On Thursday 23 February 2006 13:21, Janelle W. wrote:
> Thank you so much for this very lengthy lesson :) It has proved very helpful
> to me as I was quite worried about knowing when to bow and what to call people
> at events. It is nice to have it put into terms that I can comprehend and
> remember. Thank you again!
Glad to be of help.
If you treat another person with respect and courtesy, and address them
by a respectful title -- even if it is not the formally correct one, because
you didn't know that information -- then they should respond in kind. Remember
that "My Lord" and "My Lady" as courtesy titles are correct for *anyone* when
their official title is unknown. You can be reasonably close as a guess, if
you use "My Lord/Lady" for people without crowns and "Your Excellency" for
people with crowns. Even if you've got it wrong, they will do one of
the following things:
1. Fail to notice the error, or choose to ignore it because they are
secure enough with themselves to not care all that much about their
title. Congratulations, you are doing fine.
2. Notice the error, and gently point out their correct title to you by
way of a "teaching moment", assuming that you are new or perhaps from
a different kingdom where titles and/or accoutrements of rank are
not the same. Congratulations, you have just found an excuse to
converse with a nice person who may end up being a new-found friend
or at least helping you learn some interesting new things about the SCA.
3. React like a jerk, haughtily pointing out your error. Congratulations,
you have just added one more name to the list of people whom you exceed
in virtue! See below. :-)
In case #1 and case #2, which are by far the most common, it is a situation
of "no harm, no foul", and the end result is happy for both of you.
In the rare case #3 (and I've seen this *maybe* once or twice in 15 years
in the SCA), there *is* a foul -- and it is *theirs* and not yours. This is
someone who needs to Get A Life [TM] and realize that the SCA is just a
game and their string of impressive-sounding titles won't even get them
a free cup of coffee at Starbucks. :-) Don't take it personally if (and
again, this is extremely unlikely) this happens to you. Instead, realize
that someone like that is either a mostly-decent person having a very bad
day and taking it out (unfairly, but also unintentionally) on you, or they
have a congenital case of egomania and they treat everybody this way. Ignore
them, for the only one they dishonor by this conduct is themselves. Leave
them to stew in their juices, and come and play with the other 99% of
the SCA. :-)
When all else fails, remember that even the "mightiest" SCAdians have to
work regular jobs just like the rest of us. As a very wise person once
"Fill it up with unleaded please, Your Grace."
Maistor Iustinos Tekton called Justin (Scott Courtney)
Gules, on a bezant a fleam sable and on a chief dovetailed Or two
keys fesswise reversed sable.
Marche of Alderford (Canton, Ohio) http://4th.com/sca/justin/
PGP Public Key at http://4th.com/keys/justin.pubkey