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RE: [SCA Newcomers] Hand Kissing questions

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  • Doug Gintaras
    A way around this is to kiss your own hand. That is, the hand hand of yours that accepts the lady s hand, you kiss (say, on your thumb). It sounds weird, but
    Message 1 of 4 , Jan 15, 2004
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      A way around this is to kiss your own hand. That is, the hand hand of yours
      that accepts the lady's hand, you kiss (say, on your thumb). It sounds
      weird, but in period, not everyone was as clean as most are today.
      Therefore, you had the society-accepted option to kiss your own hand and not
      contract illness and disease.

      Is that a good enough loop-hole?

      ~Gintaras Tauras, C.R.C.~
      Midrealm
      Midlands
      Ravenslake





      >From: "Garrett" <garrett241@...>
      >Reply-To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
      >To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
      >Subject: [SCA Newcomers] Hand Kissing questions
      >Date: Thu, 15 Jan 2004 12:25:19 -0000
      >
      >Greetings Mi Lords and Ladies,
      >
      >Alright, I know this sounds silly but I have some questions and i
      >hope the wisdom of the board can help me.
      >
      >When I first started in the SCA 14-15 years ago, I was in college,
      >single, ect ect. I loved kissing the hand of a lady I met. When
      >ever I was introduced to a lady or introduced myself I would kiss her
      >hand if she offered it.
      >
      >I fell off of the world for some time and after being gone ten or so
      >years I am just now coming back to the SCA. I'm now married and a
      >father of three kids. I'm not comfortable with the hand kissing
      >thing now. My Lady often does not attend SCA functions with me.
      >
      >So, what are the norms or unwriten rules of hand kissing. Is
      >it "proper" to just shake hands when meeting a lady for the first
      >time? Do ladies expect to have their hand kissed and are surpised
      >when a gentleman does not kiss her? Am I getting more worked up
      >about this then I need to be? (ok I already knew the answer to that
      >one..)
      >
      >Thank you one and all
      >Eric von Wald
      >
      >
      >

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    • Alison Choyce
      From a lady in agreement with the others advice, I ve been happily married 17 years, and when I was new to the SCA, I was very uncomfortable with hand-kissing
      Message 2 of 4 , Jan 16, 2004
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        From a lady in agreement with the others advice,

        I've been happily married 17 years, and when I was new to the SCA, I was
        very uncomfortable with hand-kissing or the light flirting that occurs in
        the SCA. I have over time become more comfortable, since I understand that
        most people have boundaries. I dance, and dance is very flirtatious. My
        husband dances a little, but not with the enthusiasm I have for it. It
        feels safe because once we are off the dance floor these men are just as
        friendly with my husband, and there is no sense of them being forward with
        me outside of dance.

        Many people are in a relationship and have no desire to hurt thier partner.
        If it is not fun or comfortable, then it is not worth making it part of your
        play. I think that, not only will most ladies will not be offended, many
        ladies will not even notice that it was a thought you struggled with. So,
        find your own comfort level, and have fun!

        In service, Alison Wodehalle
      • bronwynmgn@aol.com
        In a message dated 1/16/2004 2:18:36 AM Eastern Standard Time, scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com writes:
        Message 3 of 4 , Jan 16, 2004
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          In a message dated 1/16/2004 2:18:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,
          scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com writes:

          <<So, what are the norms or unwriten rules of hand kissing. Is
          it "proper" to just shake hands when meeting a lady for the first
          time? Do ladies expect to have their hand kissed and are surpised
          when a gentleman does not kiss her?>>

          Hmm. Now that you mention it...I think that particular custom has fallen by
          the wayside, at least in my area of the East. I can't remember the last time
          someone kissed my hand at an event. Hugs seem to be much more common among
          friends, and I think I have had a gentleman take my hand and sort of bow over
          it, but not kiss it - that might be a good option for you.




          Brangwayna Morgan
          Shire of Silver Rylle, East Kingdom
          Lancaster, PA


          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • shandra_
          Here are some websites regarding hand kissing that I ve found in my (newbie to SCA) websearch on everything SCA. ;)
          Message 4 of 4 , Jan 17, 2004
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            Here are some websites regarding hand kissing that I've found in my
            (newbie to SCA) websearch on everything SCA. ;)

            http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palladium/3792/kisses.html (the
            main site is geared toward teenagers in the SCA

            http://members.tripod.com/~whitebard/handkiss.htm The page name
            is "Hand kissing for the perplexed" and is a VERY compete guide on
            the many "distictions and meanings" behind various manners of hand
            kissing.

            Hope these help. :)
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