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  • tpeterson1937
    Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know that I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will understand why. I have
    Message 1 of 14 , Jul 27, 2008
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      Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know that
      I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
      understand why.

      I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
      months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last weekend.
      The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
      wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
      not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will belong,
      but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.

      Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
      seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
      (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
      who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
      realize these people have a history with each other, and though they
      are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and being
      comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
      what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many questions
      and just don't feel like they want to help me.

      On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
      don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb this
      week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have just
      not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.

      Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
      personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests are
      etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it just
      isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
      think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the SCA
      because of the above.

      So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
      Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my desire
      to join the SCA.

      Teresa from nowhere land
    • tudorpot@gmail.com
      I think you should try the neighboring shire. If anyone asks, just explain that you wanted to attend workshops. Of course the group you had been part of may
      Message 2 of 14 , Aug 2, 2008
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        I think you should try the neighboring shire. If anyone asks, just
        explain that you wanted to attend workshops. Of course the group you
        had been part of may have workshops later in the year, so you might
        want to keep in touch with them as many groups work together at
        events and it would be far better to have not 'broken" with them. Who
        knows, they may be the sort that need lots of time before they open
        up to newcomers.


        Freda



        On Jul 27, 2008, at 6:21 PM, tpeterson1937 wrote:

        > so should I join another neighboring shire
        > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I



        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Justinos Tekton
        ... Per my other note on this topic and comments from others, visiting other groups is certainly a right and proper thing. You might also find that you
        Message 3 of 14 , Aug 2, 2008
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          On Sun, 2008-07-27 at 22:21 +0000, tpeterson1937 wrote:
          > For someone who is not a social butterfly,
          > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many questions
          > and just don't feel like they want to help me.

          Per my other note on this topic and comments from others, visiting other
          groups is certainly a right and proper thing. You might also find that
          you encounter people from your local group at events held in nearby
          shires, and that in itself may allow you to gradually become more
          acquainted with the local folk.

          Another good thing to do is to volunteer to help at an event, revel, or
          demo in the local group. Washing dishes after feast produces lots of new
          friendships. :-) I've done a lot of feast dishes, and these work tasks
          have turned into friendly discussions, war story swapping from events,
          and even bardic circles. (I actually had a couple of people come up to
          me at an event a few years ago and say, "We'll help do dishes if you'll
          start the sing-a-long circle like last time.")

          Volunteering doesn't necessarily mean holding an event staff job -- that
          may be hard to break into with an insular shire like the one you
          describe. But if you're at the event and you see people carrying chairs
          to set up for court or feast, offer to help. People will appreciate it
          and remember it, and next time you're at a meeting they are likely to be
          a bit more welcoming.

          Kind regards,

          Justin


          --
          ()xxxx[]::::::::::::::::::> <::::::::::::::::::[]xxxx()
          Maistor Justinos Tekton called Justin (Scott Courtney)
          Gules, on a bezant a fleam sable and on a chief dovetailed Or two keys
          fesswise reversed sable.

          justin@... http://4th.com/sca/justin/
        • Lovedaia
          Teresa, you are not alone. I also had a hard time in the beginning. I didn t change Shires, but I did change groups within my shire. I am now attending
          Message 4 of 14 , Aug 2, 2008
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            Teresa, you are not alone. I also had a hard time in the beginning. I
            didn't change Shires, but I did change groups within my shire. I am now
            attending archery practice each weekend instead of fighter practice,
            even though a broken shoulder and shredded rotator cuff keeps me from
            participating. Sometimes it's just a matter of tweaking what you are
            doing in the group. Our monthly populace meeting is over an hour from
            my home, and with gas prices I just can't attend, but feel that if I
            could, perhaps I could have fit in better????

            That being said, if you are close to another Shire meeting, by all means
            visit with them as well. Just don't get discourage, keep puttering
            around until you find a good fit for your interests and personality. I
            know it's hard, and I can't imagine how hard it is for shy people. As
            Rodrigo can't attest to, I don't have a shy bone in my body, but even
            so, it was difficult to get friendships started, and there are still
            times I feel like the outsider. It's that tricksey Gollum on my
            shoulder whispering mean things into my ear!

            Hang in there, keep reaching out. I'm very proud of you for staying
            with this !

