 times out of 10 they are either trying to warp you
        to THEIR view of the SCA, or their off collecting "trophy" associates.
        [[BAD blood runs in both of these scenarios.]]

        Hrm...I'll hold off on that entire rant for later. [[I could write an
        entire essay on my search and inquiry into the realm of Peer/associate
        relationships.]]

        Giudo di Niccolo



        On 4/10/06, Iustinos Tekton called Justin <justin@...> wrote:
        > Justin's Rules On How To NOT Find A Household
        >
        > You should run, not walk, away from any household where....
        >
        > * ...the person who is the leader of the household is bragging openly
        > that, "Yeah, I'm a legend with the Chirurgeons! They
        > tell war stories about all the stupid things I do at Pennsic!"
        >
        > * ...it takes the household leader twenty minutes with a whiteboard to
        > explain the organization chart and officer roles of a household that
        > has only about 25 members.
        >
        > * ...there are multiple levels of approval and appeal required to invite
        > a friend to visit your campsite, sit under the dining fly, and have
        > a cold beer.
      • Milica of Varna
        I would agree with this. Also, many households are created for camping purposes at large camping events. This allows people to choose with whom this wish to
        Message 3 of 12 , Apr 11, 2006
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          I would agree with this. Also, many households are created for camping
          purposes at large camping events. This allows people to choose with whom this
          wish to camp. There are many of these households that exist only for the
          wars. Not a bad way to go either.

          Milica

          On Monday 10 April 2006 23:27, Iustinos Tekton called Justin wrote:
          > And don't overlook the possibility of forming your own household with a
          > couple of close friends. Milica and I formed Erevnite Asteron before we
          > really had any official ties to an SCA shire, and with almost no SCA
          > experience. Households aren't officially sanctioned by the SCA, so you
          > don't have to do any paperwork or have any special approval to form one.
          > Just pick the people you want in your household, pick a name that isn't
          > taken, and declare that you're a household. That's about all there is to
          > it.

          --
          **************************************************************************************

          THL Milica of Varna
          Chronicler, Barony of Brendoken

          **************************************************************************************
        • Iustinos Tekton called Justin
          ... No, M Lord, with respect I must correct you. These are all THE SAME HOUSEHOLD DURING A SINGLE AFTERNOON. Now you should *really* be scared. {GRIN} Justin
          Message 4 of 12 , Apr 12, 2006
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            On Tuesday 11 April 2006 00:01, Giudo di Niccolo Brunelleschi wrote:
            > *LOL*  Wow...those are some scary, scary versions of Households.

            No, M'Lord, with respect I must correct you.

            These are all THE SAME HOUSEHOLD DURING A SINGLE AFTERNOON.

            Now you should *really* be scared. {GRIN}

            Justin

            --
            ()xxxx[]::::::::::::::::::> <::::::::::::::::::[]xxxx()
            Maistor Iustinos Tekton called Justin (Scott Courtney)
            Gules, on a bezant a fleam sable and on a chief dovetailed Or two
            keys fesswise reversed sable.

            Marche of Alderford (Canton, Ohio) http://4th.com/sca/justin/
            justin@... PGP Public Key at http://4th.com/keys/justin.pubkey
          • Giudo di Niccolo Brunelleschi
            ... OK...the SAME household in ONE day? EGADS! Giudo
            Message 5 of 12 , Apr 12, 2006
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              On 4/12/06, Iustinos Tekton called Justin <justin@...> wrote:
              > On Tuesday 11 April 2006 00:01, Giudo di Niccolo Brunelleschi wrote:
              > > *LOL* Wow...those are some scary, scary versions of Households.
              >
              > No, M'Lord, with respect I must correct you.
              >
              > These are all THE SAME HOUSEHOLD DURING A SINGLE AFTERNOON.
              >
              > Now you should *really* be scared. {GRIN}
              >
              > Justin


              OK...the SAME household in ONE day? EGADS!

              Giudo
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