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13538re: Question about joining

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  • Sæmundr inn skærr
    Aug 4, 2008
      I had the same experience as you in the beginning. But I've come to accept
      that people in the SCA, whether new to it or long time member, are generally
      not your normal social butterflies. There are exceptions, of course. If
      they were "normal" then they would be off on the weekends doing one of the
      many activities that all the mundanes do. But they have a love for SCA,
      history, arts, fighting, and so much more. They "types" of people that are
      attracted to the SCA dont fit into the societal norms but all are accepted
      here and so they come here. Disclaimer: I am speaking from general
      observations and there is nothing wrong with being normal or abnormal..
      those are the sticky labels that people like to use.

      So, I would consider myself a person that is some where between "normal" and
      not so normal. What I did was to find one or two people that generally
      accepted me and I learned from them. Some times i felt like a tag along but
      they didnt seem to mind and it helped me to become more familiar with the
      structure I was dealing with and it helped me to bond with atleast a small
      group. Then I participated in every single thing I could find to attend.
      Even if it were with another group (there are two baronies and one canton in
      my area). It helped when I got married because then I wasnt just a single
      guy looking for something to do (but I wouldnt suggest that as a course of
      action). We volunteered, we became officers, we filled spots that needed
      filled and now we feel fully accepted and engulfed in what we do.

      I would also suggest that if there are no workshops, that you begin putting
      some classes together. It doesnt matter that you are new. Find out what
      people are good at and ask them if they would lead a class for an hour or
      two on day. Then gather people from all over your area to attend. Become
      known as that people that gets interesting things started.

      Lastly, a friend of mine is a sales manager. They have a saying that goes
      something like "Weird rich, normal poor". Basically what that saying means
      is that if you go along with the same flow that everyone else is doing...
      then the same results will happen. But if you do something that is outside
      of the norms, there is an opportunity to find success.

      Hope that helps
      Sæmundr the pure
      Minister of Arts & Science
      Skorragarðr, Canton of Ansteorra

      --- In scanewcomers@yahoogroups.com, "tpeterson1937"
      <tpeterson1937@...> wrote:
      > Hello to all! I will be forthright with you all and let you know
      > I am writing under an assumed name. Please read on and you will
      > understand why.
      > I have recently joined the SCA. I have attended meetings for a few
      > months (we meet every week) and attended my first event last
      > The reason I am writing under an assumed name, is because I do not
      > wish to discrace or embarass or anger anyone in my group. So I will
      > not disclose either the shire or the kingdom to which I will
      > but rather post my question anonmously and hope for the best.
      > Most of the members in my group have been in the SCA for years and
      > seem pretty lackadasial (sp?) We do not have workshops at meetings
      > (only fighter practices) so should I join another neighboring shire
      > who DO have workshops and have interests closer to mine? Also, I
      > realize these people have a history with each other, and though
      > are on the surface friendly, I have had a hard time sharing and
      > comfortable with them. For someone who is not a social butterfly,
      > what are some ways for me to break the ice? I have so many
      > and just don't feel like they want to help me.
      > On the positive side, they loaned me garb for my event and since I
      > don't want to overstay my welcome and will be returning the garb
      > week. I don't want to be seen as a leech or anything, but I have
      > not felt like they were glad for me to be in the group.
      > Some of the things I have tried was to ask individuals about their
      > personas, how long they have been involved, what their interests
      > etc. I feel like I have really tried to make conversation but it
      > isnt happening. I really enjoy studying the time period and hate to
      > think I would not enjoy myself and would not be able to be in the
      > because of the above.
      > So please if you all have any ideas, I would love to hear them.
      > Please be kind as I am just two steps away from abandoning my
      > to join the SCA.
      > Teresa from nowhere land

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