            Lovedaia Makeblith in Calontir
          • "BRYAN" Frank Douglas
            I have been in the SCA for about 26 years, and have moved in and out of a number of kingdoms. First you should do what keeps you coming back. You can play with
            Message 5 of 14 , Aug 3, 2008
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              I have been in the SCA for about 26 years, and have moved in and out
              of a number of kingdoms.
              First you should do what keeps you coming back. You can play with
              any group you want were ever you live. I know a knight that for about
              5 years lived in New York, but only played in Texas.
              As time goes on if you want to hold an office some kingdoms have
              rules about how far a way you can live. Some time if an issue comes
              up that you need to be a locale payed member to vote on , you may
              lose your vote. This happens so rarely, I would not worry about it.
              And rules may be different in your area.
              Point being the more you play and learn about the workings of your
              Area in the SCA, the more your locale group may open up.
              I think that new people are the energy and magic that keeps the SCA
              alive. It is easy for a person who has played in one area for years
              to get a " this is my sand box" air about them. And because the like
              there sand box they protect it from all invaders, with out thinking
              that they were the new invaders once.
              I think it is important to work towards supporting your locale
              shire. Do not tear down or spread bad rumors. In most cases a lot of
              bad politics is so old no one can remember what caused the problem.
              And if a group is active at all there are and will be people that
              feel the same as you in your area. it is your challenge to be there
              to welcome them and spread the joy, not add to the negative.
              Going to events is the best why to get people to open up, and know
              that you are going to be there playing in there sand box so they
              should make friends. Volunteering for anything is the best why to
              show you are not going to kick sand in there face in there own sand
              box. you are dealing with there fears about themselves, not if the
              like or dislike you. having a loving nature is the best way to stop
              fear.



              --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"
              <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
              >
              > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
              that
              > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
              > understand why.
              >
              > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
              > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
              weekend.
              > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
              > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
              > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
              belong,
              > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
              >
              > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
              > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
              > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
              > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
              > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
              they
              > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
              being
              > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
              > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
              questions
              > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
              >
              > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
              > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
              this
              > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
              just
              > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
              >
              > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
              > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
              are
              > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
              just
              > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
              > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
              SCA
              > because of the above.
              >
              > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
              > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
              desire
              > to join the SCA.
              >
              > Teresa from nowhere land
              >
            • Lovedaia
              See why we love our Wiktor here in Calontir? Well said Dear Friend! Lovedaia ... [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              Message 6 of 14 , Aug 3, 2008
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                See why we love our Wiktor here in Calontir?

                Well said Dear Friend!

                Lovedaia

                BRYAN" Frank Douglas wrote:
                >
                >
                > I have been in the SCA for about 26 years, and have moved in and out
                > of a number of kingdoms.
                > First you should do what keeps you coming back. You can play with
                > any group you want were ever you live. I know a knight that for about
                > 5 years lived in New York, but only played in Texas.
                > As time goes on if you want to hold an office some kingdoms have
                > rules about how far a way you can live. Some time if an issue comes
                > up that you need to be a locale payed member to vote on , you may
                > lose your vote. This happens so rarely, I would not worry about it.
                > And rules may be different in your area.
                > Point being the more you play and learn about the workings of your
                > Area in the SCA, the more your locale group may open up.
                > I think that new people are the energy and magic that keeps the SCA
                > alive. It is easy for a person who has played in one area for years
                > to get a " this is my sand box" air about them. And because the like
                > there sand box they protect it from all invaders, with out thinking
                > that they were the new invaders once.
                > I think it is important to work towards supporting your locale
                > shire. Do not tear down or spread bad rumors. In most cases a lot of
                > bad politics is so old no one can remember what caused the problem.
                > And if a group is active at all there are and will be people that
                > feel the same as you in your area. it is your challenge to be there
                > to welcome them and spread the joy, not add to the negative.
                > Going to events is the best why to get people to open up, and know
                > that you are going to be there playing in there sand box so they
                > should make friends. Volunteering for anything is the best why to
                > show you are not going to kick sand in there face in there own sand
                > box. you are dealing with there fears about themselves, not if the
                > like or dislike you. having a loving nature is the best way to stop
                > fear.
                >
                > --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
                > <mailto:scanewcomers%40yahoogroups.com>, "tpeterson1937"
                > <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
                > >
                > > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
                > that
                > > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
                > > understand why.
                > >
                > > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
                > > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
                > weekend.
                > > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
                > > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
                > > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
                > belong,
                > > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
                > >
                > > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
                > > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
                > > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
                > > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
                > > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
                > they
                > > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
                > being
                > > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
                > > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
                > questions
                > > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
                > >
                > > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
                > > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
                > this
                > > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
                > just
                > > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
                > >
                > > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
                > > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
                > are
                > > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
                > just
                > > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
                > > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
                > SCA
                > > because of the above.
                > >
                > > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
                > > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
                > desire
                > > to join the SCA.
                > >
                > > Teresa from nowhere land
                > >
                >
                >


