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  • Park McKellop
    From the lost chapters of The Art of War: From http://www.mcsweeneys.net Ten Precepts From *The Art of War* That Never Made It Past Sun Tzu s Editor. BY JOHN
    Message 1 of 5 , Aug 28, 2005
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      From the lost chapters of The Art of War:

      From http://www.mcsweeneys.net
      Ten Precepts
      From *The Art of War*
      That Never Made It
      Past Sun Tzu's
      Editor.

      BY JOHN KEARNEY <kearney_john@...>

      - - - -

      1. When you sally forth to meet the enemy, show your contempt for him
      by the
      haughtiness of your prance.

      2. Confuse your enemy with mixed metaphors. Be like the wind beneath
      his
      keel.

      3. All warfare is based on deception. When the enemy draws near to you,
      cry
      out, "Look out behind you." When he turns to look behind him, attack.

      4. Always keep the blades of your weapons sharp. It is the way of the
      ginsu.


      5. Always keep the hair of your men shorn close to the scalp. Nobody
      likes
      hippies.

      6. All warfare is based on deception. When the enemy draws near to you,
      cry
      out, "You spilled soup all down the front of your tunic." When he looks
      down
      at the front of his tunic, attack.

      7. Never lend money to your men just before a battle.

      8. Demoralize your enemy by whispering and giggling and then suddenly
      going
      silent as he draws near. When he asks what you were talking about, say,
      "Oh,
      nothing."

      9. Never allow your men to paint flowers or colorful swirls on the
      sides of
      their chariots. Nobody likes hippies.

      10. Confound your enemy with precepts that sound profound but actually
      make
      little or no sense. Be to him as the stallion is to the necktie.

      and

      Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is at Walmart in a "Blaxploitation Film" display for $5.50.




      Alcyoneus

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    • Trish Bentley
      This is the sound of the Editor s one hand slapping Sun Tzu. -Toriko ... __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam?
      Message 2 of 5 , Aug 29, 2005
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        This is the sound of the Editor's one hand slapping
        Sun Tzu.

        -Toriko

        --- Park McKellop <squire009@...> wrote:

        > From the lost chapters of The Art of War:
        >
        > From http://www.mcsweeneys.net
        > Ten Precepts
        > From *The Art of War*
        > That Never Made It
        > Past Sun Tzu's
        > Editor.


        __________________________________________________
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        Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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      • Solveig Throndardottir
        Noble Cousins! Greetings from Solveig! ... You Rinzaishuu people you. Your Humble Servant Solveig Throndardottir Amateur Scholar
        Message 3 of 5 , Aug 29, 2005
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          Noble Cousins!

          Greetings from Solveig!

          > This is the sound of the Editor's one hand slapping
          > Sun Tzu.

          You Rinzaishuu people you.

          Your Humble Servant
          Solveig Throndardottir
          Amateur Scholar

          +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
          | Barbara Nostrand, Ph.D. | Solveig Throndardottir, CoM, CoS, Fleur |
          | deMoivre Institute | Carolingia Statis Mentis Est |
          | mailto:nostrand@... | mailto:Solveig@... |
          +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
          | Note. Many popular "free" email services are automatically routed to |
          | the trash by my email filters. |
          +----------------------------------------------------------------------+


          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • skanemermaid
          ... Quack! Wah haw! Wah haw! ROFL! ROFL!
          Message 4 of 5 , Aug 30, 2005
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            > > This is the sound of the Editor's one hand slapping
            > > Sun Tzu.
            >
            > You Rinzaishuu people you.

            Quack! Wah haw! Wah haw!
            ROFL!
            ROFL!
          • Park McKellop
            Shouldn t that be ROFR! ROFR! ? ... Alcyoneus ... Quack! Wah haw! Wah haw! ROFL! ROFL! __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!?
            Message 5 of 5 , Aug 30, 2005
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              Shouldn't that be

              ROFR!
              ROFR!
              ?
              :-รพ

              Alcyoneus

              skanemermaid <skanemermaid@...> wrote:

              > > This is the sound of the Editor's one hand slapping
              > > Sun Tzu.
              >
              > You Rinzaishuu people you.

              Quack! Wah haw! Wah haw!
              ROFL!
              ROFL!

              __________________________________________________
              Do You Yahoo!?
              Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
              http://mail.yahoo.com

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