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Renhai #68: Re: 'Endless Possibilities'....Trish/Gillena

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  • Vaughn Seward
    I have logged this as Renhai #68: http://tinyurl.com/4ly58l I hope to post a few comments over the weekend. Vaughn
    Message 1 of 10 , Aug 1, 2008
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      I have logged this as Renhai #68:
      http://tinyurl.com/4ly58l

      I hope to post a few comments over the weekend.

      Vaughn

      --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, "gillena2001" <bgeecee@...> wrote:
      >
      >
      > C&C invited
      >
      > 'Endless Possibilities'
      >
      >
      > marmalade cat
      > looks out the window,
      > tail twitching /ts
      >
      >
      > A post card in the mail box. /gc
      > Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
      >
      >
      > church spire's reach
      > high into the cumulus -
      > a rainbow arcs /gc
      >
      >
      >
      > Theme: Distance
      > Season: Spring
      > Kigo: Kite
      > Links: 1-2 tail/kite
      > Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
      > Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
      > July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
      >
      > much love
      > gillena
      > [B-)]
      >
    • Vaughn Seward
      C&C invited Endless Possibilities marmalade cat looks out the window, tail twitching /ts A post card in the mail box. /gc Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
      Message 2 of 10 , Aug 3, 2008
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        C&C  invited

        'Endless Possibilities'


        marmalade cat
        looks out the window,
        tail twitching   /ts


        A post card in the mail box. /gc
        Kite flying weather arrives; /ts


        church spire's reach
        high into the cumulus -
        a rainbow arcs    /gc

         

        Theme: Distance
        Season: Spring
        Kigo: Kite
        Links: 1-2  tail/kite
        Links: 2-3  arrives/reach
        Links: 3-4  movement- clouds/tail
        July 2008  Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox

        much love
        gillena
        B-)

        ____________

        This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical remarks:

        1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what there is to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".

        2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a haiku-like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a post card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to "fly" for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post card / weather).

        3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches" for the first line.

        4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the verses, I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit of a stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the pun).

        5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-)  The link between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might be "Spire / Tail".

        Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring feeling.

        Vaughn

      • Trish Shields
        Hi, Vaughn: Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the comma/ dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just beyond the
        Message 3 of 10 , Aug 3, 2008
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          Hi, Vaughn:

          Thanks for your comments.  I agree with your comment about the comma/dash, changing of words in L3.  Endless possibilities lie just beyond the pane for the cat, its tail twitching.  Will the news contained in the letter be good or bad?  In the case of the kite, it is good (weather).  The church has endless possibilities, one of which is salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is still inside and not outside prowling?  Clouds don't always offer rain - they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for weeks if at all.  If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will increase - waiting under the rainbow.

          As you can see, all things are possible.  Another link is pane in verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully (play on words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory of a childhood long past in verse two.  The pane in verse three alludes to the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of which look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.

          Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to leap to a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between the solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it turns into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the church and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that same rainbow can seem so close, so far away.

          Trish

          On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:

          C&C  invited

          'Endless Possibilities'


          marmalade cat
          looks out the window
          twitching tail  /ts


          A post card in the mail box. /gc
          Kite flying weather arrives; /ts


          church spire's reach
          high into the cumulus -
          a rainbow arcs    /gc

           

          Theme: Distance
          Season: Spring
          Kigo: Kite
          Links: 1-2  tail/kite
          Links: 2-3  arrives/reach
          Links: 3-4  movement- clouds/tail
          July 2008  Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox

          much love
          gillena
          B-)

          ____________

          This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical remarks:

          1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what there is to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".

          2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a haiku-like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a post card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to "fly" for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post card / weather).

          3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches" for the first line.

          4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the verses, I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit of a stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the pun).

          5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-)  The link between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might be "Spire / Tail".

          Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring feeling.

          Vaughn


        • Vaughn Seward
          Trish, Thank you for this extra information and analysis. Vaughn
          Message 4 of 10 , Aug 4, 2008
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            Trish,

            Thank you for this extra information and analysis.

