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Re: Question about joining

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  • "BRYAN" Frank Douglas
    I have been in the SCA for about 26 years, and have moved in and out of a number of kingdoms. First you should do what keeps you coming back. You can play with
    Message 1 of 14 , Aug 3, 2008
      I have been in the SCA for about 26 years, and have moved in and out
      of a number of kingdoms.
      First you should do what keeps you coming back. You can play with
      any group you want were ever you live. I know a knight that for about
      5 years lived in New York, but only played in Texas.
      As time goes on if you want to hold an office some kingdoms have
      rules about how far a way you can live. Some time if an issue comes
      up that you need to be a locale payed member to vote on , you may
      lose your vote. This happens so rarely, I would not worry about it.
      And rules may be different in your area.
      Point being the more you play and learn about the workings of your
      Area in the SCA, the more your locale group may open up.
      I think that new people are the energy and magic that keeps the SCA
      alive. It is easy for a person who has played in one area for years
      to get a " this is my sand box" air about them. And because the like
      there sand box they protect it from all invaders, with out thinking
      that they were the new invaders once.
      I think it is important to work towards supporting your locale
      shire. Do not tear down or spread bad rumors. In most cases a lot of
      bad politics is so old no one can remember what caused the problem.
      And if a group is active at all there are and will be people that
      feel the same as you in your area. it is your challenge to be there
      to welcome them and spread the joy, not add to the negative.
      Going to events is the best why to get people to open up, and know
      that you are going to be there playing in there sand box so they
      should make friends. Volunteering for anything is the best why to
      show you are not going to kick sand in there face in there own sand
      box. you are dealing with there fears about themselves, not if the
      like or dislike you. having a loving nature is the best way to stop
      fear.



      --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"
      <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
      >
      > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
      that
      > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
      > understand why.
      >
      > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
      > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
      weekend.
      > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
      > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
      > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
      belong,
      > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
      >
      > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
      > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
      > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
      > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
      > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
      they
      > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
      being
      > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
      > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
      questions
      > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
      >
      > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
      > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
      this
      > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
      just
      > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
      >
      > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
      > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
      are
      > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
      just
      > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
      > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
      SCA
      > because of the above.
      >
      > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
      > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
      desire
      > to join the SCA.
      >
      > Teresa from nowhere land
      >
    • Lovedaia
      See why we love our Wiktor here in Calontir? Well said Dear Friend! Lovedaia ... [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      Message 2 of 14 , Aug 3, 2008
        See why we love our Wiktor here in Calontir?

        Well said Dear Friend!

        Lovedaia

        BRYAN" Frank Douglas wrote:
        >
        >
        > I have been in the SCA for about 26 years, and have moved in and out
        > of a number of kingdoms.
        > First you should do what keeps you coming back. You can play with
        > any group you want were ever you live. I know a knight that for about
        > 5 years lived in New York, but only played in Texas.
        > As time goes on if you want to hold an office some kingdoms have
        > rules about how far a way you can live. Some time if an issue comes
        > up that you need to be a locale payed member to vote on , you may
        > lose your vote. This happens so rarely, I would not worry about it.
        > And rules may be different in your area.
        > Point being the more you play and learn about the workings of your
        > Area in the SCA, the more your locale group may open up.
        > I think that new people are the energy and magic that keeps the SCA
        > alive. It is easy for a person who has played in one area for years
        > to get a " this is my sand box" air about them. And because the like
        > there sand box they protect it from all invaders, with out thinking
        > that they were the new invaders once.
        > I think it is important to work towards supporting your locale
        > shire. Do not tear down or spread bad rumors. In most cases a lot of
        > bad politics is so old no one can remember what caused the problem.
        > And if a group is active at all there are and will be people that
        > feel the same as you in your area. it is your challenge to be there
        > to welcome them and spread the joy, not add to the negative.
        > Going to events is the best why to get people to open up, and know
        > that you are going to be there playing in there sand box so they
        > should make friends. Volunteering for anything is the best why to
        > show you are not going to kick sand in there face in there own sand
        > box. you are dealing with there fears about themselves, not if the
        > like or dislike you. having a loving nature is the best way to stop
        > fear.
        >
        > --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
        > <mailto:scanewcomers%40yahoogroups.com>, "tpeterson1937"
        > <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
        > >
        > > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
        > that
        > > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
        > > understand why.
        > >
        > > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
        > > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
        > weekend.
        > > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
        > > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
        > > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
        > belong,
        > > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
        > >
        > > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
        > > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
        > > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
        > > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
        > > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
        > they
        > > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
        > being
        > > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
        > > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
        > questions
        > > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
        > >
        > > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
        > > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
        > this
        > > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
        > just
        > > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
        > >
        > > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
        > > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
        > are
        > > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
        > just
        > > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
        > > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
        > SCA
        > > because of the above.
        > >
        > > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
        > > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
        > desire
        > > to join the SCA.
        > >
        > > Teresa from nowhere land
        > >
        >
        >