                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • Sæmundr inn skærr
                I had the same experience as you in the beginning. But I ve come to accept that people in the SCA, whether new to it or long time member, are generally not
                Message 7 of 14 , Aug 4, 2008
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                  I had the same experience as you in the beginning. But I've come to accept
                  that people in the SCA, whether new to it or long time member, are generally
                  not your normal social butterflies. There are exceptions, of course. If
                  they were "normal" then they would be off on the weekends doing one of the
                  many activities that all the mundanes do. But they have a love for SCA,
                  history, arts, fighting, and so much more. They "types" of people that are
                  attracted to the SCA dont fit into the societal norms but all are accepted
                  here and so they come here. Disclaimer: I am speaking from general
                  observations and there is nothing wrong with being normal or abnormal..
                  those are the sticky labels that people like to use.

                  So, I would consider myself a person that is some where between "normal" and
                  not so normal. What I did was to find one or two people that generally
                  accepted me and I learned from them. Some times i felt like a tag along but
                  they didnt seem to mind and it helped me to become more familiar with the
                  structure I was dealing with and it helped me to bond with atleast a small
                  group. Then I participated in every single thing I could find to attend.
                  Even if it were with another group (there are two baronies and one canton in
                  my area). It helped when I got married because then I wasnt just a single
                  guy looking for something to do (but I wouldnt suggest that as a course of
                  action). We volunteered, we became officers, we filled spots that needed
                  filled and now we feel fully accepted and engulfed in what we do.

                  I would also suggest that if there are no workshops, that you begin putting
                  some classes together. It doesnt matter that you are new. Find out what
                  people are good at and ask them if they would lead a class for an hour or
                  two on day. Then gather people from all over your area to attend. Become
                  known as that people that gets interesting things started.

                  Lastly, a friend of mine is a sales manager. They have a saying that goes
                  something like "Weird rich, normal poor". Basically what that saying means
                  is that if you go along with the same flow that everyone else is doing...
                  then the same results will happen. But if you do something that is outside
                  of the norms, there is an opportunity to find success.

                  Hope that helps
                  Sæmundr the pure
                  Minister of Arts & Science
                  Skorragarðr, Canton of Ansteorra

                  --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"
                  <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
                  >
                  > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
                  that
                  > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
                  > understand why.
                  >
                  > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
                  > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
                  weekend.
                  > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
                  > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
                  > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
                  belong,
                  > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
                  >
                  > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
                  > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
                  > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
                  > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
                  > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
                  they
                  > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
                  being
                  > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
                  > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
                  questions
                  > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
                  >
                  > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
                  > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
                  this
                  > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
                  just
                  > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
                  >
                  > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
                  > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
                  are
                  > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
                  just
                  > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
                  > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
                  SCA
                  > because of the above.
                  >
                  > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
                  > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
                  desire
                  > to join the SCA.
                  >
                  > Teresa from nowhere land

                  --
                  Find all thats good in life at:
                  http://saemundrthepure.blogspot.com/

                  My life, my hobbies, and pictures at http://jimcouch.googlepages.com/


                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                • Otto von Schwyz
                  There is nothing worst then a lethargic group when it comes to new members.  New members are the life blood of our society and that energy should be used to
                  Message 8 of 14 , Aug 4, 2008
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                    There is nothing worst then a lethargic group when it comes to new members.� New members are the life blood of our society and that energy should be used to develop productive and vital individuals in a local group.

                    When I first started, I was lucky enough to have a mentor to show me what is what.� I moved across the country and within a year I help start a Shire.� I was in an area that was 2+ hours from the nearest group so we had to come up with everything; made for some interesting and colorful traditions and quarks.� Most of the membership of this Shire was college age and money and travel was an issue.�

                    As for your case, depends on how much energy you want to put into the local group.� You can start a class or workshop night; take a deputy position of an office; etc.� You mention that you�re not a social butterfly.� Nothing wrong with that, ice breakers; ask about their garb, armor, stuff and move into their personas.� You might find that this is boring or very interesting; I personally haven�t notice any middle ground with this line of questions.�

                    The fact that they loaned you garb is a good thing; shows me that the group does care enough to help out.� Now, there is nothing wrong with playing with a different group.� If there isn�t a problem with transportation, then go for it.� You�ll learn things in the workgroups that you can take back to the local group if you like.

