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  • Jess
    Hi, I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating. However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a meeting not knowing
    Message 1 of 13 , Mar 4, 2008
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      Hi,

      I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
      However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
      meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
      meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
      as well.


      Jess
    • heidi.ma2@gmail.com
      Hi, I felt just how you do! I just joined late last summer so I am fairly new also. This is what I did to just slip in and get to know people slowly (I
      Message 2 of 13 , Mar 4, 2008
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        Hi, I felt just how you do! I just joined late last summer so I am fairly new also. This is what I did to just slip in and get to know people slowly (I have a terrible memory for names, so I embarrass myself quite often)

        I found out when the fight practice was and started going just to watch. People would start talking to me and welcoming me to sit and talk. I also went to garb days to listen and learn. I love the group I play with, they have taken me under their wings and help me limp along.

        Hope this helps you.

        Heidi
        Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

        -----Original Message-----
        From: "Jess" <j_bear81@...>

        Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2008 02:06:58
        To:scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
        Subject: [SCA Newcomers] advice


        Hi,

        I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
        However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
        meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
        meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
        as well.

        Jess
      • Bhadra
        Hi Jess: Welcome to the Club! You will hopefully be encouraged to learn that most of us in the SCA are very shy as well and we were all just as nervous about
        Message 3 of 13 , Mar 4, 2008
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          Hi Jess:

          Welcome to the Club! You will hopefully be encouraged to learn that
          most of us in the SCA are very shy as well and we were all just as nervous
          about going to our first meeting, fighter practice, class or event.

          Now for the advice. Go to http://sca.org
          find the group nearest you.
          Email the chatelaine or hospitaller, same thing, they help newbies like you
          get started. If your local group is holding a class on SCA 101, go to it.
          Expect to have fun, you will, you know, we don't bite...maybe nibble...never
          mind.

          If they don't have a class for newbies your best bet is going to a fighter
          practice.
          Once there, enjoy watching the fighting, and chat with the people there.
          They won't come to you...sorry, you have to reach out to them.

          Suggestions to make you feel more at ease.
          Read Forward Into The Past
          Advice to Newcomers
          A Guiding Hand and
          Aoife's Newcomer's Guide I and II.

          That will give you some background so you at least
          know what the heck people are talking about.

          If your local group has a yahoogroup or
          listserve group join it, lurk a while, then join in on some of
          the "threads". Ask lots of questions, especially on this list.

          If you have something you are already good at
          or something you are interested in, like an art or craft
          (i.e. leatherworking, woodworking, metal work, embroidery,
          cooking, calligraphy, costuming (yes, guys do sew, embroider, knit, etc)
          those skills and interests are icebreakers.

          Bring your sense of humor and try not to be thin skinned or easily offended,
          in other words, don't take yourself or anyone else very seriously.
          The whole point is to learn, grow, and have fun.

          Pick out someone who you feel at least somewhat comfortable with
          who knows what they are doing and have them mentor you. It can be
          a Knight, Laurel, Pelican (these are people who know what they are doing
          and can help you. They are supposed to teach people...and they love doing
          it)

          You might even feel more comfortable if you have something to wear, ask the
          Chatelaine/Hospitaller for loaner garb. The best way to break your
          nervousness
          is to jump in and help out, volunteer to help lug stuff, or set up or
          whatever needs
          doing. People who work together really bond well and working helps you
          forget your
          self consciousness....and gets you kudos and respect.

          Remember, we all started out just like you, scared stiff and not knowing
          what to expect.

          Good luck and I hope to see you out at an event

          In Service to the Dream

          Sabina Maria d'Gibelet
          Barony of Bjornsborg
          Kingdom of Ansteorra



          -------Original Message-------

          From: Jess
          Date: 3/4/2008 8:30:39 PM
          To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: [SCA Newcomers] advice

          Hi,

          I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
          However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
          meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
          meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
          as well.


          Jess





          Yahoo! Groups Links




          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Briana Delaney
          Hey I joined in January and attend the weekly meetings but actually have made it to one event prior to GW! ... [Non-text portions of this message have been
          Message 4 of 13 , Mar 4, 2008
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            Hey I joined in January and attend the weekly meetings but actually have
            made it to one event prior to GW!