        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Sæmundr inn skærr
        I had the same experience as you in the beginning. But I ve come to accept that people in the SCA, whether new to it or long time member, are generally not
        Message 3 of 14 , Aug 4, 2008
          I had the same experience as you in the beginning. But I've come to accept
          that people in the SCA, whether new to it or long time member, are generally
          not your normal social butterflies. There are exceptions, of course. If
          they were "normal" then they would be off on the weekends doing one of the
          many activities that all the mundanes do. But they have a love for SCA,
          history, arts, fighting, and so much more. They "types" of people that are
          attracted to the SCA dont fit into the societal norms but all are accepted
          here and so they come here. Disclaimer: I am speaking from general
          observations and there is nothing wrong with being normal or abnormal..
          those are the sticky labels that people like to use.

          So, I would consider myself a person that is some where between "normal" and
          not so normal. What I did was to find one or two people that generally
          accepted me and I learned from them. Some times i felt like a tag along but
          they didnt seem to mind and it helped me to become more familiar with the
          structure I was dealing with and it helped me to bond with atleast a small
          group. Then I participated in every single thing I could find to attend.
          Even if it were with another group (there are two baronies and one canton in
          my area). It helped when I got married because then I wasnt just a single
          guy looking for something to do (but I wouldnt suggest that as a course of
          action). We volunteered, we became officers, we filled spots that needed
          filled and now we feel fully accepted and engulfed in what we do.

          I would also suggest that if there are no workshops, that you begin putting
          some classes together. It doesnt matter that you are new. Find out what
          people are good at and ask them if they would lead a class for an hour or
          two on day. Then gather people from all over your area to attend. Become
          known as that people that gets interesting things started.

          Lastly, a friend of mine is a sales manager. They have a saying that goes
          something like "Weird rich, normal poor". Basically what that saying means
          is that if you go along with the same flow that everyone else is doing...
          then the same results will happen. But if you do something that is outside
          of the norms, there is an opportunity to find success.

          Hope that helps
          Sæmundr the pure
          Minister of Arts & Science
          Skorragarðr, Canton of Ansteorra

          --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"
          <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
          >
          > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
          that
          > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
          > understand why.
          >
          > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
          > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
          weekend.
          > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
          > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
          > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
          belong,
          > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
          >
          > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
          > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
          > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
          > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
          > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
          they
          > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
          being
          > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
          > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
          questions
          > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
          >
          > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
          > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
          this
          > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
          just
          > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
          >
          > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
          > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
          are
          > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
          just
          > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
          > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
          SCA
          > because of the above.
          >
          > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
          > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
          desire
          > to join the SCA.
          >
          > Teresa from nowhere land

          --
          Find all thats good in life at:
          http://saemundrthepure.blogspot.com/

          My life, my hobbies, and pictures at http://jimcouch.googlepages.com/


          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Otto von Schwyz
          There is nothing worst then a lethargic group when it comes to new members.  New members are the life blood of our society and that energy should be used to
          Message 4 of 14 , Aug 4, 2008
            There is nothing worst then a lethargic group when it comes to new members.� New members are the life blood of our society and that energy should be used to develop productive and vital individuals in a local group.

            When I first started, I was lucky enough to have a mentor to show me what is what.� I moved across the country and within a year I help start a Shire.� I was in an area that was 2+ hours from the nearest group so we had to come up with everything; made for some interesting and colorful traditions and quarks.� Most of the membership of this Shire was college age and money and travel was an issue.�

            As for your case, depends on how much energy you want to put into the local group.� You can start a class or workshop night; take a deputy position of an office; etc.� You mention that you�re not a social butterfly.� Nothing wrong with that, ice breakers; ask about their garb, armor, stuff and move into their personas.� You might find that this is boring or very interesting; I personally haven�t notice any middle ground with this line of questions.�

            The fact that they loaned you garb is a good thing; shows me that the group does care enough to help out.� Now, there is nothing wrong with playing with a different group.� If there isn�t a problem with transportation, then go for it.� You�ll learn things in the workgroups that you can take back to the local group if you like.