                    Remember the majority care about the SCA and would love to have new members.� We might not show that often or at worst drive people off; but if you like you can contact me off list if you need someone to answer questions, bounce ideas off, vent, etc.

                    Yours in Service,
                    Herr Otto von Schwyz
                    Society Chronicler, SCA, Inc.

                    --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"

                    Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know that I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will understand why.

                    I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last weekend.� The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not wish to disgrace or embarrass or anger anyone in my group. So I will not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will belong, but rather post my question anonymously and hope for the best.

                    Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and seem pretty lackadaisical (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire that DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I realize these people have a history with each other, and though they are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and being comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly, what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many questions and just don't feel like they want to help me.

                    On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb this week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have just not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.

                    Some of the things I have tried were to ask individuals about their personas, how long they have been involved, and what their interests are etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it just isn�t happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the SCA because of the above.

                    So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.� Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my desire to join the SCA.

                    Teresa from nowhere land




                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                  • Sylvax
                    Teresa, I have recently started to delve into the wonderful world of the SCA myself.  Unfortunately, my wifes and my schedules in the mundane world do not
                    Message 9 of 14 , Aug 5, 2008
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                      Teresa,

                      I have recently started to delve into the wonderful world of the SCA myself.  Unfortunately, my wifes and my schedules in the mundane world do not make it easy.  However, we get out there and just do our best to "fit in".  At our first event, a demo, we asked questions, helped with set-up, tear down, I even learned how to play Pachi-ball(sp?).  Great game...

                      Anyway, as Saemund(sorry, don't know how to get the funky looking letters to come out) said, find a niche for yourself, start trying to arrange classes(the house closest to me has monthly scribal meetings, and the shire has weekly rapier and monthly fighter practice).  You want to make garb?  Ask the Hospitaller about it, he or she might be able to point you to someone who does a great job, and be able to show you where and how to get started.


                      As far as being anonymous, using ones mundane name is great.  Unless everyone knows you by your mundane name because you have yet to choose an SCA name...like me.


                      John, of Ansteorra






                      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                    • wendy brown
                      Greetings, I have a bachi ball set. We love to play. The funky looking letters are in the accessories... then system tools .... then character map. Have a
                      Message 10 of 14 , Aug 10, 2008
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                        Greetings,
                        I have a bachi ball set. We love to play.
                        The funky looking letters are in the accessories... then system tools .... then character map.
                        Have a great time in the sca.
                        I am looking for info on a pirate game called Rhumb line. Any ideas?
                        Ælfwynn of Lynford



                        ----- Original Message ----
                        From: Sylvax <sylvax2@...>
                        To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
                        Sent: Tuesday, August 5, 2008 9:23:37 AM
                        Subject: [SCA Newcomers] Re: Question about joining


                        Teresa,

                        I have recently started to delve into the wonderful world of the SCA myself.  Unfortunately, my wifes and my schedules in the mundane world do not make it easy.  However, we get out there and just do our best to "fit in".  At our first event, a demo, we asked questions, helped with set-up, tear down, I even learned how to play Pachi-ball(sp? ).  Great game...

                        Anyway, as Saemund(sorry, don't know how to get the funky looking letters to come out) said, find a niche for yourself, start trying to arrange classes(the house closest to me has monthly scribal meetings, and the shire has weekly rapier and monthly fighter practice).  You want to make garb?  Ask the Hospitaller about it, he or she might be able to point you to someone who does a great job, and be able to show you where and how to get started.

                        As far as being anonymous, using ones mundane name is great.  Unless everyone knows you by your mundane name because you have yet to choose an SCA name...like me.

                        John, of Ansteorra

                        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






                        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                      • Kathy
                        Don t be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I m still not 100% comfortable. It ll work out though, it just takes time. It has occured to me -
                        Message 11 of 14 , Aug 22, 2008
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                          Don't be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I'm still
                          not 100% comfortable. It'll work out though, it just takes time. It
                          has occured to me - why bother to recruit members if you're not going
                          to retain them? I just went to my first Pennsic and as with other
                          events - it seems a lot of the communication is within "cliches" (for
                          lack of a better word.) But on the other hand, several people have
                          taken me (and my boyfriend) under their wings for periods of time and
                          have been AWESOMELY helpful and inspiring.