            On Tue, Mar 4, 2008 at 9:09 PM, <heidi.ma2@...> wrote:

            > Hi, I felt just how you do! I just joined late last summer so I am
            > fairly new also. This is what I did to just slip in and get to know people
            > slowly (I have a terrible memory for names, so I embarrass myself quite
            > often)
            >
            > I found out when the fight practice was and started going just to watch.
            > People would start talking to me and welcoming me to sit and talk. I also
            > went to garb days to listen and learn. I love the group I play with, they
            > have taken me under their wings and help me limp along.
            >
            > Hope this helps you.
            >
            > Heidi
            > Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
            >
            > -----Original Message-----
            > From: "Jess" <j_bear81@...>
            >
            > Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2008 02:06:58
            > To:scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
            > Subject: [SCA Newcomers] advice
            >
            >
            > Hi,
            >
            > I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
            > However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
            > meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
            > meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
            > as well.
            >
            > Jess
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > Yahoo! Groups Links
            >
            >
            >
            >


            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          • Shadocat@bellsouth.net
            Hi, Jess. My first suggestion is to try and make contact with at least one person by email, perhaps, before the meeting. Ask questions, and try to make a
            Message 5 of 13 , Mar 4, 2008
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              Hi, Jess.
              My first suggestion is to try and make contact with at least one person by email, perhaps, before the meeting. Ask questions, and try to make a friend. (Perhaps from an interest group that appeals to you? sewing, craft, etc.) This way, perhaps, that person might take you in wing, introduce you to the others, and make it clear that you are new.

              Either way, it seems that new folks are always welcome. It's just hard to tell a brand new person from a transfer from another area, etc. . . At least I've been mistaken as a transfer a couple of times.

              A great way to make friends, is to get into their mailing list, and look for opportunities to help out with 'anything'.

              Oh, and you know, the one question I wondered about myself on that first night,
              No one wears garb at the business meetings!

              - Pardus.
              -------------- Original message from "Jess" <j_bear81@...>: --------------




              Hi,

              I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
              However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
              meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
              meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
              as well.

              Jess



              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • Sean Healy
              Greetings m lord, I m new to the SCA also I m just coming up on one year. The first event I went to an event while I was checking in with the troll, I had
              Message 6 of 13 , Mar 4, 2008
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                Greetings m'lord, I'm new to the SCA also I'm just coming up on one year. The first event I went to an event while I was checking in with the troll, I had someone I work with come up behind me and tap me on the shoulder. The thing is I never knew before that that she was in the SCA. She helped me out quite a bet and introduced me around. The point is you really don't know who you may run into at an event or meeting.
                This Group has been a great help to me also. I have, after asking questions on this group, been lead to the hiurgeonate (the first aid squard of the SCA). There are tons of really friendly people involved in the SCA that when told that you are "new" will be only to willing to help you out.
                Pax
                Your servant, Sean the Poor





                ---------------------------------
                Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • Coblaith Mhuimhneach
                ... If your local branch has an e-mail list, consider joining it. You can lurk and observe for a while if you prefer, or introduce yourself through a simple
                Message 7 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                  Jess wrote:
                  > . . .I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
                  > meeting not knowing any one.

                  If your local branch has an e-mail list, consider joining it. You can
                  lurk and observe for a while if you prefer, or introduce yourself
                  through a simple e-mail. (In the latter case, include a little info on
                  what you think you might like to do in the S.C.A. That'll give others
                  in the area who share your interests the chance to "talk" to you about
                  what's going on.) Knowing a few folks "virtually" should make going to
                  a meeting more comfortable; it'll be more a matter of seeking out your
                  new friends than joining a group of strangers.


                  Coblaith Mhuimhneach
                  Barony of Bryn Gwlad
                  Kingdom of Ansteorra
                  <mailto:Coblaith@...>
                • Oakes, George
                  Jess, Can you tell us where you are so perhaps one of us who may be from your area/kingdom can talk to you directly. Also remember we were all new at one point
                  Message 8 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                    Jess,

                    Can you tell us where you are so perhaps one of us who may be from your
                    area/kingdom can talk to you directly.

