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frustrated.

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  • angela
    Is it typical for newbies to have such a hard time? It took me forever to finally get in contact with my local group, actually took several months of email
    Message 1 of 32 , Apr 10, 2011
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      Is it typical for newbies to have such a hard time? It took me forever to finally get in contact with my local group, actually took several months of email tag and "I'm not involved with that group" or no answers, and even having to go way up the chain to even find an answer. Once I finally got in contact with a semi local and was invited to an event (which was great, though the group was more than an hour away) I met someone from my local group, but it wasn't more than a kind of vague welcome. When I showed up at a "meeting" I heard more about drinking at the previous event that they had attended, and partying there than anything else. They didn't even have a dedicated "Chatelaine" or even a non-official one to step up and so forth. I tried to reach out, but to little success. I am frustrated, as much as I would love to take part in the things I hear about on the internet and from a friend who lives in Colorado. Am I really going to have to wait until I move to a different area and hope that they are more helpful? Is this the way the society in general is and I'm just not fitting in? Or is it that as a single mom that has an interest in archery and not in the viking culture doesn't really have a place?
    • wren378
      I understand your frustration. I attended a few meetings of SCA with a roommate who was already a member. There was a definite line between the friendly
      Message 32 of 32 , Jun 17, 2011
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        I understand your frustration. I attended a few meetings of SCA with a roommate who was already a member. There was a definite line between the friendly people and the standoff-ish people. I went ahead and attended a couple ball/feasts but I didn't know anybody and they were lonely. Last year I tried attending a few meetings again. The weekday crowd was ok. Some were very friendly while others didn't talk to me. I decided to attend a sunday potluck and it was a disaster. Apart from two people who said hi when I showed up, no one talked to me. I tried to start a conversation with a couple people but it didn't go well and most of them completely ignored me. After being there for almost 2 hours, someone glanced in my direction and made a comment like "how long have you been there?" Then she made a big deal about her not noticing me and at one point proclaimed "I am a nice person". When my mom called a few minutes later, I used the excuse to leave. I just abandoned my food and ran. However my love of costuming and crafts led me to join SCA this year despite my bad experiences. I will stick to the few people who were nice and ignore the rest but I wouldn't be surprised if that group has trouble with recruitment. Then I was rummaging around in the pattern draws at Joann's one day while out of town and ran into 2 very friendly SCA members for that area. They invited me to events and were very nice. I'm actually considering making the 5 hour round trip to join their group instead of my local group. Sad but it's worth it to do what I love and feel welcome.

        --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Chris" <chris_brock00@...> wrote:
        >
        > Hail!
        > I will add my sorrow to your plight. As a young man I made contact with a local group. They were disorganized (many many queens and no worker bees)and not very welcoming. I had to do lots of reading and research. Worse yet it was 1992, so *gasp* no ready internet for ease of info. It got worse when I showed up to fighter practice as an 8th century Viking. You would have thought a third eye had sprouted in my head. My simple garb clashed with all the cote hardie's (sp) and pointy shoes. A campaign to convert me ensued. It pushed me out of the SCA for nearly 25 years. I found another group later who suited me much better. I moved to a different state after about two years in and out with them. I moved due to work. Now I am back in contact with a group in my new kingdom and everything so far is going good.
        > The point of my rambling is this, it isn't typical to have a hard time. It happens. It could be any number of things. Do not let a bad experience stop you from pursuing something. I missed out on 25 years of something I now enjoy immensely. Go to the group an hour away. Go to the local group. Make friends. The SCA is what you make it.
        >
        > Honorably,
        > Arngrimr Thorvaldson
        > --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Wind C" <biosigns83642@> wrote:
        > >
        > > I'm also sorry to hear that you're having such a bad time. I'm fortunate to have nearby friends in my Barony who can help me out with questions and equipment, but I also live in the most heavily populated region of my local group. I know some of the folks who live farther away may feel a bit isolated sometimes.
        > >
        > > I've heard this before from folks, and one remedy they recommend is that you may be happier with the group that's an hour away. An hour really isn't that long if it's something you enjoy. I used to travel a bit more each way to do equestrian stuff.
        > >
        > > It may very well be bad timing (I hope). Our music guild doesn't do much until we're getting ready for an event where we plan to play, for instance, and that's not at every event. So sometimes it probably looks like we a) don't have a music guild or b) aren't interested in newcomers playing with us, neither of which is true.
        > >
        > > Regardless, I hope that you do continue with the SCA, online if nowhere else!, and that you can get to some bigger events. Sometimes it helps to just boldly go up to someone and say "Hi, I'm new", or if that's not your style, finding someone who has an interesting outfit / shoes / instrument / bow / etc. and asking them about it is a great way to break the ice with them.
        > >
        > > Best wishes in Society,
        > > Katherine
        > >
        > > --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Regi" <hapa.gal.7@> wrote:
        > > >
        > > > Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time. As an ultra-newbie, personally I've never had any problems with getting in touch with anyone in my area (Caid /Lyondemere)so hopefully what's happening to you is just bad timing.
        > > >
        > > > --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "angela" <jademozingo@> wrote:
        > > > >
        > > > > Is it typical for newbies to have such a hard time? It took me forever to finally get in contact with my local group, actually took several months of email tag and "I'm not involved with that group" or no answers, and even having to go way up the chain to even find an answer.
        > > > >
        > > >
        > >
        >
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