            Vaughn

            --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@...> wrote:
            >
            > Hi, Vaughn:
            >
            > Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the comma/
            > dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just beyond
            > the pane for the cat, its tail twitching. Will the news contained in
            > the letter be good or bad? In the case of the kite, it is good
            > (weather). The church has endless possibilities, one of which is
            > salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is still
            > inside and not outside prowling? Clouds don't always offer rain -
            > they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for weeks
            > if at all. If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will increase -
            > waiting under the rainbow.
            >
            > As you can see, all things are possible. Another link is pane in
            > verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully (play on
            > words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory of a
            > childhood long past in verse two. The pane in verse three alludes to
            > the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of which
            > look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.
            >
            > Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to leap to
            > a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between the
            > solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it turns
            > into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the church
            > and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that same
            > rainbow can seem so close, so far away.
            >
            > Trish
            >
            > On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
            >
            > > C&C invited
            > >
            > > 'Endless Possibilities'
            > >
            > >
            > > marmalade cat
            > > looks out the window
            > > twitching tail /ts
            > >
            > >
            > > A post card in the mail box. /gc
            > > Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
            > >
            > >
            > > church spire's reach
            > > high into the cumulus -
            > > a rainbow arcs /gc
            > >
            > >
            > > Theme: Distance
            > > Season: Spring
            > > Kigo: Kite
            > > Links: 1-2 tail/kite
            > > Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
            > > Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
            > > July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
            > >
            > > much love
            > > gillena
            > >
            > >
            > > ____________
            > >
            > > This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical
            > > remarks:
            > >
            > > 1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a
            > > twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what there is
            > > to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch
            > > the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".
            > >
            > > 2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a haiku-
            > > like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just
            > > linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a post
            > > card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to "fly"
            > > for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually
            > > "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post
            > > card / weather).
            > >
            > > 3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical
            > > problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches" for
            > > the first line.
            > >
            > > 4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the verses,
            > > I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit of a
            > > stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the pun).
            > >
            > > 5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-) The link
            > > between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't
            > > even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might be
            > > "Spire / Tail".
            > >
            > > Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring
            > > feeling.
            > >
            > > Vaughn
            > >
            >
          • Trish Shields
            Hi, Vaughn. Well, back online. I ve missed so much and so much of my inbox is missing! Can anyone bring me up to date? Trish
            Message 5 of 10 , Aug 29, 2008
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              Hi, Vaughn.

              Well, back online. I've missed so much and so much of my inbox is
              missing! Can anyone bring me up to date?

              Trish

              On 4-Aug-08, at 7:08 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:

              > Trish,
              >
              > Thank you for this extra information and analysis.
              >
              > Vaughn
              >
              > --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@...> wrote:
              >>
              >> Hi, Vaughn:
              >>
              >> Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the comma/
              >> dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just beyond
              >> the pane for the cat, its tail twitching. Will the news contained in
              >> the letter be good or bad? In the case of the kite, it is good
              >> (weather). The church has endless possibilities, one of which is
              >> salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is still
              >> inside and not outside prowling? Clouds don't always offer rain -
              >> they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for
              >> weeks
              >> if at all. If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will increase -
              >> waiting under the rainbow.
              >>
              >> As you can see, all things are possible. Another link is pane in
              >> verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully (play
              >> on
              >> words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory of a
              >> childhood long past in verse two. The pane in verse three alludes to
              >> the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of which
              >> look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.
              >>
              >> Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to leap to
              >> a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between the
              >> solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it
              >> turns
              >> into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the church
              >> and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that
              >> same
              >> rainbow can seem so close, so far away.
              >>
              >> Trish
              >>
              >> On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
              >>
              >>> C&C invited
              >>>
              >>> 'Endless Possibilities'
              >>>
              >>>
              >>> marmalade cat
              >>> looks out the window
              >>> twitching tail /ts
              >>>
              >>>
              >>> A post card in the mail box. /gc
              >>> Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
              >>>
              >>>
              >>> church spire's reach
              >>> high into the cumulus -
              >>> a rainbow arcs /gc
              >>>
              >>>
              >>> Theme: Distance
              >>> Season: Spring
              >>> Kigo: Kite
              >>> Links: 1-2 tail/kite
              >>> Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
              >>> Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
              >>> July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
              >>>
              >>> much love
              >>> gillena
              >>>
              >>>
              >>> ____________
              >>>
              >>> This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical
              >>> remarks:
              >>>
              >>> 1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a
              >>> twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what there is
              >>> to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch
              >>> the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".
              >>>
              >>> 2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a haiku-
              >>> like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just
              >>> linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a post
              >>> card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to "fly"
              >>> for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually
              >>> "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post
              >>> card / weather).
              >>>
              >>> 3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical
              >>> problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches" for
              >>> the first line.
              >>>
              >>> 4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the verses,
              >>> I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit of a
              >>> stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the pun).
              >>>
              >>> 5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-) The link
              >>> between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't
              >>> even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might be
              >>> "Spire / Tail".
              >>>
              >>> Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring
              >>> feeling.
              >>>
              >>> Vaughn
              >>>
              >>
              >
              >
              >
              > ------------------------------------
              >
              > Yahoo! Groups Links
              >
              >
              >
            • Vaughn Seward
              Trish, I m not sure how long ago you went off-line. :-) But a few renhai have been written recently including a solo that I did. These will be posted in the
              Message 6 of 10 , Aug 31, 2008
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                Trish,

