RE: [SCA Newcomers] Hand Kissing questions
- A way around this is to kiss your own hand. That is, the hand hand of yours
that accepts the lady's hand, you kiss (say, on your thumb). It sounds
weird, but in period, not everyone was as clean as most are today.
Therefore, you had the society-accepted option to kiss your own hand and not
contract illness and disease.
Is that a good enough loop-hole?
~Gintaras Tauras, C.R.C.~
>From: "Garrett" <garrett241@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Subject: [SCA Newcomers] Hand Kissing questions
>Date: Thu, 15 Jan 2004 12:25:19 -0000
>Greetings Mi Lords and Ladies,
>Alright, I know this sounds silly but I have some questions and i
>hope the wisdom of the board can help me.
>When I first started in the SCA 14-15 years ago, I was in college,
>single, ect ect. I loved kissing the hand of a lady I met. When
>ever I was introduced to a lady or introduced myself I would kiss her
>hand if she offered it.
>I fell off of the world for some time and after being gone ten or so
>years I am just now coming back to the SCA. I'm now married and a
>father of three kids. I'm not comfortable with the hand kissing
>thing now. My Lady often does not attend SCA functions with me.
>So, what are the norms or unwriten rules of hand kissing. Is
>it "proper" to just shake hands when meeting a lady for the first
>time? Do ladies expect to have their hand kissed and are surpised
>when a gentleman does not kiss her? Am I getting more worked up
>about this then I need to be? (ok I already knew the answer to that
>Thank you one and all
>Eric von Wald
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- From a lady in agreement with the others advice,
I've been happily married 17 years, and when I was new to the SCA, I was
very uncomfortable with hand-kissing or the light flirting that occurs in
the SCA. I have over time become more comfortable, since I understand that
most people have boundaries. I dance, and dance is very flirtatious. My
husband dances a little, but not with the enthusiasm I have for it. It
feels safe because once we are off the dance floor these men are just as
friendly with my husband, and there is no sense of them being forward with
me outside of dance.
Many people are in a relationship and have no desire to hurt thier partner.
If it is not fun or comfortable, then it is not worth making it part of your
play. I think that, not only will most ladies will not be offended, many
ladies will not even notice that it was a thought you struggled with. So,
find your own comfort level, and have fun!
In service, Alison Wodehalle
- In a message dated 1/16/2004 2:18:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,
<<So, what are the norms or unwriten rules of hand kissing. Is
it "proper" to just shake hands when meeting a lady for the first
time? Do ladies expect to have their hand kissed and are surpised
when a gentleman does not kiss her?>>
Hmm. Now that you mention it...I think that particular custom has fallen by
the wayside, at least in my area of the East. I can't remember the last time
someone kissed my hand at an event. Hugs seem to be much more common among
friends, and I think I have had a gentleman take my hand and sort of bow over
it, but not kiss it - that might be a good option for you.
Shire of Silver Rylle, East Kingdom
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
- Here are some websites regarding hand kissing that I've found in my
(newbie to SCA) websearch on everything SCA. ;)
main site is geared toward teenagers in the SCA
http://members.tripod.com/~whitebard/handkiss.htm The page name
is "Hand kissing for the perplexed" and is a VERY compete guide on
the many "distictions and meanings" behind various manners of hand
Hope these help. :)