            Remember the majority care about the SCA and would love to have new members.� We might not show that often or at worst drive people off; but if you like you can contact me off list if you need someone to answer questions, bounce ideas off, vent, etc.

            Yours in Service,
            Herr Otto von Schwyz
            Society Chronicler, SCA, Inc.

            --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"

            Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know that I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will understand why.

            I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last weekend.� The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not wish to disgrace or embarrass or anger anyone in my group. So I will not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will belong, but rather post my question anonymously and hope for the best.

            Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and seem pretty lackadaisical (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire that DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I realize these people have a history with each other, and though they are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and being comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly, what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many questions and just don't feel like they want to help me.

            On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb this week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have just not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.

            Some of the things I have tried were to ask individuals about their personas, how long they have been involved, and what their interests are etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it just isn�t happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the SCA because of the above.

            So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.� Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my desire to join the SCA.

            Teresa from nowhere land




            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          • Sylvax
            Teresa, I have recently started to delve into the wonderful world of the SCA myself.  Unfortunately, my wifes and my schedules in the mundane world do not
            Message 5 of 14 , Aug 5, 2008
              Teresa,

              I have recently started to delve into the wonderful world of the SCA myself.  Unfortunately, my wifes and my schedules in the mundane world do not make it easy.  However, we get out there and just do our best to "fit in".  At our first event, a demo, we asked questions, helped with set-up, tear down, I even learned how to play Pachi-ball(sp?).  Great game...

              Anyway, as Saemund(sorry, don't know how to get the funky looking letters to come out) said, find a niche for yourself, start trying to arrange classes(the house closest to me has monthly scribal meetings, and the shire has weekly rapier and monthly fighter practice).  You want to make garb?  Ask the Hospitaller about it, he or she might be able to point you to someone who does a great job, and be able to show you where and how to get started.


              As far as being anonymous, using ones mundane name is great.  Unless everyone knows you by your mundane name because you have yet to choose an SCA name...like me.


              John, of Ansteorra






              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • wendy brown
              Greetings, I have a bachi ball set. We love to play. The funky looking letters are in the accessories... then system tools .... then character map. Have a
              Message 6 of 14 , Aug 10, 2008
                Greetings,
                I have a bachi ball set. We love to play.
                The funky looking letters are in the accessories... then system tools .... then character map.
                Have a great time in the sca.
                I am looking for info on a pirate game called Rhumb line. Any ideas?
                Ælfwynn of Lynford



                ----- Original Message ----
                From: Sylvax <sylvax2@...>
                To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: Tuesday, August 5, 2008 9:23:37 AM
                Subject: [SCA Newcomers] Re: Question about joining


                Teresa,

                I have recently started to delve into the wonderful world of the SCA myself.  Unfortunately, my wifes and my schedules in the mundane world do not make it easy.  However, we get out there and just do our best to "fit in".  At our first event, a demo, we asked questions, helped with set-up, tear down, I even learned how to play Pachi-ball(sp? ).  Great game...

                Anyway, as Saemund(sorry, don't know how to get the funky looking letters to come out) said, find a niche for yourself, start trying to arrange classes(the house closest to me has monthly scribal meetings, and the shire has weekly rapier and monthly fighter practice).  You want to make garb?  Ask the Hospitaller about it, he or she might be able to point you to someone who does a great job, and be able to show you where and how to get started.

                As far as being anonymous, using ones mundane name is great.  Unless everyone knows you by your mundane name because you have yet to choose an SCA name...like me.

                John, of Ansteorra

                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • Kathy
                Don t be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I m still not 100% comfortable. It ll work out though, it just takes time. It has occured to me -
                Message 7 of 14 , Aug 22, 2008
                  Don't be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I'm still
                  not 100% comfortable. It'll work out though, it just takes time. It
                  has occured to me - why bother to recruit members if you're not going
                  to retain them? I just went to my first Pennsic and as with other
                  events - it seems a lot of the communication is within "cliches" (for
                  lack of a better word.) But on the other hand, several people have
                  taken me (and my boyfriend) under their wings for periods of time and
                  have been AWESOMELY helpful and inspiring.