                I'm not sure how long ago you went off-line. :-) But a few renhai have
                been written recently including a solo that I did. These will be
                posted in the August issue of Sketchbook. I have some other news which
                I will post separately.

                Vaughn

                --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@...> wrote:
                >
                > Hi, Vaughn.
                >
                > Well, back online. I've missed so much and so much of my inbox is
                > missing! Can anyone bring me up to date?
                >
                > Trish
                >
                > On 4-Aug-08, at 7:08 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                >
                > > Trish,
                > >
                > > Thank you for this extra information and analysis.
                > >
                > > Vaughn
                > >
                > > --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@> wrote:
                > >>
                > >> Hi, Vaughn:
                > >>
                > >> Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the comma/
                > >> dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just beyond
                > >> the pane for the cat, its tail twitching. Will the news contained in
                > >> the letter be good or bad? In the case of the kite, it is good
                > >> (weather). The church has endless possibilities, one of which is
                > >> salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is still
                > >> inside and not outside prowling? Clouds don't always offer rain -
                > >> they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for
                > >> weeks
                > >> if at all. If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will increase -
                > >> waiting under the rainbow.
                > >>
                > >> As you can see, all things are possible. Another link is pane in
                > >> verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully (play
                > >> on
                > >> words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory of a
                > >> childhood long past in verse two. The pane in verse three alludes to
                > >> the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of which
                > >> look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.
                > >>
                > >> Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to leap to
                > >> a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between the
                > >> solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it
                > >> turns
                > >> into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the church
                > >> and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that
                > >> same
                > >> rainbow can seem so close, so far away.
                > >>
                > >> Trish
                > >>
                > >> On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                > >>
                > >>> C&C invited
                > >>>
                > >>> 'Endless Possibilities'
                > >>>
                > >>>
                > >>> marmalade cat
                > >>> looks out the window
                > >>> twitching tail /ts
                > >>>
                > >>>
                > >>> A post card in the mail box. /gc
                > >>> Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
                > >>>
                > >>>
                > >>> church spire's reach
                > >>> high into the cumulus -
                > >>> a rainbow arcs /gc
                > >>>
                > >>>
                > >>> Theme: Distance
                > >>> Season: Spring
                > >>> Kigo: Kite
                > >>> Links: 1-2 tail/kite
                > >>> Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
                > >>> Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
                > >>> July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
                > >>>
                > >>> much love
                > >>> gillena
                > >>>
                > >>>
                > >>> ____________
                > >>>
                > >>> This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical
                > >>> remarks:
                > >>>
                > >>> 1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a
                > >>> twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what there is
                > >>> to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch
                > >>> the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".
                > >>>
                > >>> 2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a haiku-
                > >>> like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just
                > >>> linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a post
                > >>> card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to "fly"
                > >>> for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually
                > >>> "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post
                > >>> card / weather).
                > >>>
                > >>> 3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical
                > >>> problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches" for
                > >>> the first line.
                > >>>
                > >>> 4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the verses,
                > >>> I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit of a
                > >>> stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the pun).
                > >>>
                > >>> 5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-) The link
                > >>> between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't
                > >>> even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might be
                > >>> "Spire / Tail".
                > >>>
                > >>> Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring
                > >>> feeling.
                > >>>
                > >>> Vaughn
                > >>>
                > >>
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > > ------------------------------------
                > >
                > > Yahoo! Groups Links
                > >
                > >
                > >
                >
              • Trish Shields
                Hi, Vaughn. My computer went on the fritz the last days of July, though I managed to get online here and there, but not for long. I look forward to reading
                Message 7 of 10 , Sep 1, 2008
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                  Hi, Vaughn. My computer went on the fritz the last days of July,
                  though I managed to get online here and there, but not for long. I
                  look forward to reading the newer renhai, thanks.