                    Also remember we were all new at one point in time. So this is nothing
                    new, find out who your Hospitaler (person who welcomes and helps
                    newbies, some kingdoms have another name for this person too) is and
                    start talking with them.

                    find out if you are in a barony or shire? and what kingdom you are in.
                    if they have business meetings, I suggest going to one, sticking your
                    face in there, and saying, "Hi everyone Im new!" trust me the folks
                    there will inundate you with loads of info :)

                    DO not worry about a persona, or name yet. instead figure out what you
                    like to do. Attend fighter practice, or archery practice, or attend some
                    Arts & Sci functions (SCA crafts, this is where they learn and teach all
                    the stuff from sewing, to caligraphy, to leatherworking and much much
                    more) I myself am interested in brewing and leatherworking, I am also
                    into Archery, so my first task in the SCA was to become an authorized
                    Archery Ranger (a person who runs and manages the archery field) which I
                    have done successfully. Now I am looking forward to meeting with a
                    Laurel in brewing and Vinting and hopefully become an apprentice, or
                    aprrentice in leatherworking.

                    Welcome and we hope you find yourself a new home in the SCA

                    Yours in Service
                    Ranger Gavin Kinkade (George Oakes)
                    Barony of Marcaster, Kingdom of Trimaris (St. Petersburg, FL)


                    ________________________________

                    From: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com [mailto:scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com]
                    On Behalf Of Jess
                    Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:07 PM
                    To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com
                    Subject: [SCA Newcomers] advice



                    Hi,

                    I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
                    However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
                    meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
                    meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
                    as well.

                    Jess






                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                  • Justinos Tekton called Justin
                    ... Good morning Jess, and welcome! I might add to the above that in some kingdoms the newcomer officer is called the Chatelain(e). In either case, the advice
                    Message 9 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                      On Wednesday 05 March 2008 07:46:45 Oakes, George wrote:
                      > Also remember we were all new at one point in time. So this is nothing
                      > new, find out who your Hospitaler (person who welcomes and helps
                      > newbies, some kingdoms have another name for this person too) is and
                      > start talking with them.

                      Good morning Jess, and welcome!

                      I might add to the above that in some kingdoms the newcomer officer is called
                      the Chatelain(e). In either case, the advice to seek out this person in your
                      local group is well founded.

                      Welcome to the SCA!

                      Justin

                      --
                      ()xxxx[]::::::::::::::::::> <::::::::::::::::::[]xxxx()
                      Maistor Justinos Tekton called Justin (Scott Courtney)
                      Gules, on a bezant a fleam sable and on a chief dovetailed Or two
                      keys fesswise reversed sable.

                      Marche of Alderford (Canton, Ohio) http://4th.com/sca/justin/
                      justin@... PGP Public Key at http://4th.com/keys/justin.pubkey
                    • Justinos Tekton called Justin
                      ... P.S. -- I noted that Jessa remarked on her shyness. I ll mention in passing that my lady and I had the honor of being among the founding members of our
                      Message 10 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                        On Wednesday 05 March 2008 07:59:41 Justinos Tekton called Justin wrote:
                        > I might add to the above that in some kingdoms the newcomer officer is called
                        > the Chatelain(e). In either case, the advice to seek out this person in your
                        > local group is well founded.

                        P.S. -- I noted that Jessa remarked on her shyness. I'll mention in passing
                        that my lady and I had the honor of being among the founding members of our
                        local shire, the Marche of Alderford. At the time the shire was founded,
                        we were *all* new to the SCA.

                        At the first organizing meeting, a young lady who sat quietly and shyly at
                        the back of the room heard someone say that we would need a Chatelaine to
                        welcome newcomers to our group. M'Lady Meredydd stepped up to the challenge,
                        and became the finest Chatelaine a group could ever hope for! Because she
                        herself was shy around new acquaintances, she was able to relate to the
                        feelings of others, and she did a fantastic job in the office.

                        Again, welcome to the SCA! You will fit in just fine here.

                        Warm regards,

                        Justin

                        --
                        ()xxxx[]::::::::::::::::::> <::::::::::::::::::[]xxxx()
                        Maistor Justinos Tekton called Justin (Scott Courtney)
                        Gules, on a bezant a fleam sable and on a chief dovetailed Or two
                        keys fesswise reversed sable.