                  In thinking about it, I remember that the SCA is hands-on, not for
                  entertainment, like a Ren Fair. At one of my first events, there was
                  only one other new person and me. Then, the other person left. I
                  said "I hope you aren't staying here because of me." And, the old-
                  timers replied: "No, we're here for each other." Now I know that's
                  true. Sometimes when I go to events, it seems like there isn't that
                  much going on, but then I realize the old-timers are largely there to
                  hang out with their friends. I'm not discouraged, because I figure
                  I've got the rest of my life to get to know them. And I'm assuming
                  that that's a good deal of time even if I am in my 40s. ::grin::

                  Good luck,
                  Kaelyn
                • Kyla
                  It seems a lot of the communication is within clichés. I m sure what you meant was cliques - small groups of people who consider themselves to be in ,
                  Message 8 of 14 , Aug 23, 2008
                    " It seems a lot of the communication is within clichés.' "
                    I'm sure what you meant was cliques - small groups of people who consider
                    themselves to be 'in', but I love the idea of communicating in clichés -
                    hoary old sayings that are so common they are tedious.

                    I laughed so loud my guy came to see what was so funny!

                    Tabitha Pennywarden
                    Ravenslake, Midlands
                    Middle Kingdom


                    -----Original Message-----
                    From: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com [mailto:scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com]On
                    Behalf Of Kathy
                    Sent: Friday, August 22, 2008 3:44 PM
                    To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
                    Subject: [SCA Newcomers] Re: Question about joining


                    Don't be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I'm still
                    not 100% comfortable. It'll work out though, it just takes time. It
                    has occured to me - why bother to recruit members if you're not going
                    to retain them? I just went to my first Pennsic and as with other
                    events - it seems a lot of the communication is within "cliches" (for
                    lack of a better word.) But on the other hand, several people have
                    taken me (and my boyfriend) under their wings for periods of time and
                    have been AWESOMELY helpful and inspiring.

                    In thinking about it, I remember that the SCA is hands-on, not for
                    entertainment, like a Ren Fair. At one of my first events, there was
                    only one other new person and me. Then, the other person left. I
                    said "I hope you aren't staying here because of me." And, the old-
                    timers replied: "No, we're here for each other." Now I know that's
                    true. Sometimes when I go to events, it seems like there isn't that
                    much going on, but then I realize the old-timers are largely there to
                    hang out with their friends. I'm not discouraged, because I figure
                    I've got the rest of my life to get to know them. And I'm assuming
                    that that's a good deal of time even if I am in my 40s. ::grin::

                    Good luck,
                    Kaelyn






                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                  • saemunder38
                    We should be better at retention but we are all volunteers and not everyone has the personal skills to be good at that. My experience so far has been that the
                    Message 9 of 14 , Aug 25, 2008
                      We should be better at retention but we are all volunteers and not
                      everyone has the personal skills to be good at that. My experience so
                      far has been that the SCA is kind of like a big on-going party. People
                      that have been to the party before.. have met some people.. and started
                      creating friendships. People that havent, are nervous and still need
                      to find people they can consider friends. But you wouldnt think about
                      actively "retaining" someone at a party. You just have fun and expect
                      that everyone else is doing the same.

                      I know, I know.. I saw the second half of your email where you came to
                      the same conclusion.. but I am thinking outloud.. or in print. virtual
                      print. =) I think it would be helpful if we all promote the idea that
                      the way that each of us plays "The SCA" impacts the experience of all
                      others. There are folks in my barony that you would swear were time
                      warpped to this century. They ARE the part. I LOVE being around
                      them. Others.. arent there yet.

                      Ack, I got off track. If we all just TRY to take your attitude that
                      you have the rest of your life to get to know them.. then I think
                      we'll all be much better off.

                      Sæmundr (PS dont worry bout the funny letters. Most people just type
                      saemundr and I am perfectly fine with that)

                      --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Kathy" <kathy49503@...> wrote:
                      >
                      > Don't be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I'm still
                      > not 100% comfortable. It'll work out though, it just takes time. It
                      > has occured to me - why bother to recruit members if you're not going
                      > to retain them? I just went to my first Pennsic and as with other
                      > events - it seems a lot of the communication is within "cliches" (for
                      > lack of a better word.) But on the other hand, several people have
                      > taken me (and my boyfriend) under their wings for periods of time and
                      > have been AWESOMELY helpful and inspiring.
                    • Kathy
                      ARRGGGGHH! I hate it when I do that! ::blush:: Thanks for the clarification. Kaelyn
                      Message 10 of 14 , Aug 25, 2008
                        ARRGGGGHH! I hate it when I do that! ::blush::
                        Thanks for the clarification.

                        Kaelyn


                        --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Kyla" <skycat@...> wrote:

                        > I'm sure what you meant was cliques ......
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