                  Trish

                  On 31-Aug-08, at 6:16 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:

                  > Trish,
                  >
                  > I'm not sure how long ago you went off-line. :-) But a few renhai have
                  > been written recently including a solo that I did. These will be
                  > posted in the August issue of Sketchbook. I have some other news which
                  > I will post separately.
                  >
                  > Vaughn
                  >
                  > --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@...> wrote:
                  >>
                  >> Hi, Vaughn.
                  >>
                  >> Well, back online. I've missed so much and so much of my inbox is
                  >> missing! Can anyone bring me up to date?
                  >>
                  >> Trish
                  >>
                  >> On 4-Aug-08, at 7:08 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                  >>
                  >>> Trish,
                  >>>
                  >>> Thank you for this extra information and analysis.
                  >>>
                  >>> Vaughn
                  >>>
                  >>> --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@> wrote:
                  >>>>
                  >>>> Hi, Vaughn:
                  >>>>
                  >>>> Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the
                  >>>> comma/
                  >>>> dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just
                  >>>> beyond
                  >>>> the pane for the cat, its tail twitching. Will the news
                  >>>> contained in
                  >>>> the letter be good or bad? In the case of the kite, it is good
                  >>>> (weather). The church has endless possibilities, one of which is
                  >>>> salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is
                  >>>> still
                  >>>> inside and not outside prowling? Clouds don't always offer rain -
                  >>>> they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for
                  >>>> weeks
                  >>>> if at all. If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will increase -
                  >>>> waiting under the rainbow.
                  >>>>
                  >>>> As you can see, all things are possible. Another link is pane in
                  >>>> verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully (play
                  >>>> on
                  >>>> words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory
                  >>>> of a
                  >>>> childhood long past in verse two. The pane in verse three
                  >>>> alludes to
                  >>>> the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of
                  >>>> which
                  >>>> look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.
                  >>>>
                  >>>> Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to
                  >>>> leap to
                  >>>> a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between the
                  >>>> solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it
                  >>>> turns
                  >>>> into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the church
                  >>>> and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that
                  >>>> same
                  >>>> rainbow can seem so close, so far away.
                  >>>>
                  >>>> Trish
                  >>>>
                  >>>> On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                  >>>>
                  >>>>> C&C invited
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> 'Endless Possibilities'
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> marmalade cat
                  >>>>> looks out the window
                  >>>>> twitching tail /ts
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> A post card in the mail box. /gc
                  >>>>> Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> church spire's reach
                  >>>>> high into the cumulus -
                  >>>>> a rainbow arcs /gc
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> Theme: Distance
                  >>>>> Season: Spring
                  >>>>> Kigo: Kite
                  >>>>> Links: 1-2 tail/kite
                  >>>>> Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
                  >>>>> Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
                  >>>>> July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> much love
                  >>>>> gillena
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> ____________
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical
                  >>>>> remarks:
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> 1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a
                  >>>>> twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what
                  >>>>> there is
                  >>>>> to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch
                  >>>>> the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> 2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a
                  >>>>> haiku-
                  >>>>> like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just
                  >>>>> linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a
                  >>>>> post
                  >>>>> card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to
                  >>>>> "fly"
                  >>>>> for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually
                  >>>>> "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post
                  >>>>> card / weather).
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> 3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical
                  >>>>> problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches"
                  >>>>> for
                  >>>>> the first line.
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> 4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the
                  >>>>> verses,
                  >>>>> I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit
                  >>>>> of a
                  >>>>> stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the
                  >>>>> pun).
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> 5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-) The link
                  >>>>> between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't
                  >>>>> even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might
                  >>>>> be
                  >>>>> "Spire / Tail".
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring
                  >>>>> feeling.
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>> Vaughn
                  >>>>>
                  >>>>
                  >>>
                  >>>
                  >>>
                  >>> ------------------------------------
                  >>>
                  >>> Yahoo! Groups Links
                  >>>
                  >>>
                  >>>
                  >>
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > ------------------------------------
                  >
                  > Yahoo! Groups Links
                  >
                  >
                  >
                • Vaughn Seward
                  Trish, For sure... of course, you can easily find them here in our archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renhai/links Vaughn
                  Message 8 of 10 , Sep 1, 2008
                  • 0 Attachment
                    Trish,