                          In thinking about it, I remember that the SCA is hands-on, not for
                          entertainment, like a Ren Fair. At one of my first events, there was
                          only one other new person and me. Then, the other person left. I
                          said "I hope you aren't staying here because of me." And, the old-
                          timers replied: "No, we're here for each other." Now I know that's
                          true. Sometimes when I go to events, it seems like there isn't that
                          much going on, but then I realize the old-timers are largely there to
                          hang out with their friends. I'm not discouraged, because I figure
                          I've got the rest of my life to get to know them. And I'm assuming
                          that that's a good deal of time even if I am in my 40s. ::grin::

                          Good luck,
                          Kaelyn
                        • Kyla
                          It seems a lot of the communication is within clichés. I m sure what you meant was cliques - small groups of people who consider themselves to be in ,
                          Message 12 of 14 , Aug 23, 2008
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                            " It seems a lot of the communication is within clichés.' "
                            I'm sure what you meant was cliques - small groups of people who consider
                            themselves to be 'in', but I love the idea of communicating in clichés -
                            hoary old sayings that are so common they are tedious.

                            I laughed so loud my guy came to see what was so funny!

                            Tabitha Pennywarden
                            Ravenslake, Midlands
                            Middle Kingdom


                            -----Original Message-----
                            From: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com [mailto:scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com]On
                            Behalf Of Kathy
                            Sent: Friday, August 22, 2008 3:44 PM
                            To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
                            Subject: [SCA Newcomers] Re: Question about joining


                            Don't be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I'm still
                            not 100% comfortable. It'll work out though, it just takes time. It
                            has occured to me - why bother to recruit members if you're not going
                            to retain them? I just went to my first Pennsic and as with other
                            events - it seems a lot of the communication is within "cliches" (for
                            lack of a better word.) But on the other hand, several people have
                            taken me (and my boyfriend) under their wings for periods of time and
                            have been AWESOMELY helpful and inspiring.

                            In thinking about it, I remember that the SCA is hands-on, not for
                            entertainment, like a Ren Fair. At one of my first events, there was
                            only one other new person and me. Then, the other person left. I
                            said "I hope you aren't staying here because of me." And, the old-
                            timers replied: "No, we're here for each other." Now I know that's
                            true. Sometimes when I go to events, it seems like there isn't that
                            much going on, but then I realize the old-timers are largely there to
                            hang out with their friends. I'm not discouraged, because I figure
                            I've got the rest of my life to get to know them. And I'm assuming
                            that that's a good deal of time even if I am in my 40s. ::grin::

                            Good luck,
                            Kaelyn






                            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                          • saemunder38
                            We should be better at retention but we are all volunteers and not everyone has the personal skills to be good at that. My experience so far has been that the
                            Message 13 of 14 , Aug 25, 2008
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                              We should be better at retention but we are all volunteers and not
                              everyone has the personal skills to be good at that. My experience so
                              far has been that the SCA is kind of like a big on-going party. People
                              that have been to the party before.. have met some people.. and started
                              creating friendships. People that havent, are nervous and still need
                              to find people they can consider friends. But you wouldnt think about
                              actively "retaining" someone at a party. You just have fun and expect
                              that everyone else is doing the same.

                              I know, I know.. I saw the second half of your email where you came to
                              the same conclusion.. but I am thinking outloud.. or in print. virtual
                              print. =) I think it would be helpful if we all promote the idea that
                              the way that each of us plays "The SCA" impacts the experience of all
                              others. There are folks in my barony that you would swear were time
                              warpped to this century. They ARE the part. I LOVE being around
                              them. Others.. arent there yet.

                              Ack, I got off track. If we all just TRY to take your attitude that
                              you have the rest of your life to get to know them.. then I think
                              we'll all be much better off.

                              Sæmundr (PS dont worry bout the funny letters. Most people just type
                              saemundr and I am perfectly fine with that)

                              --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Kathy" <kathy49503@...> wrote:
                              >
                              > Don't be discouraged. This is my second year in the SCA and I'm still
                              > not 100% comfortable. It'll work out though, it just takes time. It
                              > has occured to me - why bother to recruit members if you're not going
                              > to retain them? I just went to my first Pennsic and as with other
                              > events - it seems a lot of the communication is within "cliches" (for
                              > lack of a better word.) But on the other hand, several people have
                              > taken me (and my boyfriend) under their wings for periods of time and
                              > have been AWESOMELY helpful and inspiring.
                            • Kathy
                              ARRGGGGHH! I hate it when I do that! ::blush:: Thanks for the clarification. Kaelyn
                              Message 14 of 14 , Aug 25, 2008
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                                ARRGGGGHH! I hate it when I do that! ::blush::
                                Thanks for the clarification.

                                Kaelyn


                                --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "Kyla" <skycat@...> wrote:

                                > I'm sure what you meant was cliques ......
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