                        Marche of Alderford (Canton, Ohio) http://4th.com/sca/justin/
                        justin@... PGP Public Key at http://4th.com/keys/justin.pubkey
                      • bronwynmgn@aol.com
                        In a message dated 3/4/2008 9:30:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, j_bear81@hotmail.com writes:
                        Message 11 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                          In a message dated 3/4/2008 9:30:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
                          j_bear81@... writes:

                          <<I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating.
                          However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a
                          meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a
                          meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt
                          as well.>>

                          A lot of us were pretty shy when we started in the SCA. For some reason, it
                          tends to draw shy people :-) So we're used to it, and lot of us have been
                          there, myself included. In fact, the SCA is one of the reasons why I am not
                          nearly as shy as I used to be. It tends to be a pretty supportive
                          environment (not always, there are always people who want to put someone down to make
                          themselves feel bigger, but as a whole the SCA is better than general society
                          by a long shot). Generally, if you are willing to try something, there will
                          be someone to back you up and tell you that you CAN do this.
                          Put it this way. When I got out of high school, I had a shell so thick that
                          almost nothing could break through it. I very deliberately had developed a
                          policy of never reacting to anything because then nobody could use my
                          reactions against me. The first step in breaking through it was actually a
                          role-playing club I got into in college. At the first meeting I went to, during a
                          break in the meeting one of the guys came over and without a word, picked up me
                          and the chair I was sitting on and swung me in circles all around the room.
                          I yelled at him to put me down, which he did, and then I asked him why he
                          had done it. His answer was "I had to get you to react to SOMETHING!" That
                          group spent months - years, really - getting me out of that shell. (And yes,
                          I'm still in touch with some of them after more than 20 years.) A few years
                          after I started hanging out with them, I met the SCA. I was still pretty shy
                          and not very self-confident, so much so that my first boss had commented on
                          the fact that I needed to improve my self-confidence if I was going to do well
                          in my career (I'm a physical therapist). The SCA gave me a place where I
                          could experiment with taking on authority - running events, being an officer,
                          etc, that was a bigger circle than the role-playing club, but not as big as
                          the real world. Now, I can teach classes, speak in public at work, and so
                          forth without freezing up. I even sing solo at SCA events, (and only at SCA
                          events) because I know that I will have a courteous audience, and that if anyone
                          feels the need to comment, they will mostly likely give me a gentle
                          suggestion instead of telling me I stink. I know this because I have seen some really
                          bad performers get up and perform at SCA events, and be received politely.

                          My advice is to take it slowly. Don't try to push yourself to something too
                          far outside your comfort level too quickly. If somebody tells you that you
                          HAVE to go to the great party and perform, it's OK to tell them that you
                          aren't into that, or that you'd like to go to just watch. It will be respected
                          in most cases. But definitely try to stretch your wings a little.


                          Brangwayna Morgan
                          Shire of Silver Rylle, East Kingdom
                          Lancaster, PA



                          **************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms, and advice on AOL Money &
                          Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolprf00030000000001)


                          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                        • PATRICIA BENTLEY
                          Jess Dont be nervous as most in all groups will make you feel welcome the moment you walk in if it is easier for you meet people with a friend in tow then pick
                          Message 12 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                            Jess

                            Dont be nervous as most in all groups will make you feel welcome the moment you walk in if it is easier for you meet people with a friend in tow then pick up on the newbie board and become friends with others first make your first event something simple. A class or fighting group were it is small and not as busy, YOu can also meet up wiht the chaitlaine of your group first and ask to meet her/ him then you can arrange a meeting at the event or before so you are not going in completely blind. Remember you are going to have fun and learn new things and everyone is new at something once or twice in there life. Be yourself and enjoy before you know you will be making more friends then you can name

                            gisele


                            To: scanewcomers@yahoogroups.comFrom: j_bear81@...: Wed, 5 Mar 2008 02:06:58 +0000Subject: [SCA Newcomers] advice




                            Hi,I just learned about SCA and am very interested in participating. However I am a fairly shy person and am very nervous about going to a meeting not knowing any one. I could use some advice on going to a meeting for the first time. Some words of encouragement would not hurt as well.Jess






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                            Shed those extra pounds with MSN and The Biggest Loser!
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                            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                          • Let's just leave it as "Sean"
                            My deepest apologies for addressing you as M lord. I saw Jess and thought Jesse (as in James). I truly feel the dullard for assuming, we all know what
                            Message 13 of 13 , Mar 5, 2008
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                              My deepest apologies for addressing you as M'lord. I saw Jess and
                              thought Jesse (as in James). I truly feel the dullard for assuming,
                              we all know what happens when you assume.
                              Once again my deepest and most sincere apologies.
                              Pax, Sean the Poor
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