                    For sure... of course, you can easily find them here in our archives:
                    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renhai/links

                    Vaughn

                    --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@...> wrote:
                    >
                    > Hi, Vaughn. My computer went on the fritz the last days of July,
                    > though I managed to get online here and there, but not for long. I
                    > look forward to reading the newer renhai, thanks.
                    >
                    > Trish
                    >
                    > On 31-Aug-08, at 6:16 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                    >
                    > > Trish,
                    > >
                    > > I'm not sure how long ago you went off-line. :-) But a few renhai have
                    > > been written recently including a solo that I did. These will be
                    > > posted in the August issue of Sketchbook. I have some other news which
                    > > I will post separately.
                    > >
                    > > Vaughn
                    > >
                    > > --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@> wrote:
                    > >>
                    > >> Hi, Vaughn.
                    > >>
                    > >> Well, back online. I've missed so much and so much of my inbox is
                    > >> missing! Can anyone bring me up to date?
                    > >>
                    > >> Trish
                    > >>
                    > >> On 4-Aug-08, at 7:08 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                    > >>
                    > >>> Trish,
                    > >>>
                    > >>> Thank you for this extra information and analysis.
                    > >>>
                    > >>> Vaughn
                    > >>>
                    > >>> --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@> wrote:
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>> Hi, Vaughn:
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>> Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the
                    > >>>> comma/
                    > >>>> dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just
                    > >>>> beyond
                    > >>>> the pane for the cat, its tail twitching. Will the news
                    > >>>> contained in
                    > >>>> the letter be good or bad? In the case of the kite, it is good
                    > >>>> (weather). The church has endless possibilities, one of which is
                    > >>>> salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is
                    > >>>> still
                    > >>>> inside and not outside prowling? Clouds don't always offer rain -
                    > >>>> they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for
                    > >>>> weeks
                    > >>>> if at all. If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will increase -
                    > >>>> waiting under the rainbow.
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>> As you can see, all things are possible. Another link is pane in
                    > >>>> verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully (play
                    > >>>> on
                    > >>>> words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory
                    > >>>> of a
                    > >>>> childhood long past in verse two. The pane in verse three
                    > >>>> alludes to
                    > >>>> the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of
                    > >>>> which
                    > >>>> look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>> Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to
                    > >>>> leap to
                    > >>>> a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between the
                    > >>>> solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it
                    > >>>> turns
                    > >>>> into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the church
                    > >>>> and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that
                    > >>>> same
                    > >>>> rainbow can seem so close, so far away.
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>> Trish
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>> On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>>> C&C invited
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> 'Endless Possibilities'
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> marmalade cat
                    > >>>>> looks out the window
                    > >>>>> twitching tail /ts
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> A post card in the mail box. /gc
                    > >>>>> Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> church spire's reach
                    > >>>>> high into the cumulus -
                    > >>>>> a rainbow arcs /gc
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> Theme: Distance
                    > >>>>> Season: Spring
                    > >>>>> Kigo: Kite
                    > >>>>> Links: 1-2 tail/kite
                    > >>>>> Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
                    > >>>>> Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
                    > >>>>> July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> much love
                    > >>>>> gillena
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> ____________
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few technical
                    > >>>>> remarks:
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> 1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a
                    > >>>>> twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what
                    > >>>>> there is
                    > >>>>> to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and switch
                    > >>>>> the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> 2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a
                    > >>>>> haiku-
                    > >>>>> like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just
                    > >>>>> linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a
                    > >>>>> post
                    > >>>>> card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to
                    > >>>>> "fly"
                    > >>>>> for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually
                    > >>>>> "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post
                    > >>>>> card / weather).
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> 3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical
                    > >>>>> problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches"
                    > >>>>> for
                    > >>>>> the first line.
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> 4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the
                    > >>>>> verses,
                    > >>>>> I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit
                    > >>>>> of a
                    > >>>>> stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the
                    > >>>>> pun).
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> 5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-) The link
                    > >>>>> between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't
                    > >>>>> even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might
                    > >>>>> be
                    > >>>>> "Spire / Tail".
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring
                    > >>>>> feeling.
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>> Vaughn
                    > >>>>>
                    > >>>>
                    > >>>
                    > >>>
                    > >>>
                    > >>> ------------------------------------
                    > >>>
                    > >>> Yahoo! Groups Links
                    > >>>
                    > >>>
                    > >>>
                    > >>
                    > >
                    > >
                    > >
                    > > ------------------------------------
                    > >
                    > > Yahoo! Groups Links
                    > >
                    > >
                    > >
                    >
                  • Trish Shields
                    Thank you very much. I ll get started once my youngest is back in school. Ah the dog days/daze of summer. Trish
                    Message 9 of 10 , Sep 1, 2008
                    • 0 Attachment
                      Thank you very much. I'll get started once my youngest is back in
                      school. Ah the dog days/daze of summer.

                      Trish

                      On 1-Sep-08, at 9:17 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:

                      > Trish,
                      >
                      > For sure... of course, you can easily find them here in our archives:
                      > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/renhai/links
                      >
                      > Vaughn
                      >
                      > --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@...> wrote:
                      >>
                      >> Hi, Vaughn. My computer went on the fritz the last days of July,
                      >> though I managed to get online here and there, but not for long. I
                      >> look forward to reading the newer renhai, thanks.
                      >>
                      >> Trish
                      >>
                      >> On 31-Aug-08, at 6:16 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                      >>
                      >>> Trish,
                      >>>
                      >>> I'm not sure how long ago you went off-line. :-) But a few renhai
                      >>> have
                      >>> been written recently including a solo that I did. These will be
                      >>> posted in the August issue of Sketchbook. I have some other news
                      >>> which
                      >>> I will post separately.
                      >>>
                      >>> Vaughn
                      >>>
                      >>> --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@> wrote:
                      >>>>
                      >>>> Hi, Vaughn.
                      >>>>
                      >>>> Well, back online. I've missed so much and so much of my inbox is
                      >>>> missing! Can anyone bring me up to date?
                      >>>>
                      >>>> Trish
                      >>>>
                      >>>> On 4-Aug-08, at 7:08 PM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                      >>>>
                      >>>>> Trish,
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>> Thank you for this extra information and analysis.
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>> Vaughn
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>> --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, Trish Shields <bard@> wrote:
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>> Hi, Vaughn:
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>> Thanks for your comments. I agree with your comment about the
                      >>>>>> comma/
                      >>>>>> dash, changing of words in L3. Endless possibilities lie just
                      >>>>>> beyond
                      >>>>>> the pane for the cat, its tail twitching. Will the news
                      >>>>>> contained in
                      >>>>>> the letter be good or bad? In the case of the kite, it is good
                      >>>>>> (weather). The church has endless possibilities, one of which is
                      >>>>>> salvation - perhaps for the bird or mouse that sees the cat is
                      >>>>>> still
                      >>>>>> inside and not outside prowling? Clouds don't always offer
                      >>>>>> rain -
                      >>>>>> they may be pregnant with rain but the birthing may not come for
                      >>>>>> weeks
                      >>>>>> if at all. If it comes, perhaps someone's fortune will
                      >>>>>> increase -
                      >>>>>> waiting under the rainbow.
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>> As you can see, all things are possible. Another link is pane in
                      >>>>>> verse one, found within the letter and possibly the painfully
                      >>>>>> (play
                      >>>>>> on
                      >>>>>> words) arthritic hands of those who keep flying kites in memory
                      >>>>>> of a
                      >>>>>> childhood long past in verse two. The pane in verse three
                      >>>>>> alludes to
                      >>>>>> the beautiful stained glass windows found in a church, many of
                      >>>>>> which
                      >>>>>> look like small prisms holding all the colours of a rainbow.
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>> Freedom can be measured in the distance it takes for a cat to
                      >>>>>> leap to
                      >>>>>> a bird feeder before the bird flies away; the distance between
                      >>>>>> the
                      >>>>>> solid reality of a kite and the mystery of the imagination as it
                      >>>>>> turns
                      >>>>>> into a flying dragon or a sailboat; the distance between the
                      >>>>>> church
                      >>>>>> and heaven or the beginning of a rainbow arch and the end of that
                      >>>>>> same
                      >>>>>> rainbow can seem so close, so far away.
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>> Trish
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>> On 3-Aug-08, at 10:49 AM, Vaughn Seward wrote:
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> C&C invited
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> 'Endless Possibilities'
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> marmalade cat
                      >>>>>>> looks out the window
                      >>>>>>> twitching tail /ts
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> A post card in the mail box. /gc
                      >>>>>>> Kite flying weather arrives; /ts
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> church spire's reach
                      >>>>>>> high into the cumulus -
                      >>>>>>> a rainbow arcs /gc
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> Theme: Distance
                      >>>>>>> Season: Spring
                      >>>>>>> Kigo: Kite
                      >>>>>>> Links: 1-2 tail/kite
                      >>>>>>> Links: 2-3 arrives/reach
                      >>>>>>> Links: 3-4 movement- clouds/tail
                      >>>>>>> July 2008 Renhai between Trish Shields and Gillena Cox
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> much love
                      >>>>>>> gillena
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> ____________
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> This renhai has a nice spring feel to it. Here are a few
                      >>>>>>> technical
                      >>>>>>> remarks:
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> 1. Verse 1 is an image of a cat looking out the window with a
                      >>>>>>> twitching tail. Beyond this simple image, I'm not sure what
                      >>>>>>> there is
                      >>>>>>> to the verse. BTW I'd change the comma in L2 to a dash and
                      >>>>>>> switch
                      >>>>>>> the wording in L3 to "twitching tail".
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> 2. The middle verse threw me at first is as I was expecting a
                      >>>>>>> haiku-
                      >>>>>>> like juxtaposition. These two lines feel more like they are just
                      >>>>>>> linked by concept and not by physical presence (i.e. sending a
                      >>>>>>> post
                      >>>>>>> card is a little like flying a kite, you send something off to
                      >>>>>>> "fly"
                      >>>>>>> for awhile. It is eventually read or looked at and it eventually
                      >>>>>>> "comes down". Another link between the lines is "arriving" (post
                      >>>>>>> card / weather).
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> 3. The first two lines in verse 3 appear to have a grammatical
                      >>>>>>> problem (lack of a verb?). I'd suggest "a church spire reaches"
                      >>>>>>> for
                      >>>>>>> the first line.
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> 4. The theme "Distance" doesn't quite seem to fit all of the
                      >>>>>>> verses,
                      >>>>>>> I suggest "Reaching" for the theme (although it might be a bit
                      >>>>>>> of a
                      >>>>>>> stretch to think of the cat in verse 1 as reaching, pardon the
                      >>>>>>> pun).
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> 5. I think you meant "Links: 3-1..." (not 3-4). :-) The link
                      >>>>>>> between verses 3 and 1 exists but is a bit weak (verse 3 doesn't
                      >>>>>>> even imply the clouds are moving). I think a stronger link might
                      >>>>>>> be
                      >>>>>>> "Spire / Tail".
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> Again, apart from these few points, this portrays a nice spring
                      >>>>>>> feeling.
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>> Vaughn
                      >>>>>>>
                      >>>>>>
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>> ------------------------------------
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>> Yahoo! Groups Links
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>>
                      >>>>
                      >>>
                      >>>
                      >>>
                      >>> ------------------------------------
                      >>>
                      >>> Yahoo! Groups Links
                      >>>
                      >>>
                      >>>
                      >>
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > ------------------------------------
                      >
                      > Yahoo! Groups Links
                      >
                      >
                      >
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